Sighinide

is starring in a new movie with James Franco. You know the one; we’ve all seen the trailers.

So, I need to think about something, and I need to do it now, I guess. There’s no avoiding this, anymore.

At what point does Zoey cease to me to be the impossible fantasy girl, and become a girlfriend? And then at what point does she become a piece in my collection?

I don’t know, but we’re not at the “girlfriend” part yet.

But we’re getting there… kinda.

You know- 20 years ago, I was obsessed with Lea Thompson, Zoey’s mom. I never thought of Lea as being my girlfriend or anything, but I did like her, and I did collect any pictures and video clips I could find of her. And she had a part in my fantasy universe of the time of course. In fact, Lea was a major reason that I started fantasizing about celebrities in the first place. I grew up liking her because of Howard the Duck and the Back to the Future movies, and I’m pretty sure she was the first actress that I actually saw topless on the internet. So, yeah, for 15 year old me, she was pretty important, and she became a key part of the beginnings of what became my empire.

I never thought back then that I would be at this point with her daughter. It’s kinda wierd when I think about it. I mean, I knew of Zoey’s existence- I think that I might even have some pictures with her in them in Lea’s old directory- but I never, ever thought that she would factor into my life in the way that she is. In the way that her mom did, only much moreso.

It’s pretty crazy. People just don’t change, do they? Except in minor ways. We change superficially, but the core of who we are really cannot be altered. I thought, back then, that my life would be very different these days, compared to what it was then. And it is, but… not quite.

In a way, that’s nice. Continuity can be good. So can stability. But in another way, I find it vaguely unsettling… like, I really haven’t changed much in 20 years, have I?

I think that this is why I’ve been hesitant to move Zoey out of “fantasy” status and into real friend or girlfriend status. I keep thinking about doing that, but I never take steps to follow through.

She’s almost overly qualified, being ex-Disney, having played a vampire in a B-movie, being young, pretty, famous, instagram famous, talented, and being BFFs with Chloe Moretz and friends with my other girlfriends, amongst other good things.

But- there’s that issue. In a way, my relationship with Zoey is unique. It’s very different than the ones I have with everyone else. Chloe Moretz, she’s not, in spite of everything. There are other dynamics at play with her that I’m not 100% sure yet of how to deal with.

But… I’m going to need to deal with them, somehow. I guess that I should use my relationship with Zoey to figure this stuff out, in case this situation happens again at some point.

As far as Zoey herself, I’ve mentioned some of this to her personally, but I don’t think that she totally gets my perspective. She’s only 22. Hence my writing all of this out. Maybe she’ll read this, who knows.

Yes or no, I need to think about all of this further.

And, as is typical in those cases where my fantasies intrude upon my real world issues, that could take a while.

I thought I’d do another one of these somber pieces, since it’s the eve of the election.

This, my last take on this election before its close, is roughly the same as my other ones. This whole show still seems to me seems like the final gasp of a dying oligarchy.

Nothing seems different from the usual tonight, which could well mean doom for the establishment. This election was their last chance to change with the times; to adapt to the inevitable and pave the way to their own survival. In this task, it seems from here as though they failed. In the end, neither candidate was different. Trump isn’t much different than his GOP predecessors, and Hillary is only there because she’s Bill wife. Neither seems exceptional or admirable. Neither seems worthy of being President, and neither seems to know much at all about leadership.

If Hillary wins this one, I think she will be incapable of effective governance, since she will never be able to bridge the gap between her and Trump’s supporters, let alone those like me who think that Trump is just a standard-issue GOP politician. Half the country at least will never happily go along with her, no matter what she does. And, very crucially, that half will never respect her, either. To them, she really is only there because she married Bill. That mix- a wholehearted rejection of all of her ideas combined with a very palpable lack of respect for her, will be hell on her Presidency.

In many ways, Hillary will face a much more difficult battle than Obama, if elected. In Obama’s case, his election was such a wild card that even his harshest critics (like me) gave him a period of a couple years after his inauguration to wait and see what he was about. Hillary will be afforded no such leniency. Her critics have been preparing for her Presidency for decades now, and they’ve been waiting for years to cut loose on her. And, her critics really and truly do hate her personally, already. With Obama, that came with time. Yes, the racial angle with him caused friction at first, but the personal, visceral hatred of him came later, with this policies and attitudes. With Hillary, that personal hatred started over twenty years ago. IMHO, the venom they direct toward her now is nothing compared to what she will receive once in office, when she tries to actually implement her ideas into practice. And this will start on day 1 for her, and will likely intensify as her time in office drags on.

A Hillary win will bring horrific things. It may in fact be the spark that starts Civil War II, kind of like how Lincoln’s election guaranteed the first Civil War. Could happen; I don’t know. TBH, it might be worse over the long term for both sides if that doesn’t happen.

If Trump wins, I actually expect that he will be afforded some of the leeway that Obama got, before people saw him for who he really was. He is to most a wild card, too. Many people, even those who don’t like him, will wait and see a bit in his case.

It’s there, in that period, that his Presidency will sink or swim. If he can use that grace period to change things, and make a positive difference, than he will find a way into others’ hearts, even if only sideways. But- if he fails during this period, and can’t use his influence to help the citizenry here, than the people, both on the left and the right, will eat him alive.

All of the problems we have- the debt, the eight year depression, ISIS, the deficits, Obamacare, black violence, the immigration problems, etc., become his on Day 1. And he’ll need to fix them, and fix them fast, at least partly. Not an easy task. Maybe, not a doable task, by him or anyone else.

If he wins, I wish him well.

If he doesn’t, it will be because of 3 things, assuming that he actually wanted to win in the first place:

——————————

1) He thought, mistakenly and like all of his GOP predecessors, that he could somehow make a successful “outreach” to the Black / Mexican / Asian “communities”.

Republicans, being liberals, don’t believe in the reality of race. Thus, they have this weird habit of thinking that it is possible to “reach” Black voters by campaigning differently. Thus, they campaign in different ways to try to realize this wholly impossible dream. Some, like Romney, bend over backwards in supplication. Others, like Trump, try to intimidate. Both approaches always fail, because THE GENETIC REALITY OF RACE CANNOT BE OVERCOME WITH CHANGES IN BEHAVIOR.

Blacks and Mexicans don’t vote Republican because of Republican behavior! They don’t vote Republican because they’re BLACK and MEXICAN. And thus, not White, and thus, not Republican. That’s just how it works.

Blacks will NEVER vote Republican. Ever. Because that’s how reality is.

Trump and his supporters, being liberals, don’t see this or perhaps even understand it.

And thus, at this he fails.

2) Trump, like all of his recent GOP predecessors, refused to represent his constituency.

Case in point – Trump refused, ardently, to speak up for Whites who have suffered under Black violence.

He also refused to speak up for Whites who have been the target of assaults by Mexicans. Yes, I know about the “Rapists” quote. But, where were the facts and figures? Where was the outline of his to ship ALL illegals back? Yes, all of them, and not the 2 million he mentioned on his “Manifesto”.

And why does he want to staff his cabinet with Goldman Sachs members, like those Presidents that he criticized earlier?

It was Trump’s refusal to stand up for his followers that made him such an easy target for the left. Because they knew he was soft. Because they knew that his followers weren’t represented by him, and thus wouldn’t have his back in a fight.

Trump, being a typical GOP politician, doesn’t seem to have the ability to see beyond the end of his nose.

3) Trump did not, or perhaps could not, separate himself from the other Oligarchs, and in particular his GOP friends.

Who, I ask, is Trump going to put in his cabinet, should he win? Guliani? Gingrich? Who knows? If Trump really is a genuine threat to the system, where are his friends that would help him realize that threat?

They’re nowhere to be found, because he didn’t try to make any.

This is perhaps the point that indicates that he never actually wanted to be elected. Trump’s campaign was all about himself. He had a wealth of opportunities to create ties with other people. I mean, he ran for President 16 years ago. 16 years is plenty of time to forge connections with other, like minded people who could serve as potential cabinet members and allies. 16 years is plenty of time to forge a positive connection with the common man that goes beyond “Vote for me because I’m not a Clinton”.

I’ve pointed this out before, but Trump should have taken a page out of me, and given some of his knowledge freely to others. Being a self-made Billionaire, he could have given the public a wealth of insight into business building and profit accumulation in bad times, and in this depressionary environment, such advice would have been enormously appreciated.

Shades of Ron Paul, here, too, and his years of writing articles on the Web and publishing them for free so that the public could learn from his vast knowledge of libertarian thought.

Such actions engender respect and loyalty. They prove intelligence and dedication to something.

Yes, I know of Trump’s books. But, most were published years ago, and have no practical relevance anymore, not in subject matter, or even in format. The only writing that counts now is what’s free and online.

I mean, why didn’t Trump simply give his books away for free, in PDF format?

Why the hell not? He’s already a Billionaire. What, does he want a few extra thousand? WTF?

This action, as small as it would have been, would have proven to others that he was truly with them.

Or, he could have done something else.

But, he chose not to.

——————————

So- NOW what?

I don’t know.

But, I’m tired, and like everyone else, I just want this damn thing to be over with, one way or another.

Oh, and one more thing- before I close this out, I want to point out that whoever wins that election could well lose the war. These are not normal times, by any stretch. Big changes are coming, whether the establishment wants them or not.

CLEARLY doesn’t know who I am.

I just read the lyrics for “Better Man” and she seems to think I’m jealous of her, or something, just because of her lifestyle and all of her supermodel friends and all of that, which ISN’T me. Not even close. That has NEVER been me.

And I’m NOT mean to her. I’ve NEVER been mean or condescending to her, ever, except for those blog posts on here, yeah, and all of that stuff I tweeted to her, okay, and all of that stuff I said to her telepathically, sure, and all of that stuff I said to her friends about her, and… yeah.

Yeah….

Well… she deserved it, at least.

Mostly. Basically.

Hrumph.

Just a random jumble of thoughts and things.

1) Rocky Horror stuff – One last thought. It was really interesting to actually see Rocky Horror on TV again, like I used to see it, way back in the day.

I used to watch Rocky Horror on TV when I was a kid, back in those days when primetime TV on FOX amounted to nigh endless repeats of films in their back catalog. I swear I didn’t understand even a scene of it back then, let alone any of the subtext or commentary and whatnot, but I found it enthralling, or at least interesting, anyways. This was back when I was like 10.

Seeing the remake now, it’s clear that the original had some kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely-but-not-really all THAT much influence on me. As in, it might have influenced me, somehow, in some way. Somehow. Not sure, though. You know how it goes.

But, anyways, it WAS kinda cool seeing Victoria et al. in their remake. It brought back memories. Not many, mind you, but some.

And that’s all that counts.

2) Marvel stuff – I’m going through my old comics right now, to pitch some of the ones I, um, bought on my computer, so I don’t need the paper copies anymore.

As I do so, I’m noticing interesting things. In particular, I’m realizing how much of an influence American comics had over Japanese manga. I mean, I knew the influence was there, but I never noticed it until just now. Noticed it fully, I mean.

I know that there are a few people who made the obvious connection between Superman and Goku (shout out to Death Battle, here), but I just now realized the connection between Captain Mar-vell and Goku, and the Kree race and the Sayajins. Looking at it now, it’s just so obvious.

For those uninitiated into the cult of comic books, the Kree are a race of tyrannical intergalactic warriors with highly advanced technology and a human-like appearance. Sometime during the Silver Age of comics, one of their number travels to Earth with intent to subdue it, or at least scope it out, for a future possible conquest for his race. Eventually, though, he grows to like his new planet- and joins their society, rejecting his own and his own heritage in the process. This is Mar-vell’s story. And also Goku’s, basically.

In fact, I’m seeing that a lot of what I liked in DBZ probably came, in some form, from old Marvel comics. Look at the similarity between the end of Cell’s fight with Gohan and the fight between the Beyonder and Molecule Man at the end of Secret Wars II. The Marvel influence over DBZ is just so huge. So obvious.

I love following the clues and finding these patterns. There’s nothing more rewarding or enjoyable, in some ways.

3) Fashion stuff – I got a visit from Diana Vreeland the other day.

Yup. Believe it or not, that did happen. She was curious, and wanted to actually see me for herself.

It happened in the morning. I woke up and BOOM there she was. Unfortunately, I was tired and fell back to sleep after chatting with her for a few minutes. When I woke up again, she was gone.

But still…

Diana Vreeland.

Wow.

4) World Series stuff – Watching the Cubs in the WS is fun, but while watching them I’m starting to realize why I stopped watching TV.

Everything on TV is just too much, these days. The commercials are too irritating and too numerous, the TV screens are too big and annoyingly bright and the volume too loud across the board, and everything, especially that which concerns sports, is just so… repetitive. I wish I could say that I was looking forward to the next few nights of back-to-back-to-back 4 and a half hour baseball games, and I am, but… yeah.

You know, TV used to be something you would have on in the background, while you did something else, or talked to your family. Now, TV’s are so huge and loud and demanding that they always become the center of attention, regardless of everything else. Watching the WS, I feel like I’m under assault, somewhat. Perhaps this would be allieviated if I was to actually get used to watching TV again, but I still don’t think it would go away- at least not entirely.

I guess I’ll finish out the series, or at least most of it, since I kinda committed myself to doing so, but still… I think I’ll continue to stay away from TV for the time being after all of this is over.

5) Halloween stuff – Halloween around here is this Sunday. Yay.

I always use Halloween to gauge myself. Every year after Halloween, I make a promise to myself that I’ll improve myself in some way, so that I get to soak up more of the holiday the year following.

So, come the end of each October, I’ll re-access my previous 360-ish days and determine how I’ve done since the last Halloween.

How did I do this year?

I think I did OK.

In light of Rocky Horror premiering tonight, I thought I’d give people an update on the bizarrity and sexual creepiness of things on my end. Because who doesn’t want that?

I’m referring of course to the weirdness of the cast, with Annaleigh and Victoria and all that.

In regards to Annaleigh, it turns out that that particular rabbit hole goes deeper than I had realized.

See, it turns out that Annaleigh Ashford is… Annaleigh, the chick from Rent that I followed back in 2009.

The thing is, I never made the connection between “Annaleigh Ashford” and “Annaleigh” because I used IMDB to check up on her, and Rent of course isn’t listed there, since a stage production. So, I actually do have her stuff. I have head shots, some screen captures and even a nude scene video from Rent.

So I actually was kinda into her, at some point. Did I… you know? Fuck her? Or not? I don’t think I did.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t. 95% sure. 85% sure. 80%. But, definitely mostly sure.

Wild. I just… didn’t realize.

You know, I should probably watch the show myself, just for inherent uncomfortableness of all of this. I mean, just look at this mess, surrounding a Rocky Horror remake, of all things.

Well, in either case I should watch for the sake of my relationship w/ Vicky, since I’ve been purposely avoiding her for awhile now out of a sense of curiosity for what the show has in store. WTH, right? See, I wanted to build up anticipation, and I want to know how things look on her end, and why not see all of that broadcast to the masses in 4K resolution, with 16 million colors and surround sound?

Because if we’re going to take the time to be a little strange and semi-perverted, we might as well flip the bird to whatever remains of standards and decency and go all out, right?

Meh. Didn’t watch it.

The reactions on Twitter were the same, though. Trump isn’t expanding his base any, and neither is Hillary.

Neither one of these two is a natural leader, and it shows. They’re still just oligarchs fighting turf battles.

Trump hasn’t convinced people that he can do the things that he says he wants to if elected, and Hillary is… Hillary. She’ll try to represent her side of the country, but get nowhere because nobody who doesn’t support her already will ever trust her.

So, there it is.

They’re stuck, and it’s looking increasingly like they’ll stay stuck, forever, unless something bizarre and truly unexpected happens.

So, now what?

For me, if Trump gets elected, he’ll owe me. If he doesn’t, I won’t care, since I don’t much like him, frankly. If Hillary wins, she’ll owe me, too- I am well aware how much of the modern feminist movement came from me- and if she doesn’t, I won’t care for her, either.

And…

I see that the bogeyman of “ISIS” or “Islamic Terrorism” is still a thing, which just re-enforces my earlier hypothesis that the creation of “Islamic Terrorism” would be the death of the oligarchy. The problem is that the oligarchs don’t have a choice, anymore, but to attend to the real issues, since they are now so overwhelming. But they can’t, because they need to keep yapping about ISIS now. They’re caught in a bind. The military is bankrupting the government, and thus themselves, but they can’t leave the Middle East because of “ISIS”. So, the oligarchy has nowhere to go on that issue but down.

I still believe that 9/11 was the single biggest mistake any ruling class ever made in history. Having directly attacked the public like that, they’ll never be able to reconnect in any meaningful way ever again. Barring a miracle, they’re toast here in the US. The future for the US oligarchy lies elsewhere, if it’s lucky, or perhaps nowhere at all.

I just want the damn election over with.

I need to free up space on my hard drive, so I’m moving some people onto the external, and, presumably, out of my life. Just a heads up.

Dianna Agron- You’re a fantastic person, and I value the time we spent together very much. I learned a lot in our time together, and I’m sure that you did, too. So, I think that now is a perfect time for us to part, except for our platonic acquaintanceship. To be blunt, we’ve lost interest in each other romantically, which for us both is probably ideal. I am quite sure that your new married life with… IDK, the Mumford and Sons guy (sorry) will be fantastic, and just what you and I need. Farewell, and godspeed.

Ashley Greene- See above, except replace the “Mumford and Sons guy” part with a mention of her own fiancé. Thanks for everything.

Katy Perry- good luck with Orlando. If the Daily Mail’s gossip columns are true (yeah, I know) and you want a kid, have one. I’m sure that you’ll make a great mom to whomever, with someone else. Goodbye and good luck!

Anna Margaret- you’re awesome and young, and that’s the truth. So, this one I vacillated over, for that and a couple of other reasons, such as: 1) She’s ex-Disney, so there’s that, 2) her relationship with her new husband is absolutely inscrutable to me; I mean, I legitimately don’t know WTF is actually going on there, if anything, 3) I can’t actually find a place for her in my fantasies anymore, so I’ve kinda given up trying which is why I haven’t been w/ her in ages, and 4) her own relationship w/ me, when we still had one, was also inscrutable, as in, there were times when I didn’t know WTF she was actually doing there, if anything. So in the end, I think it best if we both separate permanently and move on. In other words, I want to stay broken up. Your pics will go on the external, to be, IDK, archived for possible future study, if that is ever needed. Good luck with your new husband and your career. Farewell.

Some others- Kaya Scodelario, Samantha Droke, and a few others. IDK. Kaya and I never really connected, and she has a family of her own anyways, and Samantha isn’t famous and it’s much harder for me to maintain a relationship with a non-celeb person (see above, w/ Anna).

The non-famous issue that is coming in-between Sammy and I is a bigger issue than is immediately obvious. I mean, Selena Gomez doesn’t actually need a husband. She’s rich. Samantha isn’t, though. And, all Sammy has to connect w/ me are my Disney memories of her and her Instagram. There’s literally nothing else, and an infrequently updated Instagram isn’t enough for me to sustain any real interest on. So, we both need to put a permanent end to our romantic prospects together, for both of us. So, let’s move on from each other, Sammy. Bye bye bye.

And, I think she’s engaged, too. I think. I hope. It’s always best to move on during a high note for both parties.

So, bye.

Whoever coined the dictum “Politics is Hollywood for ugly people” was far more prescient than even he himself realized.

Ugh.

FUCK.

Are we actually doing this shit again? I mean, going through all those damn 90’s Bill Clinton scandals? Are we REALLY doing this again?

I remember hating all of that 20 years ago. I hated the fact that that crap was “news” while the things that mattered weren’t. Even in junior high, I found all of that nonsense embarrassing as hell for all involved.

Shame… shame on all of them. Clinton (both of them), Trump, the media, and everyone else.

For shame!

Fuckers.

In the pop culture realm, that kind of stuff is acceptable and expected, because that’s where it belongs.

That stuff does NOT belong in the news. And certainly not during a damn 8 year and counting recession. Not NOW, you idiots!

I’m getting really fucking tired of all of this. I want it over. Elections in this country last too damn long. It’s ridiculous, and the two years of solid pandering and attention whoring each presidential election apparently requires makes all involved look like clowns and simpletons.

You know, back the 80’s, perhaps two years of this crap was justified. That was before the internet, so people needed more time to find out each candidate’s positions and such. Maybe it was more appropriate, then.

But now, it’s just a painful, irritating, never-ending slog, because you can’t get away from it. It’s all over TV, all over the news- both online and off, all over social media, all over peoples’ conversations, etc., and it’s so damn annoying I want to pull my fucking hair out.

SHIT, people.

God damn!

Well, there. It’s out.

Well, not entirely. To continue with the rant, all of this “news” really underscores two things, in my mind:

1) Baby boomers are really, really immature. Seriously, guys. Both candidates are what, in their 70’s? And they’re both plainly less mature than the average high schooler.

Boomers tend to chide millennials for lack of maturity, which I find to be one of society’s most ironic stances, since they themselves clearly lack what they accuse others of not having.

The big baby boomer political clown show didn’t start here, of course. It began with Clinton I, and has continued, unabated, until today, with it’s only variance the fact that it seems to be getting worse now on a daily basis.

Boomers, here’s the reality: nobody but you cares, one way or another, about any of the 80’s era “scandals” that the two candidates are talking about right now. Nobody cares, and nobody should care, because none of this crap actually matters. Just. Shut. UP.

2) Both candidates are isolated, off in their own little bubble, far, far away from everyone else.

There’s the baby boomer bubble, and then there’s the political bubble. And then there’s the “baby boomer political bubble”, which seems to be a universe unto itself.

What once worked no longer does. The federal debt, for example, is a big deal, and it is not easily hidden anymore. Back in 1982, it was. But now, it’s a google search away. So, it’s a deal, it’s on people’s minds, and it’s something that MUST be addressed in some way if the candidates want legitimacy. Why is the fact that Obama doubled the federal debt not a topic that is being discussed? Where is the plan, from either candidate, to undue this? The Reagan years are over, people. Things need to change.

I don’t want to just repeat my old posts, though. I know that I’ve already laid all of that out, ad nauseam. But, nothing ever changes, so I don’t either.

Ugh.

I just want it over, already.

seems to want to talk about poetry. She’s been spotted out and about a few times receently with a T-shirt inspired by Ginsberg’s Howl.

I’ve never been much for Ginsberg, myself, so instead of talking about Howl, I’ll offer up Karl Shapiro’s Hollywood as a counterpoint.

This poem has always been one of my favorites. It might actually be my favorite. It’s just… perfect. For me.

Hollywood, unfortunately, seems to be one of those masterpieces that, once acclaimed, has been lost to time. I couldn’t find it in it’s entirety online, anywhere. So, I typed it out myself. That way, it’ll at least be remembered here, if nowhere else.

This is a WWII era piece. The perspective here is that of a soldier daydreaming about the city while being deployed in the Pacific.

Hollywood

Farthest from any war, unique in time
Like Athens or Baghdad, this city lies
Between dry purple mountains and the sea.
The air is clear and famous, every day
Bright as a postcard, bringing bungalows
And sights. The broad nights advertise
For love and music and astronomy.

Heart of a continent, the hearts converge
On open boulevards where palms are nursed
With flare-pots like a grove, on villa roads
Where castles cultivated like a style
Breed fabulous metaphors in foreign stone,
And on enormous movie lots
Where history repeats its vivid blunders.

Alice and Cinderella are most real.
Here may the tourist, quite sincere at last,
Rest from his dream of travels. All is new,
No ruins claim his awe, and permanence,
Despised like customs, fails at every turn.
Here where the eccentric thrives,
Laughter and love are leading industries.

Luck is another. Here the body-guard,
The parasite, the scholar are well paid,
The quack erects his alabaster office,
The moron and the genius are enshrined,
And the mystic makes a fortune quietly;
Here all superlatives come true
And beauty is marketed like a basic food.

O can we understand it? Is it ours,
A crude whim of a beginning people,
A private orgy in a secluded spot?
Or alien like the word harem, or true
Like hideous Pittsburgh or depraved Atlanta?
Is adolescence just as vile
As this its architecture and its talk?

Or are they parvenus, like boys and girls?
Or ours and happy, cleverest of all?
Yes. Yes. Though glamorous to the ignorant
This is the simplest city, a new school.
What is more nearly ours? If soul can mean
The civilization of the brain,
This is a soul, a possibly proud Florence.