Oh yes, thank you so much, lol. Oh god yes, that is what I need. I’m “normal” now.<\/p>\n
The mere prospect of not having this stuff in my veins is just utterly terrifying to me, lol. It’s like it sends me into some ungodly tailspin. I mean the THOUGHT of not having it is just… scarier than anything I could possibly think of.<\/p>\n
It’s just so POWERFULLY needed, and… life without it seems to almost be not real. It seems to be… not… natural. It’s not real life, anymore. Real life is fentanyl, to me. Without it is like some kind of alien world.<\/p>\n
So yeah, I’m back into the protective bubble that I need to be in to feel myself. Like, this is OK. I’m OK. This is not a problem. Thank you.<\/p>\n
Yes this is not an issue, anymore. I have everything under control…<\/p>\n
So…<\/p>\n
No problem, then. Right.<\/p>\n
Yeah.<\/p>\n
Right.<\/p>\n
Like… no way is anyone prying fentanyl from my hands, while I’m alive. No way, no way is that going to happen. I will fight and kill for this stuff. No problem, I need it, I will get it. No matter the consequences. Because the drug “speaks” to me, and I love it, and it loves me.<\/p>\n
So, then, that’s that. Right. <\/p>\n
A marriage made in heaven.<\/p>\n
Yeah.<\/p>\n
Right…<\/p>\n
Right.<\/p>\n
I mean, just to re-iterate, for like the millionth time…<\/p>\n
NO WAY CAN I EVER GIVE THIS STUFF UP, EVER, FOR ANY REASON. I WILL KILL FOR THIS. I WILL KILL FOR IT, SO DON’T ANYONE PUSH ME.<\/p>\n
Ahhhhhhh yeah but I know that this is bad, lol, but still, that’s just how it is…<\/p>\n
Ah god, I need MORE tho. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK<\/p>\n
Ahhhh FUCK.<\/p>\n
This is not… FUCK.<\/p>\n
Fuck you, world. lol<\/p>\n
Seriously.<\/p>\n
I just want to scream, really, really loudly. So loud it could shatter glass. God damn I’m scared of being off this stuff, lol. But I’m so scared of being on it, too. I mean I can’t LIVE like this, lol.<\/p>\n
I’m… not… thinking about this now, though. No way. No chance.<\/p>\n
Fuck you, world.<\/p>\n
Ah, god I just want to fucking puke.<\/p>\n
This is nowhere near enough. Not even close. Not even remotely.<\/p>\n
Fuck you, Tom.<\/p>\n
Ahhhh…<\/p>\n
Ughk.<\/p>\n
Fuck.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Oh yes, thank you so much, lol. Oh god yes, that is what I need. I’m “normal” now. The mere prospect of not having this stuff in my veins is just utterly terrifying to me, lol. It’s like it sends me into some ungodly tailspin. I mean the THOUGHT of not having it is just… […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":[],"categories":[1],"tags":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3908"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3908"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3908\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3909,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3908\/revisions\/3909"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3908"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3908"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/sighinide.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3908"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}