Relationship Stuff, 3-30-2023

*shrug*

Honestly, IDK. I guess I need to blog about this regularly but I mean, christ, I’m bored.

IDK.

I’m… not the person I was 20 years ago, lol. Back then, or even 10 years ago, I made it a mission to sleep with 2, 3, 4 or more girls, every day, in order to keep things running smoothly. I think I blogged about this before, at various points. I think it was the “running an empire” stuff that used to fascinate me so much.

Since then I’ve been slowly but surely winding down the time I spend doing sexual things with my girlfriends. I think that now on average I do something once per day. I might do something twice on one day, or not at all on another, but overall, I think the average is once, daily. And even then I’m having to struggle to remember, sometimes. I’ve become so distant with this stuff that sometimes people feel a need to remind me, I guess because they think I’ve forgotten about them, or something.

IDK. Am I just getting older? Or what?

IDK.

Honestly, it’s just so boring. There is very little out there anymore that is truly interesting to me.

Taylor Swift is on tour, and wow, that just… could not interest me less. I keep forgetting, honestly. It’s just… boring, all of it. Everything I’ve seen from her new tour is just a “meh”, or worse, ugly and nasty, like… you know, that one video. The one before the tour. Whatever the case, I’m not bothering to even look into it, anymore.

I’m really struggling to find any new girls interesting enough to sleep with. I just don’t find them interesting on any level. I mean, pretty, yes. Interesting? No.

Fifteen years ago I would probably be banging Jenna Ortega on a weekly basis. Now? Nah. I honestly don’t think I’ve ever touched her, and I might actually never even get around to it. Same with… IDK, everyone else, lol.

I’m just really, reeeeeeally bored. Like, crushingly, brutally bored. I’m so bored that I can’t even find the energy to pretend to be interested, anymore. There’s just… nothing out there that is interesting. Pretty? Yes, there are many pretty girls out there. But that’s it, they’re just pretty.

TBH, I can see my interest in this stuff waning further, with time. It’ll be a reality one day that I do something once every other day, perhaps, and then, even less frequently. It’s life, I guess.

I still have to get around to saving the new pictures from the recent Oscars ceremony. I keep forgetting to do so. But… yeah.

To be blunt, I think the only thing that might serve to make me interested again is seeing something not public, i.e. like the stuff that I’ve heard exists elsewhere, “sets” and such, of people. But I’ve still no idea where such things can be found or how to get them, or even if they exist, like at all.

You know, like those ones that we saw during the “fappening” seven years ago or whatever.

Something like that might make me more interested, but I’ve no clue where to find any of that stuff, or even who can point me in the right direction to do so, so… *shrug*.

I’m just really, really bored. What I need is something material, something real, to get me interested again. Without that, there is nothing to… do anything with.

As it stands right now, I think I’m just going to have to cleave off a bunch of relationships, mostly because… IDK. I mean, it’s not like they did anything wrong, I guess (or did they? And if they did, does that even matter? Or… whatever, honestly) but just because I literally can’t get it up for them anymore, at all, for any circumstances. There’s just nothing there.

I’m not going to waste time figuring out who, at this point. It’ll just happen naturally.

But yeah, I think I summarized things well here. I need to plot out my future, and for that, and to do future things, I’ll need save my energy and direct it towards such planning.

Ugh, well, that it for this essay, which I honestly hated writing, since it was so fucking boring to even discuss this crap. But, I feel like I have to do it, so…

Blah. Well, I’m not going to be with anyone today. I think I’ll just exercise again and go to bed. Or maybe read a book, or something.

Or maybe both.

Yeah, both, I think. That sounds interesting.

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