For those wondering why I haven\u2019t posted more stuff lately- meaning, in the last year of so- it\u2019s because I’ve been holding off. The political clown show captured too much of my attention.<\/p>\n
But- that\u2019s doesn’t mean I haven\u2019t written things. I have. I just haven\u2019t posted them.<\/p>\n
Yet.<\/p>\n
But, now that I have more time to do stuff\u2026 I think I will. So, here\u2019s a series of posts, from back in April, that I didn’t pull the trigger on then for various super cringy reasons. I’ll explain the drama at the end, along with my reasons for actually posting this now.<\/p>\n
So, without further adieu, here’s the Hollywood gossip of April 10, 2016, today.<\/p>\n
————————————————————-<\/p>\n
Celebrity Gossip of the Day<\/strong><\/p>\n OK, not really<\/i> celebrity. OK\u2026 actually, no, this fits, because I\u2019m involved, so I would be the celeb here.<\/p>\n I just found out this week that Annaleigh Ashford, one of the stars of HBO\u2019s Masters of Sex<\/i>, married my childhood best friend. <\/p>\n Yeah, I know. I KNOW. <\/p>\n Talk about getting the weird vibes, and ALL AT ONCE.<\/p>\n See, I almost once devoted myself to boffing every single chick on that show who had ever gotten naked, just to brag and show them who the real<\/i> “Master of Sex” was. Just for the experience of it.<\/p>\n So I of course started with the first episode, and targeted Annaleigh as my first girl because 1) she was cute, and 2) she had done the requisite nude scene, but\u2026 I held back, in the end. I almost<\/i> did it, and I wanted<\/i> to do it, but that damned psychic intuition of mine didn’t like the idea. It kept urging me away from doing so, because of some possible future weirdness that would be created from that\u2026 conquest. So I reluctantly agreed and from then on stayed away from every girl that ever appeared on that show. Just in case.<\/p>\n Now, I\u2019m glad I listened. Oy! I really dodged a bullet there, I guess. <\/p>\n It\u2019s fine when I boff people I don\u2019t know, or to whom I have no connection to. But when the personal starts to intrude, even slightly, things can get\u2026 complicated. And I like to avoid complications.<\/p>\n Don\u2019t get me wrong, Annaleigh\u2019s husband and I haven\u2019t spoken in decades, so nothing would have changed with me. Well, nothing except for me getting profoundly creeped out by the whole thing. <\/p>\n *Whew*<\/p>\n Celebrity Gossip of the Day, Part II<\/strong><\/p>\n I also once deigned to watch the show, or at least a token episode, to see what it was about, and if my own fantasies play a part in it, somehow. Even though of course they do. I mean, who else<\/i> would Masters of Sex<\/i> take inspiration from, really?<\/p>\n I\u2019m getting creepy vibes and images right now of Annaleigh and Joe from recess discussing my sex life in lurid, graphic detail. <\/p>\n AUGGHH!!!!!!!<\/p>\n ICKKK!!!!!!!!<\/p>\n Oy. This is something I\u2019d rather not know about, perhaps.<\/p>\n Celebrity Gossip of the Day, Part III<\/strong><\/p>\n Well, the previous post was funny, but in all seriousness, Joe, if you\u2019re actually reading this, congratulations. You got yourself a hell of a girl and a nice life to go with her.<\/p>\n I\u2019m glad it all worked out for you. Life\u2019s been kind to me, overall, since we parted. As I\u2019m sure you know, but\u2026 it\u2019s always nice to hear that firsthand.<\/p>\n BTW- craziness- I was going through some old stuff a few weeks ago and found one of the Valentine\u2019s Day cards we exchanged in class back then. I forgot what they even looked like (or that we even exchanged them, TBH), but there it was. It was this little 4\u201d x 3\u201d cardboard cutout with Dumbo on it and your printed name and a cute message on the back. The message: \u201cTo Tom, the best friend I\u2019ll ever have.\u201d<\/p>\n All together now: Awwwwww.<\/p>\n Anyhow- crazy. What a blast from the past!<\/p>\n I wasn’t sure of what to do with it, so I stuck it back in with my papers.<\/p>\n Well\u2026 if I ever decide to formally join the industry somehow, someday, maybe we\u2019ll meet again and exchange stories.<\/p>\n That might be fun.<\/p>\n Celebrity Gossip of the Day, Part IV<\/strong><\/p>\n I guess it’s true what they say. People with similar natures really do flock together. Wow.<\/p>\n ————————————————————-<\/p>\n Well, back to the present.<\/p>\n Perhaps I should have posted that back then, but I hesitated, I think because of my personal revelations. And because of the… oddness of it all.<\/p>\n Well, truth be told, I\u2019m glad I didn’t post this then because I need to say something else, now, that\u2019s equally as stupid and important as the earlier stuff.<\/p>\n The focal point of the new controversy: Annaleigh Ashford is Victoria Justice\u2019s costar in her new movie, a remake of Rocky Horror Picture Show<\/i>.<\/p>\n This isn’t bad, or even notable, except in that small way in which it is extremely so. See, now I wonder what Annaleigh and Victoria discussed on set, when nobody was there. Or, horror of horrors, when people were<\/i> there. And I wasn’t.<\/p>\n The fact that the new version of Rocky Horror<\/i> is quite obviously inspired by my wanton sexual proclivities with my… wife of 7 years, Victoria herself, should<\/i> interest me, and it does, me being me, but\u2026 there\u2019s that thing<\/i>. And I just can\u2019t help but think<\/i> about it.<\/p>\n See, Vicky is obviously hot in said movie. Any look at the promo materials will tell you that. I mean, Jeezus, there\u2019s been like a dozen scenes of her being semi-naked released onto the net already, and the movie hasn’t even premiered<\/i> yet.<\/p>\n Hmmm.<\/p>\n Another thought: am I really that much of a control freak? So much so that such a ridiculous concern should be such a sticking point in my enjoyment of seeing my partner of 7 years now succeed in the way that she\u2019s always wanted to?<\/p>\n Hmmm… Perhaps. What would Joe think, I wonder?<\/p>\n AUUGGGHH<\/p>\n Never mind.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" For those wondering why I haven\u2019t posted more stuff lately- meaning, in the last year of so- it\u2019s because I’ve been holding off. The political clown show captured too much of my attention. But- that\u2019s doesn’t mean I haven\u2019t written things. I have. I just haven\u2019t posted them. Yet. 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