Sighinide

*shrug*

Honestly, IDK. I guess I need to blog about this regularly but I mean, christ, I’m bored.

IDK.

I’m… not the person I was 20 years ago, lol. Back then, or even 10 years ago, I made it a mission to sleep with 2, 3, 4 or more girls, every day, in order to keep things running smoothly. I think I blogged about this before, at various points. I think it was the “running an empire” stuff that used to fascinate me so much.

Since then I’ve been slowly but surely winding down the time I spend doing sexual things with my girlfriends. I think that now on average I do something once per day. I might do something twice on one day, or not at all on another, but overall, I think the average is once, daily. And even then I’m having to struggle to remember, sometimes. I’ve become so distant with this stuff that sometimes people feel a need to remind me, I guess because they think I’ve forgotten about them, or something.

IDK. Am I just getting older? Or what?

IDK.

Honestly, it’s just so boring. There is very little out there anymore that is truly interesting to me.

Taylor Swift is on tour, and wow, that just… could not interest me less. I keep forgetting, honestly. It’s just… boring, all of it. Everything I’ve seen from her new tour is just a “meh”, or worse, ugly and nasty, like… you know, that one video. The one before the tour. Whatever the case, I’m not bothering to even look into it, anymore.

I’m really struggling to find any new girls interesting enough to sleep with. I just don’t find them interesting on any level. I mean, pretty, yes. Interesting? No.

Fifteen years ago I would probably be banging Jenna Ortega on a weekly basis. Now? Nah. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever touched her, and I might actually never even get around to it. Same with… IDK, everyone else, lol.

I’m just really, reeeeeeally bored. Like, crushingly, brutally bored. I’m so bored that I can’t even find the energy to pretend to be interested, anymore. There’s just… nothing out there that is interesting. Pretty? Yes, there are many pretty girls out there. But that’s it, they’re just pretty.

TBH, I can see my interest in this stuff waning further, with time. It’ll be a reality one day that I do something once every other day, perhaps, and then, even less frequently. It’s life, I guess.

I still have to get around to saving the new pictures from the recent Oscars ceremony. I keep forgetting to do so. But… yeah.

To be blunt, I think the only thing that might serve to make me interested again is seeing something not public, i.e. like the stuff that I’ve heard exists elsewhere, “sets” and such, of people. But I’ve still no idea where such things can be found or how to get them, or even if they exist, like at all.

You know, like those ones that we saw during the “fappening” seven years ago or whatever.

Something like that might make me more interested, but I’ve no clue where to find any of that stuff, or even who can point me in the right direction to do so, so… *shrug*.

I’m just really, really bored. What I need is something material, something real, to get me interested again. Without that, there is nothing to… do anything with.

As it stands right now, I think I’m just going to have to cleave off a bunch of relationships, mostly because… IDK. I mean, it’s not like they did anything wrong, I guess (or did they? And if they did, does that even matter? Or… whatever, honestly) but just because I literally can’t get it up for them anymore, at all, for any circumstances. There’s just nothing there.

I’m not going to waste time figuring out who, at this point. It’ll just happen naturally.

But yeah, I think I summarized things well here. I need to plot out my future, and for that, and to do future things, I’ll need save my energy and direct it towards such planning.

Ugh, well, that it for this essay, which I honestly hated writing, since it was so fucking boring to even discuss this crap. But, I feel like I have to do it, so…

Blah. Well, I’m not going to be with anyone today. I think I’ll just exercise again and go to bed. Or maybe read a book, or something.

Or maybe both.

Yeah, both, I think. That sounds interesting.

I’ve been tweeting a bit lately and enjoying it, so why not blog something, too. It’s been awhile it seems. My last post here was on the first of the month, wow.

Uhm, well, I don’t have much to say right now. I mean, I do, it’s just… almost midnight, and I’m getting a little tired. I mean, I actually do have a lot to say, it’s just that… IDK, I’ve been busy I guess. Or maybe the stuff is too important and I don’t know how to start talking about it, or… IDK.

Well, you have to start somewhere, lol.

I guess my random laugh of the day, aside from the twitter nonsense, was the… chuckle(?) I got from realizing that one of the new exercises I’ve been doing this year, Kang Squats, are called… Kang Squats. Yes, Kang Squats. Like the Marvel character. You know, the one in the new Kathryn movie.

I laughed, yes, because of the name. It’s like… IDK, while doing them I got an image in my head of doing Thanos Presses, or Galactus Curls. I was like… wut, lol. Yes, I literally laughed because of the name.

Not my proudest moment, lol.

Speaking of Marvel… IDK about the new movie, TBH. I’ll probably watch it of course if for no other reason than to see Kathy, but still, people just don’t seem as enamored with this one as the prior major entries in the franchise. IDK, since I missed most of those.

I have been watching the hell out of the old Marvel cartoons on Disney+, tho. The 90’s ones. Those are really good. I saw most of them as a teen back when they first aired but I’ve forgotten them since, so this is basically like a fresh watch, and they’re a lot of fun. The plots are simple for the most part. Bad guys try to wreak havoc, good guys stop them before the allotted time runs out. But beneath the simplicity of the outlay is some depth.

The world building in these shows is superb. The creativity is obvious, and the visuals are pretty nice, too, and sometimes even excellent.

And they have the old comic style to them that I like. I’m not a fan of mixing political commentary with superheroes-in-tights fight scenes. There is a real optimism in the style, and the characters, even the bad guys, are uniformly pleasant to watch. And there’s nothing inserted within the shows to be purposefully annoying, which is very nice. And the colors are bright, and it’s easy at all times to tell who’s who and who is doing what and why.

A lot of people are rejecting the new Marvel stuff because it apparently lacks everything I mentioned above. The CGI is everywhere and it’s too complicated to understand, the characters are too complicated, the plots are too complicated, there’s too much politics, too much annoying shit, etc. And I’ve heard people talk about the heroes not being “heroic” enough, to the point where they don’t even wear their costumes as much as they should, and other stuff. IDK, because I’ve haven’t seen almost all of the new movies. And there’s too much darkness. Not in style, but as in literally, like people need to turn the lights on.

I’m just staying away from it, same as I’m staying away from everything new from Star Trek/Wars and DC, etc. Honestly, I’m a middle aged man. I’m too old to be impressed with any “deep” political commentary delivered by someone standing in front of an obvious green screen wearing a rubber mask and neon colored tights.

90’s Marvel is good stuff, tho. I like the shows and will continue to watch them.

The crown jewel of them all seems to be the Silver Surfer series. That is a very good series, much smarter and more poignant than the others. Also better written, and it has the best visuals of them all.

Watching that show I was really impressed. Every episode seemed to be a study on mind control, and also on the importance of memory and purpose. Very interesting stuff.

I’m midway through Iron Man and Fantastic Four now. Good stuff. Fun to watch. Fantastic Four in particular has a strong Silver Age vibe I’m digging.

Watching these series I was struck also with how much their content has been leached by others. I’ve seen characters, situations and visuals that were copied directly from these series by Japanese manga artists and anime shows, for instance.

Maybe these series are underrated in general.

In other news… love makes you do weird stuff. I spent forty five minutes today looking for an online copy of Stefanie Scott’s old E.P., New Girl in Town. She removed it from her Spotify. I just… wanted to hear it, again. Not sure why, I guess it’s just because it was by Stefanie Scott.

I couldn’t find any of it, anywhere. I did tho find an old copy on one of my external drives. I can see why she removed it; it wouldn’t fit at all with her current image. Honestly, it wouldn’t even fit in with current Disney, which is… kinda baffling, honestly. I mean, the company, not the situation. Or maybe I mean both.

Yeah tho, love does make you do weird stuff for sure. I might be the only 40+ year old man on Earth to listen to that EP this year, or even this decade. It’s old Disney kid stuff that was pretty obscure even upon release. This wasn’t Selena Gomez and the Scene or Demi Lovato, for sure.

IDK, I guess I just love the sound of her voice, or something. Like it makes me feel comfortingly happy. I mean, even though it doesn’t even sound like her at all in the way she talks or sings now, but still… IDK.

Love is a weird thing. Almost inexplicable sometimes.

You know- I need to get out more. I think I’m nursing an epic case of cabin fever, here. I’ll make it a point to do so this year.

In regards to the pushups, I still have the problem of there not being enough space on the offer. It’s like… I’m a tall guy, much taller than average, and I have long arms for my height. And the rooms I have to work with are small, and have a lot of furniture.

I’m kinda stuck, then. It’s like… I can do them, but, I have to worry about bonking my head or elbows on something, and I have to think about how to get up off the ground, and it’s an awful pain.

For the pilates, the unused bed in the guest room will suffice. I mean, there is literally nowhere else for me to do them, lol.

IDK

I need a space to gather some thoughts here on this, so uh… here.

I actually took a couple months off from exercising, believe it or not. I mean, except for like… sporadic stuff. IDK, maybe I wasn’t feeling well. It’s possible. That… illness, or whatever, was never formally diagnosed, and it seemed to come and go as it pleased.

But nevertheless, this year has been much much better than previous ones. I still think I might have fixed things by killing the you-know-whats, so good.

But I still took a lot of time off. I do this sporadically, and TBH it seems to help things in the long term. That way when I go back to working out I do so with a fresh eye. It allows me to re-consider things and to cleanly re-draw the map, so to speak.

Every year I add more… stuff, to the routines I do, and this year is no different. I’ve added a handful of squat variations to my basic dumbbell routine, which should make the onboarding process to the hallowed pistol squats a little easier. Because Christ, those things are tough. I still can’t get even close to a good form with those. I need to some transitionary exercises, and the ones I’ve added should suffice.

I also filled in a few gaps in my basic dumbbell routine, things like overhead shrugs, etc. What I’m trying to do here (and, I think, have successfully done), is to hit every muscle, basically, from my neck to my ankles, with three or four basic dumbbell exercises. To execute, I do the whole routine in one fell swoop, for a grand cardio… experience. A true whole body routine, with those comfortable, contoured PVC dumbbells I love so much. It’s a lot of fun.

That’s the standing dumbbell routine. For the laying down one, what I’m doing now is a complete routine- presses, scapula presses, flys, triceps stuff, etc, and everything else. And then, I’m doing it over again, with a pilates twist, by re-doing everything with my feet and legs elevated in the air. And then, I’m doing it all over yet again, in the bridge position. Not with heavy weights, lol. Just those PVC things. Hilariously weird but it works, the pilates style stuff and the bridge routine I do to increase my core strength, since I guess I’ve figured out the next step in my pilates stuff, too.

For the pilates, my long term goal is to incorporate a variety of bridge-based leg lifts, circles, and other types of exercises, but I don’t quite have hip strength, yet. Hence the dumbbell stuff I discussed above. They will serve as a… bridge, lol, to doing those.

Also this year I’m doing incline pilates exercises, too, by propping myself up and doing leg circles, lifts, corkscrews, butterflys etc. at an incline, which is… different, IDK. It’s much harder, in some ways. I’m still doing the traditional stuff too, of course.

All of this pilates stuff is now being done because all of the traditional exercises are too easy. I’ve mastered stuff like oblique V-ups, for instance. There’s no challenge there anymore, so I need to go hunting again. I mean, you know.

For now I’m nixing the pushups and doing isometrics instead, since those are more fun. Fun is a key element, here. Pushups just aren’t… fun, lol. So I’ll do them some other time. Maybe I’ll wait on those and finish the bridge stuff and the squat stuff first, IDK. That should make them easier anyhow.

I mean, any guy who can do a pistol squat should be able to do pushups easy too, right?

I mean, IDK, lol. I guess we’ll see.

I still have “noodle arms”, though, as was pointed out in Frenemies. I mean… IDK.

It’s kinda weird, honestly. My arms are still spindly looking but oddly enough I’m confident that I’m stronger than 99% of the adult population out there. It’s strange. I mean, when I go out and look around, I often struggle to find anybody, really, that I suspect could match me in terms of overall strength, despite how my arms look, lol.

There is always that one guy, though, for sure, lol.

It’s a good thing that my exercise goals so closely match those of my girlfriends. There’s a kind of serendipity there for sure.

I’m not sure I’ve talked about this much but I also do face exercises- the facial yoga stuff that is popular with women, chiefly. I like that stuff, too. I make it a point to work out every muscle on my face regularly. Like… seriously, lol. I have them all catalogued, and have been cobbling together my facial exercise routine for something like 15 years now, off and on. I hit everything, including the eyes. It’s a lot of fun, sometimes, which is I guess kinda the theme here.

I wish pushups were more fun, lol. I mean, you have to get down on the carpet and it’s dirty down there and kinda dusty and… you know.

So, yeah. The long term goal here is to, by the end of this year, perfect my bridge dumbbell exercises, incorporate a variety of bridge based exercises into my pilates routine, perfect my incline pilates exercises, and, maybe, do a full pistol squat, with good form.

Maybe the pushups will wait for next year. IDK. I will continue with isometrics though for sure.

Ok, good, then. For this little corner of my life I got a plan going.