Okay so… WHY do I want to cut myself? Why am I so depressed? Why do I feel like this now? Why am I ALWAYS feeling like this now?<\/p>\n
I feel like I’m being used. No- I AM being used. I connect with people, work on their problems with them, try to help them, and then… nothing. They take my advice and use it to better themselves while working to ruin my future. Not all of them, of course, but ALOT of them do this. They use my advice and the confidence that I give them to suck their own country dry of all of it’s money and resources, thus impoverishing myself and everyone else. And they do this while plotting even more terrible things. And if these plans don’t work? Why, they’ll just leave, of course! Why would they stay to help clean up the horrible, nightmarish disasters that they’ve created?<\/p>\n
Okay, that’s it. I’m done. DONE. I feel like a prostitute. No- at least prostitutes get money and compliments. I get nothing but a ruined future and a hole in my heart. I feel, honestly, like a sex slave.<\/p>\n
I\u2019m tired of being in relationships with people that I now suspect never really liked me or respected me that much in the first place. I want to be with someone without feeling like I should just kill myself because I had sex with them.<\/p>\n
I think I deserve that. I don\u2019t know, maybe I don\u2019t. Maybe I\u2019m just a big drama queen who has nothing to offer the world besides empty sex. I mean, I don\u2019t THINK that\u2019s the case. But if it is, then maybe I should just stick to fucking people that despise me. At least that way I\u2019ll bring some happiness, however fleeting, into this gloomy world.<\/p>\n
Or maybe I need to focus on the others. Katherine McNamara will never make me feel bad after seeing her. Ever. That will never ever happen. Ditto for Sammi Hanratti and Kira Kosarin and Stephanie Scott, and even Audrey Whitby. I had so many good relationships that I put on hold, or didn\u2019t even start<\/i>, because I wanted to \u201csave\u201d people who only cared about their bank accounts and didn\u2019t even want to be helped. Ugh. <\/p>\n
Truthfully, I\u2019ve come to the realization that the near totality of American celebrities over the age of 30 are damaged goods. The adage \u201cYou shall know them by the company they keep\u201d is very true.<\/p>\n
If you support and promote brainless criminals like Obama and his accomplices, if your cultural world consists of the \u201cauthenticity\u201d of the illiterate thugs of hip-hop, if you hang out with New York\u2019s fraud kingpins, you yourself are likely a criminal and a big part of the reason why the world spits on American culture and \u201cleadership\u201d today.<\/p>\n
So- honestly? FUCK. YOU.<\/p>\n
ENOUGH. <\/p>\n
Whatever it takes- no more thoughts of suicide. No more thoughts of self- harm. NONE.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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