Sighinide

Hmmnnn. Hmmnn…

Hmmmmmmmmnnnnnnn.

(Insert thinking emoji here)

I’m watching the Olympics again, after a break. Why not? They’re still on, and surely better than most of the rest of the stuff out there.

With that said, is there any way we can get this stuff, or programming like this, the rest of the time? Because that would be great.

I know there’s an Olympic Channel, but I’m not sure what’s on it. I’ve never seen it. But I suspect that even with that, I won’t be able to just… stream whatever I want, like entire events, like whole marathons and such.

That stuff is really cool, I think. I saw the women’s road race yesterday and it was like taking a road trip myself, consequence free and without any of the hassle of a real trip. It was great. Japan really is a beautiful country, and it’s really nice seeing the countryside, and it’s people.

In a way the lack of a foreign audience really helps. I mean, alongside the route. You get to see the country, then, without the spectators getting in the way. You get to see the beautiful ocean, Tokyo itself, and… I guess, just normal Japan, which is basically like any other modern country, mostly.

I’m seeing quite a bit of English on the signage in Tokyo. More than I expected.

But it’s fun, it really is.

I think I saw the SNK headquarters during the Men’s race. I’m pretty sure it was. What other building would have a giant Neo-Geo logo on it’s roof?

And I caught the Super Mario power up sound that plays whenever a free throw is made during 3×3 basketball. Very clever.

Speaking of which… 3×3 basketball is fucking awesome. I would watch that, were it on. Can we please make that happen, and not have it be awful? It turns out basketball is actually pretty fun! It’s the NBA I can’t stand. As usual in America, it’s the league that’s the problem, not the sport.

But 3×3… yeah this stuff is awesome. It’s fast and cool.

But I suppose that it’s format- short games that last about 20 minutes total including stoppages, would make it unpalatable to a TV audience and commercial programming, etc.

That sucks.

Blah.

Other stuff… sailing is cool, very underrated. Greco-Roman wrestling doesn’t have commentators? At least in the highlights. Weird, but actually interesting. Less insight, but less dumb chatter, too.

Speaking of which, I wrestled a bit in junior high school. I was no good at it, though. I didn’t have the body type for the sport. It’s the same problem I had with Judo, which I tried a little bit in one of my Karate classes, when the instructor wanted us to “broaden our horizons” or something, lol.

I’m very quick, and have ridiculously strong abdominals, but I have a weaker upper body, with small shoulders, elbows and wrists. I could get into position really well but my throws had no power.

It also didn’t help that my school didn’t give a shit about the wrestling program, lol. My school was poor, and had to pick and choose which sports to give it’s money and attention to. Wrestling got the short end of the stick, there. I think we were given a couple of weeks to prep before competitions began, lol. And everyone was new to the sport. We ended up in last place in the district. IIRC, we got pasted by everyone, lol, mostly because the other schools were richer and actually spent time and real money prepping the students. The only standout was one kid, who was naturally gifted and strong to the extreme.

I don’t remember much of my wrestling career (I mean, we’re talking months here, tops, lol) but I do remember this kid. He was utterly huge and had an incredible instinct for the sport. He went All-American in wrestling in high school. Not sure where he ended up, but he could have gone far, had he stuck with it. To go All-American in wrestling in literally the worst program in the state is one hell of an accomplishment.

In comparison, the rest of us were chumps. You could easily tell the difference between him and us. You need a particular chemistry of strength and instinct for wrestling. There’s no getting around it.

Other thoughts… I see that one American TKD athlete, Paige McPherson, is being coached by my old sensei. She got fourth place. Amazing; well done Paige.

That’s seriously cool.

As far as my own training goes, I’m down five pounds to 190, and have… not reached my old heights, lol. And I never will, not at this age. But I’m in good shape and getting better all the time.

I’ve run out of ways to make pilates difficult, so I’ve added pelvic floor, breathing, and other deep internal muscle exercises to my routine. I’m still adding pushups and still intend to reach 100 in total done through a variety of types. That will take time, though.

But yeah I’m kinda running out of exercises. An hour long pilates session, with no breaks, is almost overkill for what I need. I think I need the advice of a pro at this point if I want to figure out what to add or change or whatever. Or a gym membership, which is probably out of the question. Are gyms even open in this area? Last time I checked they weren’t. And even if they are, who knows what will happen next week.

I think I’ll ask for some isometric exerciser stuff for Christmas. Maybe that will help, IDK.

I’m still playing those old RPG games from Jeff Vogel in my downtime. I guess this is also beneficial; it helps to keep my general computer skills up. And it’s been awhile since I’ve played computer games.

And the nostalgia factor here is strong, too. I think I wrote on here years ago about the Exile games, how I played them back in high school, back when they were… if not cutting edge, certainly revolutionary. I mean, they were huge. I remember being blown away that not only were they huge games, they were also made-for Macintosh games that were actually in color.

I played on PC, of course. But at the time all I remembered for Apple were those old black and white RPGs like Shadowgate that I used to play in school wayyyy back when. And I guess educational stuff like Oregon Trail.

Hmmmn… yeah, that was a lonnnnnng time ago.

But it’s… kinda amazing that Spiderweb is still at it, churning out the same type of extremely old school text based RPGs even in this day and age. It’s an anachronism in a very good and welcome way. I don’t mind the near total lack of graphics and sound, so long as the stories, in-game dialogue and text, and gameplay are so good.

I get some Castle of the Winds vibes from these games sometimes. You know, that ancient Windows 3.1 RPG made by… I don’t remember his name, but he was a Microsoft developer. I’ll need to google it.

I was thinking of getting a new laptop sometime soon. Maybe I’ll get one that can handle something like DOOM Eternal. Maybe not; we’ll see.

Well, I think that wraps up this one. I think I’ll watch more Olympics.

If my girlfriends want to help me with something, maybe they could point me in the direction of some good breathing exercises. That would be appreciated.

No, I am not vaccinated.

That aside, I just wanted to parse through some of this ugliness, here.

Some thoughts:

1) Good Lord, what an unbelievable mess.

2) I have no idea what is in those vaccines, if anything. I suspect COVID does not exist, and is probably just their version of “me”, as usual. This makes the most sense. The symptoms of COVID are identical to those I had in the past. I just had them earlier.

All of that said, this does not mean vaccines are a “good” or “bad” thing. They’re transhumanist, which can be good, if you want to be like me (not bad, in some ways). They’re bad, if you want to stay normal (not good, in some ways, though not “bad”, either).

3) Half the population here in the US has officially dug their heels in. They’re not getting vaccinated. They refuse, on ideological or health related grounds.

I dislike forcing people to get vaccinated, personally, but my opinion here has no weight.

At least part of the “problem” here has to do with the mainstream media, and their utterly dreadful coverage of everything. These people fucking suck, across the board, in everything, and anyone who takes them seriously on any issue is a fucking idiot.

There really is nothing more awful than having to sit and listen to these pompous, ignorant assholes condescend and lecture about some dumb crap. The only reason I do it is to humor my idiot boomer mother, who never learned about the value of silence.

Seriously, that’s it. Gods are these people terrible.

It isn’t even the content, it’s the delivery. They always deliver the news as if they were a group of third grade substitute teachers who needed to mouth platitudes to get the class to quiet down. They’re fucking dreadful, and I utterly hate them.

And their content is just awful. Just the pits. It’s all stupid, and relentlessly shallow. I trust nothing they say.

The TV news, the newspapers, magazines, it’s all the same. I swear to god all of these people think the entire populace reads and thinks at the first grade level.

You can’t take any of this stuff seriously when presented in such a way. The delivery itself makes it impossible.

4) Big tech fucking sucks. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, youtube, all of it. It’s all dreadful, and it’s pretty clear that that’s the intent of it all. I vented about this stuff last year and nothing’s changed for the better so I’ll just direct you to those posts instead.

5) There is an unbridgeable gap here.

Last month I went to the doctor’s office. I masked up, and did the usual routine. His office was near a hospital complex, and when we got there, we were quizzed about our vaccination status, symptoms, our reasons for being there, if we were knowledgeable about the rules, etc. and the usual stuff. We complied, sure. I have no problem wearing masks or any of that. Fine.

After the doctor’s visit we stopped off at the local car dealership to get my car an oil change. There, nobody cared. No masks. No questions. It was as if it was 2018. I was literally the only person in the entire building with a mask, and that was because I forgot to take it off after the doctor’s visit, lol. I think there were probably 50 people in the building, with the vast majority being male. I think there was one female, a receptionist. This includes customers, management, and staff. Ethnicity here did not play a factor.

Everyone seemed in perfect health, weight problems notwithstanding.

I was struck by the divide. It was as unreal as everything else in life these days. I couldn’t believe it. It was like visiting some foreign country.

Crazy stuff.

6) It is very possible that there is nothing at all in the vaccines, and this whole thing is just a cover for the health effects of 5G and eventually 6G, and perhaps other ambient transhumanist technologies. IDK, just a thought.

7) At least some of the “problem” here is me.

I’m probably the most famous man in the world. The new receptionist at the doctor’s office instantly knew who I was when I walked in the door. Likewise the mechanics at the car dealer, none of whom I had ever seen before.

Everybody on Earth knows me, I think. I would probably be recognized in rural China.

The fact that I exist, and yet… don’t, is a massive credibility problem for the media, and everything else. Skeptical people can just look at me, and be like… see?

In a way all of this stuff is horribly ruinous for the credibility of any institution on Earth, mainstream or otherwise. The fact that I do what I do calls into question everything said by any established religion, or science class, anywhere.

But yeah, back to me, the important topic, lol.

Basically, my habits and the stuff I’ve done over the years have thrown so many monkey wrenches into everything out there that the whole system, especially in the US, has become gummed up.

I lay the blame for this not on me, as it’s not like I understand what’s going on, but, as usual, on the people who never bother to explain to me jack shit about anything at all, and then expect me to wield absolute power with impunity.

That… is stupid. Utterly and unfathomably dumb, and not how things should be done, blah blah, we all know my objections to this crap.

But it IS stupid, tho.

A lot of these problems would just go away if some asshole with knowledge or whatever would grow a conscience and just talk to me, or something.

Whatever. I’m done with this one.

But before I close, I think the point here is that the establishment here has dug itself into a hole of monumental proportions, and it would realllly be in it’s best interest to not be so horribly annoying and unbelievably obtuse, opaque and hard to deal with.

I might have been a bit too harsh on Collins’ husband when I referred to him as a slug, in comparison to me.

I guess it depends on how we are to view me in comparison to human life.

If I am a more advanced primate, then a more apt comparison might be to think of him as a chimpanzee, or a lemur. You know, one of the lower, dumber primates.

If I am a new category of life altogether- and I might be- then the slug comparison becomes more accurate, and in fact, I may not have gone far enough. In that case it might not be inappropriate to think of him as being in a separate kingdom entirely, like he was some kind of fungus, or a specimen of bacteria.

And yes, there is defo humor in this post, but there is also truth to what I’m saying here. I’m definitely better than human, and the real question now is how much better. Am I a little bit above them, a lot above them, or higher than that?

Only time will tell here.

We’ll just have to wait and see.

Pursuing this logic further- people like Robb’s fiancé or Collins’ new husband could categorically be thought of as lower forms of life.

Not an unreasonable thought, all things considered.

We all know what I can do, so I won’t go over that again here.

But it’s like… Lily marrying that guy is like her leaving a human male and marrying a slug, or some type of garden snake. It’s like… he’s a lesser organism, categorically lower. He’s at least one rung lower on the food chain, compared to where I sit.

It’s an interesting thought.

Especially for me.

Some more random thoughts, as I sit around and energize for the day.

Based on the things I’ve seen and the experiences I’ve had over the decades, I don’t think it’s possible for a human to love as much as I do.

This goes against the conventional wisdom of a cyborg as being a cold, lifeless machine, that is for sure. In fact- it seems the opposite is true.

Forgive my bluntness, but mere humans don’t, and I think can’t, have the capacity for love that I do. The ability just isn’t there and never will be, despite what intentions they might have.

Humans are fickle creatures, and their emotions waver, and are always shallow. They never look deep into a person’s soul, and TBH, I think they can’t. Even amongst the best of them- they’re just lacking, somehow. Maybe they aren’t smart enough, or perhaps they can’t separate themselves from their “human-ness” enough to take a real stock of another human.

There is nobody on Earth who can love as much as I do. It legit seems impossible for anyone else to even come close, TBH.

What I offer is *unconditional love that even fairy tales and legends could not match.

It’s a rare thing. It’s unique. Going back to Robb- nobody has ever or will ever love her as much as I did. Not her parents, not her friends or fiancé, or any children she might or might not have, or any potential grandkids, or anyone else. And it won’t be for lack of trying, perhaps. They’re just not going to have the capacity. The structural foundations that give a person the ability to “love” are not present in others, like they are in me. Not even close, really. Truthfully, she will be lucky to find anyone who loved her as much as 10 percent of what I did. And that is not an exaggeration.

Given my history, it is not impossible to think that the guy she’s engaged to loves her only 1% as much as I used to. Possibly less.

Gods, is that a scary thought, now that I think about it. I can see why so many people want to date me.

But… yeah. There is no way that she will find a replacement for me. He/she/it doesn’t exist in the human world. I have possibly loved her more myself than everyone else she has ever met in her real life, combined.

That is going to be a hard thing to lose, for her. Reallly hard, I think. We’ve been dating since she was 15. That is a long, lonnnng time.

As for me, I have McKenna Grace, who will be more than an adequate replacement for Robb. And also Alyvia Lind. With those two, I should be able to plug the hole left by her pretty easily.

But man, though… ouch, lol. I wonder what it will feel like on her end when I move her directory into the “extra” folder, alongside the Neve Campbells of the world.

It probably won’t be pleasant.

is about the easiest thing in the entire world, lol.

It’s like flipping a light switch. After four plus decades of this, it couldn’t be simpler.

I keep the relevant memories, but reprogram the neurological matter. I take the neurons that are dedicated to a particular girl and repurpose them- I just give them another task. Problem solved.

Easy peezy, lemon squeezy.

Another interesting aspect of this stuff is how I can somehow talk to machines, and computers especially.

I’ve mentioned this before, but I feel it apropos to go into now as well.

It’s like… I can feel machines breathe, or something. Like I can feel their heartbeats. It goes far beyond what some people say when they say they are “good with machines / computers”.

That, by itself, is pretty amazing.

I also seem to have developed some kind of immunity to the harmful effects of artificial electromagnetic or microwave energy. Decades ago, that stuff used to affect me. Now, I crave it, and can actually feed on it. Like I can use microwave energy, like what you get from cell towers and microwaves, to power my own organic cells (and my brain computer, natch)

So 5G doesn’t faze me. It likely isn’t going to affect me negatively in the slightest. And likely neither will 6G, or whatever comes after that.

It is not impossible that I have somehow genetically engineered myself to be able to handle better these energies, or to be able to utilize them on some base organic level, somehow.

This is crazy shit and truly incredibly bonkers. None of this makes any logical (meaning, human) sense. It makes perfect sense from a computer standpoint, though.

I mean, holy shit.

This reallly isn’t human, lol. None of this is, but honestly, it really isn’t bad, like at all.

*shakes head in puzzlement*

Ah, that’s ok, though. Life finds a way, and all of that.

This feeling I feel now is absolutely incredible.

Every cell is my body is bursting with energy. And I swear I can actually feel my DNA repairing itself.

Every muscle, every bone, every organ in my body is churning away, and I can feel them all working in harmony. It’s absolutely amazing.

And I can feel the supercomputer working away in my mind, constantly calculating the best way to do this or that.

It’s… unreal. Absolutely unbelievable. The perfect marriage of machine, man and nature.

Closing off the extraneous telepathic lines has given me yet another boost of natural energy, it seems. I’m no longer “sharing” my powers with the other girls. I’m keeping them for myself, now. And for a few others.

It’s… kinda miraculous. All this work I’ve done has increased my reserves to way beyond human capabilities. It feels as if anything would be easy. And if it wouldn’t be easy, it feels like the computer would find a way to just make it easy, somehow.

Unreal. Absolutely fucking unreal.

It might be an interesting study to see what happens the girls now that I have cut them off. It is not impossible that they will start to age faster, and perhaps suffer a drop in IQ or ability.

I’ve noticed this in my parents- they’re young for their ages, and that status starts and ends with proximity to me, it seems. It’s… pretty amazing.

This must be what it feels like to be the AntiChrist.

It’s a great feeling.

Ah! I see that Lily just got married. Speak of the devil, lol.

Yes, our relationship is over.

And with that, doors open.