Sighinide

I’ve been thinking. I need something. Something to counteract the boringness and bleakness of my day to day existence. A girl, perhaps.

She should be tall enough to complement my height, but not too tall. I want someone a bit shorter than me- say, 5′ 10″ to my 6′ 3″. That would be perfect.

I want her to be fit, but not too fit. No bodybuilders. Just someone fit enough to jump around a bit when the need requires it.

I want a girl with blond hair and blue eyes to match mine, and I want her to match my sensibilities. She should be Midwestern but with a coastal flavor. Someone from, say, Pennsylvania would be nice.

I want her to like folksy, conservative stuff like me, but I also want her to like dance music as much as I do. Dancing is fun.

I want her to be a performer, too. I love performing and I need a partner to perform with. It would create such a nice groundwork for a stable, lasting relationship. It would be perfect.

Also, I would like a girl that could provide me with a bit of financial stability. That’s such a necessity in these troubled and unpredictable times.

Now that I’ve explicated what I need, where will I EVER find such a girl?  Who the hell knows, that’s where!  Apparently nobody that *I* know fits the bill!

Ohhhhh well. Maybe I’m just destined to live a life lonely and crotchety. You know, like that one country singer pop star girl that hangs out with her cat all day. What’s her name again? Beats me!

I hope a tsunami hits Rhode Island.

is just perfect. I mean, she really and truly is. Thoughts of her make me so warm and happy.

She is lovely and amazing and wonderful and effervescent and beautiful and precious. Thank GOD that guy she was hanging out with on instagram is gay. I thought he was her boyfriend!!! Ugh. Thank GOD.

*sigh*.

I kind of wonder why I haven’t been all over her over and over and over. I think it’s ’cause I’m freaked out by how much I’m in love with her.

I love her smile. I love her fit figure. I love her silky smooth soft blackened hair. I love her attitude. I love her sweet and lovely laugh. I love her indulgently milky skin. I love her cute eyes. I love her caterpillar eyebrows. I love her everything and then some.

*SQUEEEEE*

I mean, don’t get me wrong, one day I’ll destroy her and everything she believes in. But until then, SHE’S MINE!!!

I DO – NOT – LIKE – TAYLOR – SWIFT.

I Do NOT like her. Nor have I EVER liked her. And furthermore, I can’t believe that people ever thought that I did. How preposterous. How ridiculous! How nonsensical!

It’s unbelievable how much people mentally contort themselves in their efforts to make our non-existent relationship a reality. It’s ludicrous, and it shows how little people have to think about today.

UGH.

Whatever. Tay (Or whatever she’s called) isn’t a part of my plans or my life. And she has NEVER been.

She’s just… a person. I might like her in the future or whatever, but I certainly don’t now. I hope she has fun doing whatever it is that she does during the day. Not that I care what that is.