Sighinide

Well, I should say that the Taylor Swift I’ve created really and truly is my masterpiece. She’s absolutely the greatest pop star on Earth, hands down. She’s the reason for my existence… just as others live to, say, climb Mt. Everest or solve impossible trigonometry proofs, I live to craft pop stars.

Taylor Swift is my ultimate creation. She is my and everyone else’s dream star, come to life through my own blood, sweat and tears. With my own two dirty hands, I’ve made my great creation, my ultimate puppet, and I’m proud of myself for having done so.

When I created Taylor, I broke the mold and created my own Sistine chapel, my own masterwork. A masterwork that will stand forever as a monument to myself and my abilities.

I am proud of that.

I can’t help it. I feel jealous when I see the videos and read the news of Tay actually sending her fans stuff, like care packages and hand written letters and such.

I KNOW that that’s the wrong thing to feel, but again, it’s not like I can stop it, can I?

I mean, Tay gives me a lot- Instagram pics, tweets and hell, albums. But that stuff isn’t just for me. It’s for the whole community. One day, I kind of want something of my own. Something special and personal that nobody else gets too.

That would be nice.

*Sigh*…

I’ve done too much to make Tay successful. Little does she know, but I’ve been guiding her all along in subtle ways that not even she realizes. She wouldn’t be doing half the stuff she’s doing today without my magic constantly guiding her.

I’ve done so much for her… I love her too much, maybe.

I just want more than anything to see her happy and loved.

*Sigh*…

*Cuts wrists*.

Was it just me, or did anyone else think that Taylor’s iOS game was inspired by the Myst series? I kept getting pleasant flashbacks to the early Myst games while playing it the other day.

The slightly grainy, low res video clips interspersed with constant room exploration and sightseeing with objects that can be only slightly manipulated… the repetition of the video and the lack of combat, inventory and currency… and like Myst, the storyline, or, what there is of it, is only an excuse to explore a fascinating environment and fill the pages of your own book.

I was favorably surprised at Taylor’s game, and I look forward to completing it; it really brought me back to those hours I spent jotting down notes and plodding my way through the island on my old 486. You would almost think the game was made for me, and not for Taylor’s legion of preteen fans.

But it wasn’t. I think.

This relationship of mine never ceases to surprise me.

YES. OH YES. WE’RE DOING THIS.

There is a part of me that really, truly wants Obama to get his amnesty, because I want to cut loose 100% and go full on aggression and war. I want to cut people. I want to slice them ear to ear and laugh as their blood drains into a pool of death beneath them. I want to eviscerate someone’s guts with a rusty blade, a beautiful malice and a fanatical glee. I can feel deep inside of me the wondrous bloodlust of my ancestors, the Norse berserkers. I am a Viking. A REAL Viking. I so desperately want to rip out my enemies’ lungs from their still beating chests. I want to give a blood eagle to a worthy opponent.

I want all of Jay-Z’s stuff. I want his mansion. I want his “bling”. I want everything he has, and what better way to do that than take it with overwhelming force? I am invincible and immortal, after all. I am unkillable by normal means. I can crush anyone I please!

I can storm his mansion, kill everyone inside, and take what’s mine.

YES.

There is glory and beauty in war and violence. This is an opportunity unlike any other in my lifetime; unlike any other in history, in fact. Life has gifted me with an opportunity for mass bloodshed with a righteous purpose. I believe I would be a fool to pass up what has been so courteously presented to me.

I’m practically salivating right now at what’s in front of me. Oh yes, this will be FUN!!!!!!

DEATH to my enemies! All of them! Every single one! Death to them all, so that I may live and thrive! I want to feel others’ blood run through my fingers, like the monster I am. I am not human; not anymore. I am a nightmare upon this Earth, an unholy horror driven to slay my enemies and erase their foolish existences from the history books.

Inwardly, I can hear my ancestors whispering to me. The brutal Vikings of the Northern lands. The cannibal Neanderthals of the Steppes. The ancient Celtic necromancers. They are pushing me on, goading me deeply into the old ways. Who am I to deny them their due?

War, death, blood and destruction! These are beautiful things that I have been denied, at least until now. Thank you so much, Obama!!!!! I look forward to our inevitable in-person meeting.

Don’t you?

Well, it’s over. 700 chapters and its done.

To put that into perspective, the entirety of Dragonball and Dragonball Z combined had a mere 519 chapters. Yes, Naurto makes Dragonball look like a miniseries. Holy fuck.

And now it’s over. It’s been a long, looooooooong time… and it’s over.

Now what?

A retrospective is in order, I guess, although it’s tough to know of where to begin.

I was first exposed to Naruto when it was regularly shown on Cartoon Network on Saturday evenings. That was about ten years ago. I think it was part of their Toonami lineup, though I can’t quite remember.

The first eps I saw were of Rock Lee’s fight with Gaara during the Chunin exams. Seeing that, I was of course hooked instantly. After watching a few more episodes on broadcast TV, I then downloaded via torrent the entire series up to that point and devoured every bit of it.

It was fantastic. Masterful, even. The Zabusa arc by itself was superior to the entirety of most animes. The stories and characters were so well written and the animations were so beautiful… it was a treat to watch.

And the universe the stories were created within was vast and endlessly appealing. The Narutoverse is in and of itself a revelation. It is in my mind as rich as any in pop fiction. It can legitimately be put next to the Star Wars, LOTR, and Star Trek universes without shame.

Yes, I was hooked. Once I had seen everything, including all the available filler, I started the manga from issue one and worked my way up through the beginning of Shippuden, which was everything available at the time. I ask- has there ever been in fiction a better collection of villians than Akatsuki? I’ve seen their equal, yes. But I’ve yet to see anything better.

That Shippuden faltered, especially near the end, is unfortunate but perhaps understandable. Kishimoto is human, after all, and it isn’t possible to maintain such a high level of quality consistently over a fifteen year run. People change and circumstances change too, and in the course of such a long work, the little mistakes that were made here and there in the beginning compound on each other and become bigger mistakes as time goes on. It’s unfortunate, but that might be the curse of all very long stories.

It’s for this reason that I’m not as harsh on manga authors retconning details as others are. Sometimes the story just develops in a certain way, and things just need to be changed to account for the new direction. You can’t plan out a 700 chapter manga in advance to have no plot flaws.

So I’m OK with some stuff being dropped or “rethought”, like some of the early Sharingan powers, the visual appearance of the Rinnegan, the significance of chakra natures, etc. It happens.

It happens in the world outside of manga, too. Superman’s powers today aren’t what they used to be either- he was once able to shape shift, for example. He hasn’t done that in awhile, yes?

Sooo… I’m cool with the manga overall, and am very glad to have read it and seen much of the anime. I’ll probably catch up on the anime later… maybe nearer to its end so I can binge watch. It will be cool to see the last Naruto vs. Sasuke fight in one sitting, I think.

So yeah, Naruto had a big impression on me back then. I still think today that some of my real life powers might have been developed at least in part by what I saw in the Naruto anime. The Sharingan, for example- eyes that hypnotize others and can control their movements. Reminds me of myself. That, and the whole “I have a demon in me” thing, which reminds me now of Naruto’s relationship with Kurama.

Kurama… the demon fox. Has anyone else noticed that Kurama the demon fox of Naruto has the same name as Kurama the demon fox of Yu Yu Hakusho? People tend to link Dragonball and Naruto together, but I’ve always believed that Naruto’s true inspiration was actually Yu Yu Hakusho. This becomes especially evident when watching the last 2 seasons of Hakusho, for example, with the introduction of competing villages, hidden demonic powers, secret royal bloodlines, etc. I think that Kurama’s name is Kishimoto’s way of tacitly acknowledging this.

Of course, son Goku is there, too. So whatever.

It was weird to say my goodbyes to the Narutoverse last night, but I don’t feel bad about it. Kishimoto ended the series as he needed to have ended it, and how everyone knew from the beginning it would end.

The one exception to this point being, arguably, the Naruto-Hinata pairing. I don’t mind either way at this point, to be honest. I’ve long since stopped being concerned with pairings and shippings in this manga, though 10 years ago I was kind of hoping for a Naruto/Sakura pairbond at the end.

That was ten years ago, though.

So Naruto had a fantastic run and will stand the test of time, I’m sure. In the future, I do expect that even the end of Shippuden with Kaguya and the overpowered Madara will be looked at with more fondness than it is today. I think that the final battle will read better being devoured in one sitting than it was being unfolded piece by piece over a span of years. It got tiresome that way, and I’m frankly glad it’s over.

But all in all, it was a blast. Naruto is a work that will be remembered for as long as people read manga. His character was an inspiration to many, including myself, for quite a long time.

Other mangas might be technically better in some ways, with say better character development and better pacing, but there’s something special about Naruto that sticks with you in a way that One Piece or the various Gundams doesn’t. I’m not sure what it is… I’ll just call it charisma. Naruto has charisma to spare.

So farewell, Uzumaki Naruto, and good luck being Hokage. You’ve earned it.

They. Do. Not. Get. It.

They STILL don’t get it.

I’m going to continue to hammer away at the overall point here that must be made regarding society as a whole, and these elections in particular: the most important social problem in America today is the total disenfranchisement of the working class white male.

Why is it so hard for others to see this? Why were others so shocked at the election results? Only a fool or a child would not have seen this coming.

Our oligarchs seem to have no understanding of the actual country that the populace lives in, and no inclination to try to rectify that problem, either.

Why is it so hard to simply say what is the most obvious thing on Earth? Do they truly not have a grasp of what is going on right in front of them or something?

Again- the most important social problem in the US today is the disenfranchisement of the working class white male. Again- the most important social problem in the US today is the disenfranchisement of the working class white male. Again- the most important social problem in the US today is the disenfranchisement of the working class white male. Again- the most important social problem in the US today is the disenfranchisement of the working class white male.

Do I need to repeat myself further?

Why is there still no intelligent analysis of this problem at all in any mainstream media outlet or in fact anywhere?

Oy.

These elections were not a vote of confidence in the Republicans. Far from it. They were a solid rejection of the criminality and horror of the Obama administration by its primary victims.

I already know how this election cycle will play out. I can see the wheels turning already.

The Republicans will do the stupidest thing possible with their victories this week: they will squander it and stubbornly refuse to do anything to help those that actually elected them, thus alienating their all-important demographic even further, and possibly pushing them out of politics entirely.

If they leave politics entirely after another Republican betrayal, then the war I predicted earlier will happen. Blood will run in the streets and that will be that for the land of freedom and opportunity.

Moving beyond the issue I’ve just raised, why is there no alarm at the fact that income inequality in this country is today higher than it was during the great depression? Why is there no alarm at the fact that the Chinese government, a supposed enemy to the US, is actively colonizing the US homeland with its “industrial zones”?

The way we’re going leads to bloodshed and death, if not genocide.

But seeing as how nobody but me cares, well, that’s life I guess.

Ok, peeps and others. The pizza has been eaten and my hands are washed.

Ok, before I begin, I’d just like to say that CDs always sound better than mp3’s, so obvs, I need the CD too in this case. Also, I kind of want those pics of Taylor that I saw on the display at Target. Not sure actually if anyone is reading this but if you are and you have them PLEASE GIVE THEM TO ME.

Ok. I’m looking for a pocket knife. Found one.

OMG. NO WAY. The album is built like Nine Inch Nails’ Downward Spiral! It’s just a pocket with a physical disc and a booklet(?) on the inside. OMG. Never thought I’d see THAT design again!

My mom is calling me on the phone. Not now, Mom! I’ll return her call later.

Oh my God, it’s the Polaroids! I got set #2. They’re a little blurry, aren’t they? Woah. I like the backs, though. I REMEMBER those colors! I used to take Polaroids when I was little just so I could mess with the colors on the pictures. I got in trouble for doing so, but hey, you only live once, right?

Wait, #24… “If you leave me, I’m coming with you”?!? Is that a threat or something? Yikes. Hmmm… I remember the rug on #14 in that one pic she gave me where she was laying on it during that one Thanksgiving. I think it was after I tweeted “I love you” or something to her. I have it all documented. I’ll look it up later.

Oh yeah, “I’m thankful for relationships like this” or something. *Sigh*.

*Sigh*.

OMG, she’s chatting with me RIGHT NOW. “Wow, Polaroids!” With a chuckle. Yes Tay, now be quiet dear.

GOD she’s hot. Wow. Unreal.

This is so perfect. I take back every bad thing I’ve ever said about this album, ever.

*Sigh*.

More banter with Taylor.

I open the album AND… sweepstakes! I’ll register today, of course.

“I want to meet you!” LOL, no you don’t Taylor.

The CD has angels on it. Or no, those are birds. Like on her shirt. I’m doing this in low light conditions.

OK, I’ll be a part of the 0.2% that actually reads the foreward before listening to the album.

Interesting girrrrrl talk. Feminism lite with alot of encouraging words. I like it; it’s what I guess I expected. Very clever slight of hand with the last sentence. “From the girl who said she would never cut her hair or move to New York or find happiness in a world where she is not in love… Love, Taylor.” Hah, brilliant!

Lyrics and Polaroids. Some of these are not in the 1-65 set, I think.

Ah yes, Clean. I’m setting the album aside for a moment.

Part of the reason why I freaked out so much about Taylor when I heard 1989 for the first time is because of Clean. I was alarmed because of the drug allegory, which was surprisingly well done. I started to think in horror that Tay might have at some point, God forbid, have actually done drugs herself, as opposed to simply being friends with many people who are current and former addicts (Selena, Zac, Demi, Cara, Jamie, me… and a ton of others, I guess. *Sigh* again.)

I was scared by this, even though I’m sure it’s true on some level. Of course Taylor’s done drugs. Of course she has. She is young, rich, and is enmeshed in a culture that is notorious for producing drug users. I’m not an idiot, but the reality of this disturbs me even though I know it didn’t make a difference to her.

Well, whatever it is that’s she’s done, I hope that she’s put it behind her. Please be safe, Taylor. The thought that she might have at some point been an addict or user herself breaks my heart.

Nobody should have to go through drug addiction, and definitely not my Taylor.

I think that this is also why I wanted to talk to her so badly. I want to protect her from stuff like this, and I can’t do that over long distance. What if she does become an addict? What if she needs help from me somehow and I can’t be there for her? It would kill me to be helpless in a situation like that. What would I do? I would be out of the control seat and sitting aside, blindly, as Taylor was hurting.

That would kill me unlike anything else.

Well… this long distance talk reminds me. I need to call my mom… this post is done. I’ll listen to the album later, I guess.

The issues I’ve- we’ve- been having lately can be traced back to the obvious source. Which is… wait for it… Taylor.

Yes.

It should be obvious to all at this point that the crux of the problem lies with Taylor herself. This should be plain to anyone who can see the situation, even tangentially.

Truth be told- I think there’s something “off” about Tay. For some reason, she’s the only one who causes these epic meltdowns of mine. Nobody else seems to, at least not anymore. That being the case, it’s very clear that she’s doing something wrong. If I have 100 girlfriends, and only one of them is continually involved in significant relationship disasters, then guess which one has the problem. Right?

That being the case, I’m going to be nice to her and forgive her her mistakes… this time.

Tay has a history of using subterfuge and conniving schemes to get what she wants. Witness the dirty tricks and sneaky tactics she’s used to get her album to platinum status.

She’s spamming all of twitter, while simultaneously conning people into buying multiple copies of her album in the first week through the use of her “Polaroid” scheme.

Being in the thick of it, I’ve heard the stories. There are people who have had to buy 5, 10, or even 15 copies of her album to complete the Polaroid set. It’s ridiculous. Note the volume of 1989 discs on sale on eBay right now that are sans the Polaroids and sweepstakes form.

And to make matters worse, she’s made one of the picture groups significantly more valuable than the others. The first Polaroid group, photo numbers 1-13, is clearly superior to the others. It might even be rarer! It’s so much more valuable that this group is fetching $40-50 on eBay at this very moment, where the others groups are selling for much less than this. So of course there also resellers buying up multiple copies of her album hoping to strike gold with the first group, which they can use to make a profit, thus driving up her album sales.

It’s a nefarious plot. Even Machiavelli would have blushed at its brazenness and deceitfulness.

And let’s not forget her “Meet Taylor” sweepstakes in each album, which is Swifty capitalizing on her celebrity in the most egregious of ways. K, here’s the sitch with the sweepstakes. You need to register by tomorrow. Yes tomorrow. So you have to buy the album this week. Yikes! This is an underhanded ploy… but it works. Red in tooth and claw, and all that.

Myself? I am a loyal Swifty, in spite of her shenanigans. You take the bad with the good. That’s fan loyalty. I just got the whole Polaroid set off of eBay from a seller who gave me a sweet deal, so I’m cool. I also got the fan pack with the keychain and everything else (yea, I know, but that keychain looks chunky and fuckin’ cool). Not sure what I’ll do with the hair ties. Maybe I’ll flick them at her or something.

I also got her official guitar picks for this album, which I’ll need since I have the sets from her other albums, too. So hooray for completeness.

Whatever. And I guess I’m glad that I got all of that anger off my chest with the open letter. I needed to. In case I need to leave her at some point, God forbid, nobody can say afterwards that I didn’t warn her. That’s important.

Truthfully, I really, really like 1989, but please don’t anyone tell her that, please. Please. Mega please. It’s because I kind of wish I didn’t but there you go. OK Tay, let’s do this!

Also, in other, more breaking Taylor Swift related news, I’m sitting here eating a pizza, and I’m sure you’re wondering why. You see, yesterday my mom surprised me with a $10 off coupon for a local pizza place. Yes, 10 DOLLARS off!! That’s like a free pizza! And not only that, said pizza place is situated exactly across the street from the local Target! So I’m like, a new Taylor Swift album and a FREE PIZZA?!? Hell YES!

So I’m ravenously munching on some extra cheese with olives right now while staring at Swifty’s CD. I’m not going to dare open it until I wash my hands, which might not be for a few minutes or so. I’m so curious to see what’s in it! Which set did I get?!?

Taylor, I am not happy.

As you know, we listened to your new album last night. What you don’t know is that I didn’t like it. Not the album, which is well made and fun, but the experience of listening to it with you.

Note the tone of this letter. This will be different than the usual, jokey criticism I give you.

I am not happy.

Last night, I calmly deleted every bookmark I had pertaining to celebrity culture, including your twitter. It’s just too much. It’s too stressful and I can’t see myself growing any more as a person doing this.

I used to enjoy visiting your twitter and your instagram. Even back in those days when I shut you out a bit, I still visited out of curiosity. I’m not sure that I’ll do that for awhile, and maybe I’ll never to that again.

To be honest, I’ve come to dread visiting you online, and I’m not sure why.

We need to talk. There are very big, important issues going on between us that we can’t figure out telepathically. We need honest, open, direct communication to get over these hurdles.

I know you’re reading this. I’m sure of it. That being the case, I must ask why you have not reached out to me, even though you know that I’ve been suffering from depression, and even suicidal thoughts sometimes. That has hurt me a lot, and I truly don’t understand the reasons why things are the way they are. I need to know what’s going on.

Does what we have mean so little to you that you regard it as disposable? Am I disposable? What am I to you, exactly? Remember those questions I asked back then in previous posts? Well, I’m still asking them.

Taylor, it is wrong of us to continue doing what we’re doing without communication. What we do is impacting the lives of many millions of children and their families across the globe. It is irresponsible of us to have such power and not value it to the point where we shun real communication. The things we do are very impactful on the lives of the world’s most impressionable people. It is unfair to others to take our relationship so lightly.

What we had years ago when our relationship started is no longer what we have today. Everything since then has changed, and so the rules must change as well. We cannot continue operating now like we did back then, and most especially not if what we have continues to grow in importance.

We need to talk.

Taylor, you don’t know me. I know that you think you do, but you are making the same mistakes about me that your fans make about you. You see snippets of me here and there, you listen to me when I speak, and you are intimate with me, yes… but do you know what I did when I was a kid? Do you know what my school life was like, and who my friends were? Do you know anything of what I do now at my 50 hour a week job? Do you even know my job title?

Do you know how I do telepathic things, or know how I trained my mind to be able to handle them? No, I know you don’t because I’ve hidden that knowledge from you, along with the rest of the important things that I have never communicated to you telepathically.

I need to tell you something: my life is going to be undergoing major changes soon. In what way, I’m not sure, but things cannot continue as they are today for much longer. That job I just talked about? It is a low paying contract position only. The company I work for, AbbVie, has a strict policy against hiring white men.

AbbVie currently is one of the nation’s biggest promoters of corporate racial diversity. See this article praising them about this from DiversityInc.: http://www.diversityinc.com/abbvie/. They have achieved this by lately installing a policy of refusing to hire white men for any full time jobs. I know this because my manger and a few others have told me this directly, to my face, when I have asked about open positions.

Taylor, I need money. And a future. If I am to get them in this environment, my attentions and powers will need to be directed elsewhere. I can get money, yes, but only at the expense of our relationship. There is only so much I can do in one day. I will not be able to be with you as much, if at all, on your new tour doing what we used to do. And with that being the case, do I even want to be with you?

This is not a plea for money from you. What I’m saying is that my free time may be dramatically cut short soon, so I need to know from you, unequivocally, what your intentions are regarding our relationship. Will any time I spend with you be worthwhile?

How much do you value what we have? I must know. I assumed once that you valued it as much as I did, but now that I’ve heard your new album, I question how true that thought is. There were too many references in there to the transience of what we have. I didn’t like hearing those lines.

Perhaps I’ve misjudged you. I once thought that what we have might blossom into something real. The other girls… I understand that it isn’t permanent with them. That’s the vibe they give off. It’s what they expect, I know. But for some reason, I thought, perhaps erroneously, that you were different. Maybe that wasn’t a good judgment call on my part.

I’ve been putting off real relationships for the sake of my emotional investment in you. That cannot continue. I am tired of seeing my mom cry because I am 34 years old, living at home, and haven’t had a date in years. I, myself, am tired of the life I’ve been leading up in my cramped little room. I am done waiting.

What is it that you want from me? Is it your only interest to be a sex object for me? In that case, I’ll fuck you until I see a picture of you with cellulite, and then dump you. That’s fine. But I thought that what we had was more than just that. But maybe my expectations don’t matter to you.

To be honest, I will likely end up dumping you before I see the cellulite. Attraction is a fickle thing; you can lose it easily under a variety of situations. Too much stress and a general confusion about what is going on will do it, for example. And if attraction is all we have… we’ll be left with nothing when it’s gone. I want to value you more than as just a sex object, but I’ll need to know who you are for that to happen.

We need to talk.

Taylor, up until now our relationship has been great to me because it has inspired me to evolve myself, but I’m having trouble seeing how you can help me in that respect beyond this point.

Telepathically, I have achieved everything I’ve wanted to do. Every goal I’ve had has been met. Socially, I’m stronger and more adept than I’ve ever been. Spiritually, I have a new in-person self confidence that is obvious to everyone that sees the real me. I know who I am now, thanks to what we’ve done together. Emotionally, I can express myself like a new man. Physically, I’m so, so much healthier. I’ve transformed myself. I’m hovering around 13% BF and am a few pounds away now from having that toned six-pack look you like so much. And with my new knowledge… it will stick. I’m doing that for me, yes, but I’m doing that for you, too.

You have inspired me more than anyone else I’ve known, and I know that I can continue to be inspired by you and grow with you in the future… but not like this. We’ve reached the end of what we can do with each other over long distance.

With my current goals met, I need something beyond them now. I see myself as being at a dead end with you because it looks like you’re not going to give me anything else. I must continue to grow as a person and I need someone to help with that, and if it’s not you, it will be someone else.

Am I making myself clear to you with this post? I hope I am because you really don’t seem to understand much of what I’m doing or thinking lately, just as I’ve struggled some with understanding your situation.

You seem to be misunderstanding many, many things. Another example would be your mistaken belief that I must “always be there” on some level. That is incorrect. Just as I’ve blocked out the bulk of my real knowledge from you, I can block you out entirely from myself. I can train my mind to block you completely from my thoughts in all ways, even while sleeping. I haven’t done this to anyone yet, but if I must, then so be it.

If our relationship turns sour, this might be the best thing for me. I do need someone in my life, and I can’t have that someone if you’re in there, crowding her out.

The other celebrities I can deal with as they come and go. You, I cannot. Our relationship might be for all or nothing.

Taylor, we need to talk. It is beyond late for this. It is not fair to anyone but yourself to have the situation continue as it is right now. The correct way, the only way, to handle the issues I’ve raised is with a direct dialogue.

Now that you know where it is that I stand, I deserve to know what you think.

We need to talk.

Another week, another school shooting. Of course. Where was it this time? New York? Wyoming? Illinois?

It’s predictable and endless. As usual, the headlines screamed the same old, boring stuff.

“Why?!” asks the Dad of a victim. “How could he/they do this?” asks a survivor. “I had no idea this would happen!” says someone. Who, I don’t know. The parent of the shooter? A teacher? A principal? All three?

It’s all so routine now, isn’t it?

And again, naturally, there is no sensible discussion as to why this keeps happening in the media or anywhere else. Of course.

It’s always the same damn thing after a school shooting. Every news show presents the same footage and commentary as every other news show. Every article in the mainstream media takes the same viewpoint and presents the same facts. Every survivor asks the same questions. Over and over and over again.

And as usual, those not directly effected tune it out and go about their daily lives after shaking their heads. Of course. Except for the conspiracy sites, who will present “proof” that all such killers are mind controlled patsies of an enormous global conspiracy. Of course.

My thoughts? Every school shooting reminds me now of Jeff Weise. It didn’t used to, but as I get older that’s what happens. Not sure why. Perhaps my contact with him influenced me more than I realized. Or maybe it’s just because people tend to look backwards more as they age.

It’s a coincidence that a couple weekends ago, I was sorting through some of my old archived web pages and found some of Jeff’s posts from a long gone rivethead/ extreme metal message board. After his massacre, the media sensationalized his membership on the old Nazi.org messageboard and his violent stories, but they didn’t report on his earlier stuff, perhaps because it wasn’t controversial enough. Or, I guess, because they didn’t know about it. He had a different handle back then. If my memory is correct, he started out with Einsatzcommando.

I’ll never forget the shock I felt when reading the headlines after the massacre. TodesEngel actually shot up his school and murdered his classmates. Wow. Holy fuck. I knew he was angry but I didn’t know… wow.

I read article after article about it. I listened to every news broadcast and followed the ensuing controversy on the Nazi.org messageboard itself, where Bill White and a few other White Nationalist leaders signed up specifically to field questions from mainstream reporters on the forum. It was nuts. I was just a lurker there, so nobody paid me any mind. Thank God.

The best write up on the shooting was done by the once great Salon.com, who delivered a deep article that actually tried to present the human side of Weise. To their credit, they made a sincere attempt to answer some questions that nobody else even wanted to ask. As far as their presentation of Weise as a person, I think they nailed him as best they could with what they had. Political pressures, though, won the day. The article’s finishing page could not of course follow the findings through to the logical conclusion. Of course. But they tried more than anyone else.

Looking back, I wonder why they bothered. Salon.com even then flirted with extreme multicultural insanity, and Weise was an unabashed racist. Perhaps they gave him a fairer showing because even though he was a National Socialist, he himself was racially mixed. As always, the biases are so important. Or maybe the early net was a better place.

The worst analysis of the situation came from the conspiracy websites, some of whom insisted that he was a CIA plant and that Nazi.org was created specifically to set up a “false flag” event. Uh, no, Weise was a real person, a real teenager, and was not a part of any conspiracy, and it was an insult to everyone effected by the shooting to even suggest it. And neither was Nazi.org a front for anything; I knew who built that website and why and where it came from. It really offended me to read all of that.

Of course, you don’t correct anyone in these situations. Nobody Must Know. The whole thing was scary and I did not want to get put on some list in the FBI headquarters.

So I kept my mouth shut, which I’ll do forever. Except here.

My opinion regarding these school shootings is this, if anyone cares: the kids are terrorists, not murderers. The school shootings are politics by other means.

The shooters are not merely angry at bullies. You can tell because it’s rarely if ever that the bullies die in these shootings. And this explanation doesn’t make sense anyhow- if you wanted to kill a bully, go to his house and do it where you could have a 90% chance of success. Why do it at a crowded school with armed security guards?

The school shootings are political acts. They’re a furious howl against an extremely corrupt system. The problem isn’t bullies, its corruption, ignorance, and dishonesty within the system. The spiritual siblings of the school shooters are the suicide bombers of the Middle East.

It’s for this reason that the Columbine killers were so idolized by the alienated back then. I remember the stream of posts and messages I saw on the early boards praising Harris and Klebold for bravery. Their actions garnered a lot of respect from some quarters, and it isn’t hard to see why. Note that I don’t agree with the killers’ methods, or even their ideas, but I also think that you must respect those two on some level. How could you not? To many on the fringes back then, they were heroes and icons in the same way that the disaffected in the Middle East idolize suicide bombers. To many, Harris and Klebold weren’t nuts. They had a cause, however extreme, and were willing to fight and die for it. They weren’t crazy. They were just braver than 99.9999% of everyone else that hates the system. They were warriors.

Well, they were terrorists, actually. The same as the rest of the school shooters.

To drive the point home, one of the people once involved tangentially with a website I used to visit did indeed become a traditional terrorist. He renounced his past life as a Satanist, converted to Wahhabi Islam, joined up with an Al-Qaeda cell, and landed on the FBI’s Terrorist Threat List. Yikes. I never knew that guy, but had he gone to grad school instead, he could have just as easily become a school shooter. The ethos of an Al-Qaeda member and a nihilistic mass murderer isn’t all that different.

As an aside, a google search just told me that Weise’s old Newsgrounds videos are still up! Wow!

The comments to them are interesting… it’s weird to read them; they give him a kind of respect that he never had when he was alive, not even from the members of the boards he frequented. Nobody, to my knowledge, even read his stories through to the end except for me and possibly one or two others. Frankly, I don’t remember seeing any comments to his stories at all, positive or not. To see that today respectful comments are left continuously on his Newgrounds videos is quite jarring.

To me, the comments are a faint echo of what I heard back then about the Columbine killers. There’s a lot of respect in those comments from some very lost and very angry people. Justifiably angry people. Of course.

The cycle continues.