Sighinide

Alright, let’s think more a bit about Harry Potter.

Harry Potter is a very, very tough puzzle to put together. There are so many crazy strands here going in so many different directions that a proper mapping of them all would take years- and I haven’t even read the books.

Just the obvious stuff is enough to cause a lot of puzzlement. The Potter wikia reveals that Harry and I are the same age, and the prophecy of Voldemort’s downfall involved a boy born in July, 1980. I was born in February, of course.

Similar, but not the same- although I recently looked through my old pictures of me in my youth and I did look quite a lot like Potter, down to the glasses, and the infamous scar. Well, ok. And I did do that snake- talking thing Potter did, too, although in my case it was with a komodo dragon. Both occurrences were in a zoo, of course.

Thinking now, I looked more than “quite a lot” like Potter. I was extremely similar to him in appearance when I was a kid. Also in personality. And, I guess, in social class, geographic differences notwithstanding.

Yeah, weird.

Potter has a telepathic connection with Tom- Tom Riddle, Lord Voldemort. Not Tom Jacobsen. … I think. Maybe.

Tom Riddle hated Hermione, I love Emma Watson. She literally is probably my all time favorite. I guess that’s your difference. I guess, but geez, what a tiny world we are navigating in, here.

Of course I fantasized about wizards when I was young. Brits, too, often, since I watched lots of PBS with my parents. Did I ever combine the two? Beats me; I don’t remember, although I suppose it is very, very possible. I just don’t remember, although…

wait.

Yes, actually. Yes I did. Kinda? I don’t know. But I… I don’t know. I mean I’m trying to remember it and something is there on the tip of my mind but I just don’t know if it fits. I mean… it can’t, based on what I’m remembering. Can it? Kinda? I don’t know.

Damn it, I just don’t know.

I mean certainly I didn’t dream up that whole world and all of the stuff in it, of course, but the concepts, I mean… I… I don’t know.

Could I have? Maybe I combined my own memories of school, my love for wizardry, British stuff I got from Masterpiece Theatre, and came up with something like Potter, and that was used as a basis for… at least some of it?

Kinda?

IDK, but there is an interesting line from the last Potter flick, when Harry and Tom are dueling. Potter says “Come on Tom, let’s finish this the way we started it- together!” before grabbing him and launching the both of them off a ledge at Hogwarts.

Go to about 2:55 here.

Well… you know what I said about some movies using the names “Tom” “Jake”, etc. as surreptitious ways to break the third wall and address me directly? Is this perhaps one of those times? I don’t know. Maybe.

I wonder.

I wish I knew.

Hmmn… you know…

Nah. This is for another day.

Holy Jeebus.

Alright, just checked out a few clips from Disney’s Hercules, from 1997.

You know how I talked on this blog a few times about the influence that Greek mythology had on me as a kid? When I was young, before I had access to Hollywood, the Greek myths were my fantasy world of choice.

Ohhkay, then. Just watching the first two minutes of Hercules brought back a literal wealth of memories. Geez, unreal. What? Okay, another coincidence? No, I think not. Wayyyy too direct, here. Way too pointed and shockingly… obvious.

Okay, then.

When this flick was released I was in high school and still in my “too cool for kid’s stuff” phase so I missed it, of course. So, yeah, checking it out now is kind of blowing my mind. It’s like reliving my old daydreams. Un-fucking-real.

Wow. Utterly wow.

Well… wow. Incredible.

Wow.

And yes, Hercules was my favorite character from the myths. I must have read and reread his stories dozens of times in reading classes. I also came up with my own adventures, of course. I invented my own mythologies using the gods, demigods, and other assorted characters from the myths. And it seems that with Hercules, that’s what you’re seeing.

But, I’m sure you already knew that. Hell, whoever is reading these things probably knows more about what I read and fantasized about back then than I do.

Wow.

Unreal.

Hmmn.

Uhm… wow, ok.

Wow.

Still trying to process some of this stuff- this complex, intricate, very confusing yet awesome and incredibly weird but great and monumentally historic and… odd, stuff.

So… you know, I stopped watching Disney Channel sometime before junior high, which in these parts of the country is 7th grade.

So I missed some stuff. A lot of stuff, actually. Pretty much everything released from like 1992 to like…, IDK, 2008, or something, when I started crushing hard on Demi. Was that 2008? It might have been 2007, or so.

IDK.

Ok, so, let’s get to the chase here. The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes, about a teen who “connects” to the internet with his mind- was that me? I remember my friends talking about it but I never watched it myself, thinking at the time that I had “outgrown” Disney stuff. I was in high school when it was released.

I know it’s a remake. But a cursory glance at this flick is seriously making me wonder, here. It’s the “tells”. They are there, buried in the movie. The little things that seem to just point to me, directly, that everyone else might miss. Small moments that only I would watch and think “yeah, I remember that very clearly”. I… won’t describe them. Just thinking out loud here.

Disney also released another movie that year, The Big Green, about a bunch of kids playing soccer, that I haven’t seen. I have, however, watched the trailer, and oh man, I literally remember everything in it from my own inventory of experiences playing soccer for years as a kid. I mean… wow.

Is it… possible? IDK, I mean, The Straight Story came out in 1999, and that flick was ripped directly from my own mind, but the story there is that Lynch made the film, was surprised at the G rating, and then Disney snapped it up, since it accidentally fit their tone. At least that’s how the story goes as it was told by the trades back when.

But… well… what if? I don’t know. This is all so incredibly crazy, all of it.

Need I mention that some of the kids at school called me “the computer” because of how fast my brain was, compared to everyone else’s?

I don’t know. This is really hard to grapple with, here. Soooooo many coincidences. What a puzzle. And this is all still very hard to square away with what my teachers, parents, etc. told me was reality.

Going back further, we have the flick Day- O, which Disney released in 1992. I was 12 when released, probably 10-11 when it was made.

I’ve not seen it except for snippets on youtube, but it seems to be a about a boy of my age at the time who is a ghost / astral projection who continually pops in and out of a woman’s life. Could have been doing this, back then? I honestly don’t know. Maybe? I do know that a lot of the surrounding features, like the house featured at the party, seem quite similar to what I remember from my family’s old house. But then, a lot of people have houses like that.

I don’t know, but the “feel” of the whole thing is extremely “me”, I think. I mean I can’t place it and I can’t find any direct tells but it just… seems very familiar, somehow. I don’t know. I don’t remember watching this as a kid but that doesn’t mean I didn’t.

I don’t know.

Honestly, the more I look the more confused I get by all this. Soooo many coincidences. It just doesn’t add up, based on what I had assumed and was taught “the real world” was.

Well… more stuff to ponder, I guess.

has a TikTok now.

Which means I’m faced with the inevitable question.

Should I be excited?

…

Or concerned?

Uhm, okay, I’m not sure of how to even approach this, but this is something that needs to be asked / pondered, even if only by me.

Uh… well… okay. So, what I do seems to affect people genetically, right? That would be the reason, I think, behind my unnatural youth, and… well… my wives / girlfriends and how they change their life stories, over time, to match up evenly with mine.

What I do does in fact seem to alter even them on some fundamental, and I think indeed possibly genetic, level; at least in some ways, if not actually very very many.

So uh… okayyyyy, well then, what about the chicks I used to fuck / fantasize about back in the day? I mean the Cindy Crawfords, Lea Thompsons, Barbara Alyn Woods’, and Olivia Husseys, and the rest? Did I… change them, genetically?

This is important because, uh… I just fucked India Eisley and had a weird thought. If I indeed changed her mother genetically, is India not my daughter in some ways? Because holy fuck, this is indeed sometimes what I feel when I fuck some of these chix. Like, Jeebus, I mean, that feeling comes across sometimes very strongly occasionally with the Lind girls, for example.

And come to think of it, this is why I’ve been studiously avoiding Neriah Fisher and Olivia Jade, too. Because indeed of that weird nagging hunch. Like, I really should have started up something with Neriah by now, I know it, and I know that Peyton has practically been begging me to, but that weird feeling / hunch has kept me away. Same with Olivia Jade. And Reese Witherspoon’s kid. And yes, without question Lily Mo Sheen.

I mean, I know that I kinda got that “parentage” feeling with Bella Thorne back then but that isn’t, at all, what I’m talking about, here. This is a different feeling entirely.

Like… egads, holy Jeebus Christ!

I mean, this is just a brainstorm but… oh my God, if there is even a sliver of this somewhere in the realm of truth, then this whole thing is kinda bonkers, and the implications of this would be utterly insane, and they would become even moreso as the decades grind on.

Uh, Jeezus Christ, lol.

Just a brainstorm. I mean I don’t really know for sure, or even a little bit. It’s just a hunch, you know? A feeling. An inkling. And if nothing else this would certainly explain how strongly and efficiently (and correctly!) the daughters of my former girlfriends / wives pursue me. It’s like for some reason they “know” me in a way that other girls don’t.

I mean, this can’t possibly be true, right? I mean, there’s no way.

Someone please tell me this isn’t true, lol.

Uh… things to think about later.

Bedtime for now.

Yeah…

Woah.

Needs to wait for me to finish my research into Gracie Gold. What I learn from my studies with Gracie I believe should be applicable to McKayla as well. I think. I mean, at least, the hypothetical potentials of the possibilities of possible parallels there are, like, significant. Very possibly. Potentially so.

This is all so very interesting.

There is no need for any input from McKayla herself, though some from Gracie might be of value to me, should she wish to provide me with a hint or two, or perhaps even a key to something important yet obscure.

With McKayla, I want to finish my investigations on my own, first, with what I have.

I want to know if the knowledge that I gain from my studies of Gracie Gold could be mirrored somehow with McKayla- basically, I want to know how much of a difference there is, if any, between “summer” and “winter” athletes.

Should be interesting, potentially.

I mean… you know.

Anyone else get the feeling that this chick might be infatuated with me?

Or is that just me?

I mean, not that I’ve ever actually talked with her or anything, but…

You know, sometimes you can just tell.

Or is it Annie Jayden? IDK, I mean the one with the TikTok.

Yeah she thinks she’s soooooo cool. I mean, you can just tell.

Well…

You know…

She isn’t.

Yeah.

So there.

Hrumph.

Everyone in Hollywood is a fraud.

The whole enormous system is a giant sham, and the whole thing seems to rest on outlandishly abhorrent criminal behavior that goes against any set of legal statues in the world.

I’m quite sure that illicitly reading someone’s thoughts is illegal everywhere.

See, the more I see the more I realize why it is that I’ve had all of these problems. Like, I always wondered why I was so different, and why I was having such problems with… everything. Now I know- I’ve had the added burden of… whatever the hell this is, that none of my peers ever did.

So this is why I’ve never been able to get my life together, in spite of my IQ. It’s because someone somewhere is stealing my thoughts at the base level, and I’ve been having to work around this on some fundamental level for literally decades.

It’s a lot like what Catherine Austin Fitts was saying in that Planet Lockdown video. The elites are trying to create a system in which they can see everything that we do, but we can’t see anything that they do. They’re trying to construct (or have already constructed) a one way mirror society. And because we can’t see anything that’s real- I mean, I don’t even know the names or identities of anyone involved in this crap- you can’t fight it.

Yeah, this whole thing is beyond nasty, really. It’s ugly and morally disgusting.

I honestly don’t even know any of my “girlfriends'” real names, or anything about them at all, really, like who their families really are or even where they come from. I mean I think I can assume they love me, but honestly, I couldn’t really even prove that. As far as I know, perhaps they go to sleep at night laughing at my attempts to figure out this crap. Honestly I have no idea.

I have no way to reach any of these people except for putting myself at risk and hacking into their accounts and stuff, which seems to be what they want me to do, which frankly just shows you how ugly and selfish these people really are, lol.

If this world had any semblance of fairness or decency to it, the people running this nasty show would not require me to commit potentially life-ending felonies like that just to get information on who the fuck these people even are, but since we don’t live in a fair or decent world, the fact that at least 75% of the content released by Hollywood in the past 30 years is based on me isn’t enough to get in anyone’s good graces, it seems.

Or maybe that’s the real problem. To actually tell the truth for once would necessitate telling me what is actually happening, and that reality is probably too hideous for them to come forth with. So they don’t. So they lie, and toss me pieces of table scraps on occasion, I guess to try to keep me from blowing all of this open.

Well, you people are all frauds, and you fucking suck, all of you. Every one of you so-called “geniuses” is a sham and you know it. Left to your own devices, you idiots couldn’t tie your shoes correctly, let alone come up with a decent idea for a movie, lol.

That goes for all of you- every director in Hollywood, no matter how “legendary”, every media personality, every actor, and everyone else. You all fucking suck- you are unimaginative and lazy, and probably quite stupid as well. Fuck you all; I loathe each and every one of you pieces of filth. For stealing my mind and ruining my life, and for dangling these insulting baubles in front of me as compensation for your crimes, I truly despise all of you.

There is no telling where I would be today without all of this crap. I could have a family of my own, perhaps. I could be wealthy, or at least happy, somehow. But no, I get a whole gallery of fraudulent girlfriends, instead. Honestly- I have no way of telling if any of these bitches even likes me or is faithful to me at all IRL, and at any rate, they’re never there for me when it counts, anyways.

Fuck you all.

Yeah, this one too.

See the guy on the right? The tall blond guy with the long wavy hair talking with his friend? That guy is me.

And you can’t see it in the film, but the restaurant they’re walking in front of was a Wendy’s.

I actually remember this conversation with my friend. All that stuff I am saying in this scene- about the nature of man, the irrelevance of voting, etc. is from me, and I can remember that particular conversation almost word for word.

I also remember some other stuff we talked about that day, mostly about art, that didn’t seem to make it into the film, though please note that I haven’t actually watched it. My friend there was an art major.

A brief skim of the flick and some clips on youtube indicate that this movie is an encapsulation of my life experiences and ideas about the world as a freshman and sophomore in college.

I can actually see my professors here. One guy in this film is my CS professor, another, a philosophy professor, and another character in here was the head of the math dept. I think another guy in this film was my school counselor. And of course I can see my friends, etc., and the school coffee shop, offices in the different school buildings, etc.

One scene of note has some characters watch a movie that features a military. I remember this class well- in my real life, this film was shown in history class, and it was about the Vietnam war. The movie ended with a striking scene that has never left me of a Buddhist monk self-immolating to protest the war, which is mirrored in Waking Life with my character, who self-immolates at the end of his conversation with gas he purchased at a gas station.

I don’t need to watch this movie to know what it is; it’s extremely obvious.

Do I need to bother with Linklater’s other films? I mean, not to watch them as art, or for entertainment, but in regards to these studies of mine. IDK; probably not.

I thought of a few more references to myself in Legally Blonde that I won’t bother to list here. I mean, what’s the point?

And now that we’ve discussed Waking Life, do I need to go into Good Will Hunting? I mean, not that I’ve seen it, but do I even need to for these purposes? I never watched it because at the time I thought it would be redundant; the commercials made it seem like a rehash of the same stuff that I was going through at the time.

Same rules apply with Good Will Hunting. Teenage male that looks and acts virtually identical to how I did at the time, supergenius IQ, went through a list of therapists because of his mental problems, child abuse in his past, etc. etc.

I’ve only seen commercials and youtube clips. I guess I could watch for the nostalgia factor, IDK. Maybe just to see stuff from high school, I don’t know.

Meh.

Is anyone else getting kinda bored with this, or is that just me?

At any rate… Jesus Christ, people.