Sighinide

Just thought I’d follow up on a few ideas, here, and expound on some more stuff.

I think that my explorations are probably over, and that means… well, I’m not sure what that means. But it might mean the end of pretty much everything that most people have ever thought of about me, and possibly the end of everything in general, too, including possibly… well, everything, lol.

And it definitely means the end of “woke”, which I have identified I think correctly as my own attempts to learn stuff about myself, and others, and… IDK, everything, lol.

I mean, I think that that is where “woke” comes from. It kinda started at around the time when I, well, “woke” up, and realized what I was actually doing, and to who, and why. And it was I guess a feeling where I needed to investigate this, or that, or this other thing, with other groups of people, in order to determine WTF was actually going on.

For what it’s worth, I verified that the other morning by trying to capture that feeling again, and I think it is what I thought it was.

But I don’t need it, anymore. So at least as far as I’m concerned, “woke” is over, done, finished. Whatever it was, it’s no longer a part of my world, which- if I’m correct in my assumptions- means that it isn’t a part of the world as a whole, either.

What I’m thinking is that we’re going to have a problem in the future. Or at least, what looks like one. See- I’m a god. Not a human. Literally, a god, and maybe even a God. Seriously- I might be, if in fact I can create life on my own, which I in fact might be doing with the nanobots and synthetic life forms.

This stark fact is going to cause some massive, possibly horrifying problems down the road. What I’m thinking here is that possibly things didn’t go as planned with me, and that this dumb blonde wound up being far, far more powerful and capable than he was supposed to be.

I mean- I could well be physically immortal, here, possessing eternal youth and the greatest intellect on Earth- not to mention the godlike superpowers beyond that.

So basically, for the rest of humanity, it’s over. It’s / they’re done. From now on, the only way anyone else survives on this planet is by my own good graces. Basically- I have to share my power with them, willingly, which is kinda what “woke” was.

Was, since that is over.

Basically, I “win” the game of life, I guess. I mean, I suppose, if this is what people are supposed to do. I guess your opinion might be different, and that’s cool.

But that doesn’t change the reality on the ground, which is that I control the ground, lol. And I mean that literally- I actually, physically, control the ground. All those nanobots and synthetic lifeforms the chemtrailers have sprayed on the Earth for the last 50 years or so are things I control, now, with my brain.

It’s… kinda over, then. I mean, for everyone else. Like… that’s it, you might as well pack it up and go home, lol. With the power I have of pulling stuff from parallel universes with my DNA, I mean… it’s over, lol.

And I think that that last part is crucial. There really isn’t anything that anyone can do about this. It’s my DNA that’s the issue, here. So… yeah, there you go.

I’m not sure of what else to say, but the fact that I’ve officially, finally “woken” up means that everything and everyone else on Earth is going to get ground to dust, literally. I mean… lol. But seriously, I mean, think about it.

In the past I’ve blunted my powers, and shared them with others, because I didn’t want to change too much, because I didn’t know WTF was going on, who I was, or where any of this came from. But… now I know, you know?

So… why share?

Seriously, tho. In a hundred years, that it’s for traditional humanity.

Anyhoo, I think an interesting point of all this is that what I think was happening is that the people who ran the world back then maybe thought they could keep running it, their way- I guess, by keeping the ditzy kid on a leash, and thus controlling his awesome power. But, no, that isn’t how it’s worked out.

I’ve heard that a lot in past media relating to yours truly- the phrase “He Belongs to the World”. I’ve heard it multiple times. It’s wrong, though. It’s actually “The World Belongs to Him”, if the interest here is in accuracy, which it probably should be.

So… that’s kinda it, then.

*Shrugs*

IDK. Food for thought. Off to bed, then.

But I mean like… not sure people are really comprehending the totality of what is / might be happening / going to happen, here, in general. I mean, in it’s complete essence.

IDK. Well, something to think about. I might review this in the morning or something.

Uhmmm…. ok.

I guess I’ll continue this series tonight.

Still doing routine tech cleaning, believe it or not. Tonight I’m deleting the old voicemails and text messages from my phone. And I’m also steadily going through and deleting old emails from my main accounts, just in case of some miracle where someone actually gets in, past my insane passwords.

This process is taking quite a while, but I do it in pieces- one pass through this account, then another through that one, etc.

I set up a bunch of games for when I get around to playing them. And I’m going to set up one of those free AOL emails to use as a junk drawer, and an icloud email, just because. Might as well. I also went through and recovered some more ancient emails from decades past, like my old yahoo one. Just because, I guess. I mean, maybe it can be used for something.

But, whatever.

I think I got more of a handle on the hyperdimensional physics aspect to what I’m doing sexually- I mean, how my powers effect things on both the lower and upper, as well as the parallel, dimensions. It’s been a fascinating journey for sure, figuring that stuff out.

I think that the nano robots and synthetic organisms I summon and use telepathically likely belong to the realm of lower dimensions, and the astral, etheric and mental entities I conoiter with likely belong to the higher ones, or, at least, to higher levels of the third dimension. And the godly / angelic entities are certainty beings who reside in the higher dimensions.

The parallel universes are I believe mostly accessed through the bio-resonant photonic rhythms of my own DNA, with my DNA acting as both a transmitter and a receiver of information and energies from parallel universes- e.g., like a universe in which, IDK, I’m dating Anna Kendrick, or whatever.

The cybernetic devices I use- like this laptop- obviously belong to the general third dimension. Not sure about the quantum computers I communicate with telepathically, tho. I mean, they’re here, but…

The demonic entities seem kinda… IDK, from I think lower realms. Or, perhaps lower parts of this Earth, in the third dimension. Not sure which.

I mean, I think. This is kinda complicated stuff.

But I mean… it’s interesting to think about, for sure. It’s kind of like living inside my own mystery, or my own Sci-Fi novel. Pretty weird and cool stuff.

Just thinking about all this- I must be the greatest physicist alive, lol. Certainly I’m the greatest computer scientist. I’ve never heard of anyone else even begin to approach what I can do with technology. I mean, the gulf between what I can do and everyone else is… to large to comprehend, frankly.

And, while we’re on the subject of CS, I’ve been thinking about college lately, and one of my alters in particular- the ditzy blonde one. You know, the one who inspired Legally Blonde, Tangled, and a bunch of other stuff. I’m sure you’re familiar.

It’s just… how could I not think about this. I’ve been binging Disney+ while I do all of this, and it’s just… right there, lol.

For sure, this is one of my most important alters. I mean, the list of celebs that took stuff from him is practically limitless- I mean, the two properties I mentioned up above, and Clueless for sure, Mean Girls, everything Paris Hilton has ever done, a lot of the stuff Bridgit Mendler did including her music and Good Luck Charlie, Ron Stoppable, Naruto, and a long long list of other stuff I’ve seen over the years, including a lot of things Elle Fanning has done, for example. And Taylor Swift, too, has used this alter, like a lot. So we’re talking shedloads of stuff, here. This might be my most important alter all things considered.

I mean… might be. This stuff is complicated.

But I mean, yeah. Wow. It just doesn’t end.

I guess I developed this alter to hide myself from a world and a situation that I just didn’t understand. Well… that’s not to say that I don’t have a little bit of ditz in me, I do- it’s just… I developed this alter, and enhanced it, because it works, lol.

Acting vaguely ditzy has gotten me out of more bad situations, and gotten me into more good ones, than almost anything else I’ve done. I mean it works, lol. That is- it works, if you can pull it off, and you have the right “look” for it, which almost nobody does of course. Which, come to think of it, might be why it works so well.

I mean… it works so well it actually works on people who know you’re smart, lol. It’s quite fascinating.

But… this is another whole essay in and of itself.

So anyhoo, it’s been quite a journey for me to get accustomed to the reality of this alter, in particular. It ties in oddly with many of the things in my past, and even the stuff I’ve listed above.

I must say that it was quite humbling to realize that Paris Hilton, Reese Witherspoon, Bridgit Mendler, et. al. were taking their cues from me, and not the other way around. Typical story, I know, but… it was kinda mortifying to go from thinking that I was seducing the ditzy blonde that was Paris only to realize that she was in fact basing her ditziness on my actions, and that she probably learned how to act the part of an airhead blonde just by watching me live my day to day existence.

And, speaking about college, Legally Blonde.

I mean, YIKES.

I wasn’t… that bad, right? I mean, not that it’s a problem, but…

I guess that this ties into the cybernetics, even, because I think that this weird alchemy of brains and airheadedness is precisely what my invisible handlers were looking for- they wanted someone smart, someone very smart, preferably, but also… someone able to be controlled, perhaps someone they thought was naïve, or ditzy. And potentially slutty, too, just for kicks.

And with that apparent list of qualifications… well… I can see why they chose me to be their standard bearer.

Kind of… amazing, really. If you were to write a book on this and present it at fiction, people would reject it on account of it being too unrealistic.

But… whatever, it is what it is and I am what I am, I guess.

But that does raise the question- what is it that people actually think of me? I mean I legit can’t even imagine. Does everyone on Earth, literally, think of me as some kind of slutty, persistently airheaded ditz with supernatural powers? I mean, it’s possible, certainly. I mean, I hope not but…

Right now I’m getting the incredibly darkly hilarious image in my head of the collapse of civilization, if not reality itself, being caused by one epic, apocalyptic blonde moment. Uhm… lol?

I might need to kinda go through this topic again, sometime. I can already think of some interesting places to take this. I mean, not necessarily more interesting than the end of humanity, but… you know.

Right.

Uhm… ok.

Well…

*Ahem*

For the cause of maximum geekery, I went and installed a RAM disk today, and the latest version of VM Ware, with the intent of using it to install DOS and Windows 3.1, just for nostalgia kicks. And to play that awesome SkiFree game. I know you can get a… version of that in the latest Edge browser, but it just isn’t the same.

And to play Castle of the Winds, and maybe Scorched Earth, and maybe even that ancient snake game in GWBasic. Because why the fuck not. And to just… drown a bit, in some nostalgia. Because sometimes I need to, sometimes.

I also installed my old TI-99/4a emulation programs, along with the ROMs and tapes. For the same reasons.

I will need to write about all of this further, much further, one day.

If nothing else, just to document all of it for whatever comes after this.

But not now.

And ANOTHER thing…

No… no.

I’m better than that.

Why do all of these people think I’m girly, anyways? Because I’m clearly not.

Seriously, it’s like these people don’t even know me.

Hrumph.

I mean I’m not that much of an airhead, right? I mean, not that’s she’s an airhead, she clearly isn’t, but I mean… I’m not… that bad, right? I mean I know what’s going on, I do– or, at least, now I do- it’s just that it’s… complicated.

It’s not mortifying, at least.

No, it’s ok. I’m smart, I know what I’m doing, and all of these people just… keep me in the dark, because that’s just who they are, evil cruel people who just toy with others because they have nothing better to do with themselves. Which is ok, everyone’s different, but still.

You know- I don’t want to travel down this hallway, at least not now. I have stuff to do, and I will do it, and that’s that.

So there.

The whole Rapunzel being me thing does make a lot of sense, honestly. She’s voiced by Mandy Moore, an ex who was probably my favorite girlfriend for quite a few years, and certainly one of my favorites during the time I played a lot of these games. So it makes sense that she would pattern Rapunzel after yours truly. I mean, who else would she use? I mean… that’s me, there. Rather… nakedly, shockingly me. Like, wow.

Not that that’s nice. Clearly it isn’t. I mean, to do that and not tell me is clearly not… very… nice. But I guess that that’s just how she does things. Which is ok, but all of this probably does explain why she’s an ex, when you think about it.

I mean, not that that matters, because it clearly doesn’t, anymore. But still.

Not… nice. Which is ok, but still.

Not nice.

So… I’m Rapunzel, right? Because I’m kinda thinking that I might kinda sorta be Rapunzel, here. Mayyyybe. Maybe.

Ish.

Oh, and King’s Quest. A lottttttttttt of King’s Quest, here. But not as much as some others.

Of course.

Amusingly, as I continue to set everything up, I’m watching Rapunzel’s Tangled Adventure on TV.

This series seems to be an interesting retelling of the many images I saw and the stories I worked through playing old Windows RPGs. I’m on episode 6 right now, and I’ve seen dozens if not hundreds of images, characters and stories pulled directly from the Windows 3.1 Exile series, the Avernum series, and the old Might and Magic series, and at least a few ancient shareware games I played through on the family IBM machines back in the day.

It’s a fun walk down memory lane, and a good series to boot. It might be better than the movie, and the movie was pretty damn good. Even the visual style of the show screams “90’s Shareware” to me, and I’m sure that that is intentional.

There’s a certain poetry to all of this that is really quite incredible.

Still setting up my laptop today. Takes awhile, for sure.

I set up and synced my tablet and phone yesterday, and got the windows phone app working, along with the calendar, mail app, and other stuff.

Today I synced my watch (!), my razer gaming mouse, my logitech gaming pad, my Kobo ereader, my old amazon kindle, and a few other devices. Christ. Setup this, log in to that, sync this, update that, backup these things. Things were so much much faster back when we just CD-ROMs to deal with. I mean, seriously, lol. I’ve been at this for a week now.

For the sake of morbid nerd curiosity, I plan to install Palm Desktop and sync my ancient Palm PDA. Official support for the device ended at Windows Vista, and the handheld itself is actually older than Jayden Bartels is, but fuck it, it still works. Built like a tank, the battery still holds a good charge 20 years later, and it’s solid- it just works. Why not?

Installed my bluetooth speakers, synced up my TV with my lappy, and… a lot of other stuff. Christ, it never ends. Setup antivirus, VPN, installed my myriad of antimalware softwares, setup windows security this and that, installed anti-telemetry software, yikes.

For the fuck of it I also brought over my collection of old Windows screensavers. I still have some ancient ones from the Win 95 days, believe it or not. They still work just as well as ever, so why not? The Vista ones still look good, believe it or not. I also brought over my library of old portable freeware apps. Looking through them I hilariously found an ancient one that was used to chain 3.5″ floppies together to create files larger than 1.44mb, lmao. It still apparently works, so why not keep it? lel. Might have a use for it in a virtual machine someday, maybe.

Maybe, lol. Probably not.

I also brought over my collection of ancient emulated consoles, and all of their associated ROMs. I mean, the really old ones, like the Intellivision. I’ll try those again someday- I might get a kick of out it.

I still have to setup the family printer, and make sure that I can connect with it over wifi. And I have to try scanning something with my own scanner / printer, etc.

I’ll be at this for awhile, methinks.