I think it’s time to talk about something I was pushing away for awhile.<\/p>\n
Let’s talk Crybaby<\/em>. <\/p>\n Alright, here goes.<\/p>\n This is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite musicians. Cady Groves. You may have heard of her, lol. Probably here, first, before anywhere else if you’re not in the entertainment biz. But I’ve loved this song since I first heard it on her soundcloud a loooooong time ago. I wrote about it first some five years ago, when I awarded it “Song of the Day” in a silly post here, search for it to find it. And I quoted the lyrics in Part IV of this series. I wanted to get into their meaning then, but… couldn’t.<\/p>\n So… now’s the time.<\/p>\n The lyrics:<\/p>\n You only want me when I\u2019m done Somehow I always But what if I took your records How many lies will I believe I took your records (Cry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y)<\/p>\n But what if I took your records It’s mean. Yes, that’s what it is. Mean. Very cruel, nasty. I can see that now. Very hurtful. Mocking, insulting. She makes fun of… everything, of me. How I feel, how I cry, how I express myself. I didn’t see it then, but now I do. My life, as a whole. It’s dismissive, rude, patronizing, and ugly.<\/p>\n It’s a good song. But it’s a mean one, one that cuts deep to the core. She really knew, perhaps more than anyone else, how to trigger me, and this is something of her way of driving the knife in, deep, past the point where I could do anything about it. It’s a suicide note in song form. An expression of rage. About how I treated her, and what she thought of… us.<\/p>\n I don’t know how else to look at this. <\/p>\n I don’t think there’s any other interpretation of these lyrics that makes sense. And, coming from anyone else, it wouldn’t matter. I wouldn’t have cared. But Cady- as I said, she was special. Coming from her, it… works. She was the one that I “let in” the most. The one I was most fond of, even when I wasn’t with her. As I said above, even when we weren’t together, I always listened to her music. I still do, which I guess is part of the reason I’m having trouble getting beyond this.<\/p>\n But yeah, ouch. Jeebus, this cuts deep, lol. <\/p>\n Why ohhhhh why, Cady? <\/p>\n There, lol. You see? Whyyyyy whyyyy whyyyyy, right? It’s just so mean<\/em>. <\/p>\n I think it’s a matter of respect. I respected her more than pretty much anyone else I’ve been with. I think that’s why it digs so deep. Anyone else? Nahhhhh, probably not. But her yeah. I listened to her soo much for this not to work.<\/p>\n “Crybaby”. Or as it comes out in the song- “Cry, baby, cry!” Right, Cady. Sure Cady, I’ll cry my eyes out for you again. Fuck you, you bitch. <\/p>\n I mean, I’m sorry, but still, fuck you, anyways. You knew what you were doing, to me. And I was too dumb to see it, I don’t know why. Maybe because I really am like you thought I was. “What if I stole your innocence, like you stole mine”. Right. Fuck you, cunt.<\/p>\n You just… can’t answer this. She’s dead. There’s no comeback that works, no matter what I write here.<\/p>\n That’s what a lot of her songs are like, past Kelly’s death. Great, inspired music, but also… with an undercurrent of bitterness and resentfulness, especially maybe to me. <\/p>\n I wanted to protect her soooooo badly, maybe too badly, maybe because of this. I mean I could feel <\/em>it. I couldn’t see it, I mean I really couldn’t until she died, but I could pick up on her lyrics’ undercurrents.<\/p>\n She was… damaged, and not fake damaged, like some pop stars’ affections. And then there’s me, with that dumb male impulse to protect women. Sigh<\/em>. I guess there’s a reason why some guys make it a policy to not pursue damaged chicks. Dumb me.<\/p>\n Maybe I shouldn’t have. Maybe she wasn’t good for me… except when she so was. I don’t know.<\/p>\n But what if I took your records … wow. I mean, what do I even say <\/em>to this? <\/p>\n Nothing.<\/p>\n That’s what. Because there is nothing left to say. At least, to her.<\/p>\n Am I truly like her, now? Like the lyrics want me to be? Is she happy that she made me hurt like she did? Is that it? I… hope not.<\/p>\n Cady I know you can read this. You know, I still love you, you know. I mean, even though you’re dead. I’ll keep on doing that unless, maybe I decided you weren’t right for me and I have no choice but to leave you, just for my own sake. I don’t know. I just really don’t want you gone, that’s all.<\/p>\n Sigh<\/em>… Dumb me. Talking to a dead girl, again. Dumb, dumb dumb.<\/p>\n I need to think.<\/p>\n And not about this.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I think it’s time to talk about something I was pushing away for awhile. Let’s talk Crybaby. Alright, here goes. This is one of my favorite songs from one of my favorite musicians. Cady Groves. You may have heard of her, lol. Probably here, first, before anywhere else if you’re not in the entertainment biz. 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\nYou only break me when I\u2019m whole again
\nYou\u2019re only right because I\u2019m wrong
\nI only stay until I\u2019m gone again<\/p>\n
\nSomehow I always give in
\nIt seems like you always
\nSeems like you always win<\/p>\n
\nTook all your time
\nAnd what if I stole your innocence
\nLike you stole mine
\nAnd what if I spend your money
\nEvery dime
\nYou\u2019ll be just like me
\nSo cry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y<\/p>\n
\nUntil we cycle through the dark again
\nI know that you\u2019ll be the death of me
\nBut baby what if, you tell me what if<\/p>\n
\nTook all your time
\nAnd what if I stole your innocence
\nLike you stole mine
\nAnd what if I spend your money
\nEvery dime
\nYou\u2019ll be just like me
\nSo cry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y<\/p>\n
\nTook all your time (I took all your time)
\nAnd what if i stole your innocence
\nLike you stole mine (cause you stole mine)
\nAnd what if spend your money
\nEvery dime
\nYou\u2019ll be just like me (you\u2019ll be just like me)
\nSo cry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (crrryyyyyyy)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (won\u2019t you cry for me, won\u2019t you cry for me)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (cause you stole mine)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (won\u2019t you cry for me, won\u2019t you cry for me)<\/em><\/p>\n
\nTook all your time (I took all your time)
\nAnd what if i stole your innocence
\nLike you stole mine (cause you stole mine)
\nAnd what if spend your money
\nEvery dime
\nYou\u2019ll be just like me (you\u2019ll be just like me)
\nSo cry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (crrryyyyyyy)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (won\u2019t you cry for me, won\u2019t you cry for me)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (cause you stole mine)
\nCry baby cry, why-y-y why-y-y why-y-y (won\u2019t you cry for me, won\u2019t you cry for me)<\/em><\/p>\n