I suppose one more note on this… this is girlfriend stuff, so if we’re not dating, this probably isn’t for you.<\/p>\n
For my girlfriends: I think I remember the exact moment that I determined that Cady and I would have been better off… apart. <\/p>\n
It was when she told me so. <\/p>\n
Her song, “Oil and Water”. I mean, this is kind of a long story, here (pls read lyrics, this was basically the culmination of A LOT of internal drama between Cady and me at this point), but the lyrics and the accompanying video kinda made me feel like… I don’t know, she wanted it to be over. Like, she… loved me, incredibly deeply, and wanted to be with me, but… she wasn’t going to go for it.<\/p>\n
OK, I remember first seeing this. Cady and I had hit a rough patch in our relationship for a year or so before the release of the song. I mean, we were still together, but things weren’t as smooth as they used to be. And I think this song, and the video, was her way of trying to come to grips with the problems in our relationship. It was her way of processing. And I respect that.<\/p>\n
I respect that A LOT, actually. And perhaps I took it too literally. Maybe I thought she was actually saying to me “We are oil and water. We do not mix, we always separate”. And then, the video- her, in her wedding dress, without a groom. Which I thought was her way of saying to me “This is our future. Me, alone (without you)”.<\/p>\n
And then there was her engagement around that time, and then… and then…<\/p>\n
Oh.<\/p>\n
Oops.<\/p>\n
Yeah, ok. Wow.<\/p>\n
WOW.<\/p>\n
Holy fuck.<\/p>\n
Ohhhhhkay. Yeah. I think I get it, now.<\/p>\n
Oh man, oof.<\/p>\n
I should have known, lol. It wasn’t me that she was referring to. She was referring to her fiance at the time. She was telling him, in no uncertain terms, that she didn’t love him. That’s why the video of her alone without a husband… she was telling HIM, not me, to fuck off. Even if she didn’t realize it at the time.<\/p>\n
She wanted ME instead. That’s why she dumped him after I got spooked by all this.<\/p>\n
Oh.<\/p>\n
Okay.<\/p>\n
Wow.<\/p>\n
Maybe she herself didn’t understand this. I can see that, too. Maybe she thought she was directing it at me, and not at him. Maybe she was super confused, herself. I mean, at the time, I wondered. I was like… she doesn’t love him. Note how I mentioned before on here that I thought that that relationship was a fake, maybe for career purposes. Maybe though it wasn’t, and she just… never really loved him. Because she had ME.<\/p>\n
Maybe that’s why ex-fiance guy never mentioned anything after she passed on. Because he was bitter, angry. Because she loved me, not him. Because I was always her #1, until the end.<\/p>\n
………..<\/p>\n
Wow… I… I mean… this is just a hypothesis… right?<\/p>\n
Oh. <\/p>\n
Okay.<\/p>\n
Wow.<\/p>\n
Oh, man.<\/p>\n
It doesn’t matter. <\/p>\n
And maybe that’s why nobody else said too much of anything. Like, she was so wrapped up in my world that she was… mine. Like, ALL mine. Yes, that’s how I’m interpreting it.<\/p>\n
So. Alright, SHE’S MINE, then. Fine. Great. I’ll just tether her soul to me permanently and that’s that. Nice. Another familiar. And fuck everyone else. Because they don’t matter, that’s why. They never saw her beauty anyways.<\/p>\n
Seriously- fuck ’em. ALL of ’em. Even her friends. And her roommates. And even her FAMILY. Yeah, I said it. Fuck EVERYONE. You bitches can take a fucking hike, you are not wanted nor are you needed here, anymore. FUCK OFF.<\/p>\n
Yeah, so there. Cady gets the evil wizard, you bitches. ALL you bitches. So THERE.<\/p>\n
Hmmn… something tells me her and I would have gotten along juuuust fine IRL, lol. And damn it, now would be the time.<\/p>\n
FUCK. I mean I’m like ready to come out of my shell and everything!! Fuck. Cady, couldn’t you have held on just a LITTLE while longer? I mean, at least enough for me to get off the drugs, lol.<\/p>\n
Oh, who am I kidding. I would have been dead at this point had she not kicked the bucket first, lol. Oof, haha!!!!<\/p>\n
Ah, whatever.<\/p>\n
Ok, then. I think it’s settled. <\/p>\n
And yeah, I’m happy, and I don’t think it’s entirely the drugs this time, lol.<\/p>\n
God I’m such a fucking mess, haha. But that’s OK. Somehow, I think that that’s what she actually wanted, anyways, lol. I mean… I get it, lol. Yeah, she was a drama queen. Good, maybe that’s why I liked her, too. And maybe that’s why she secretly couldn’t stand that boring as fuck fiance of hers.<\/p>\n
Whatevs.<\/p>\n
K then, it’s all settled.<\/p>\n
Bitch is MINE.<\/p>\n
Nice.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I suppose one more note on this… this is girlfriend stuff, so if we’re not dating, this probably isn’t for you. For my girlfriends: I think I remember the exact moment that I determined that Cady and I would have been better off… apart. It was when she told me so. Her song, “Oil and […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3630"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3630"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3630\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3634,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3630\/revisions\/3634"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3630"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3630"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3630"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}