Sighinide

Just a random jumble of thoughts and things.

1) Rocky Horror stuff – One last thought. It was really interesting to actually see Rocky Horror on TV again, like I used to see it, way back in the day.

I used to watch Rocky Horror on TV when I was a kid, back in those days when primetime TV on FOX amounted to nigh endless repeats of films in their back catalog. I swear I didn’t understand even a scene of it back then, let alone any of the subtext or commentary and whatnot, but I found it enthralling, or at least interesting, anyways. This was back when I was like 10.

Seeing the remake now, it’s clear that the original had some kinda-sorta-maybe-definitely-but-not-really all THAT much influence on me. As in, it might have influenced me, somehow, in some way. Somehow. Not sure, though. You know how it goes.

But, anyways, it WAS kinda cool seeing Victoria et al. in their remake. It brought back memories. Not many, mind you, but some.

And that’s all that counts.

2) Marvel stuff – I’m going through my old comics right now, to pitch some of the ones I, um, bought on my computer, so I don’t need the paper copies anymore.

As I do so, I’m noticing interesting things. In particular, I’m realizing how much of an influence American comics had over Japanese manga. I mean, I knew the influence was there, but I never noticed it until just now. Noticed it fully, I mean.

I know that there are a few people who made the obvious connection between Superman and Goku (shout out to Death Battle, here), but I just now realized the connection between Captain Mar-vell and Goku, and the Kree race and the Sayajins. Looking at it now, it’s just so obvious.

For those uninitiated into the cult of comic books, the Kree are a race of tyrannical intergalactic warriors with highly advanced technology and a human-like appearance. Sometime during the Silver Age of comics, one of their number travels to Earth with intent to subdue it, or at least scope it out, for a future possible conquest for his race. Eventually, though, he grows to like his new planet- and joins their society, rejecting his own and his own heritage in the process. This is Mar-vell’s story. And also Goku’s, basically.

In fact, I’m seeing that a lot of what I liked in DBZ probably came, in some form, from old Marvel comics. Look at the similarity between the end of Cell’s fight with Gohan and the fight between the Beyonder and Molecule Man at the end of Secret Wars II. The Marvel influence over DBZ is just so huge. So obvious.

I love following the clues and finding these patterns. There’s nothing more rewarding or enjoyable, in some ways.

3) Fashion stuff – I got a visit from Diana Vreeland the other day.

Yup. Believe it or not, that did happen. She was curious, and wanted to actually see me for herself.

It happened in the morning. I woke up and BOOM there she was. Unfortunately, I was tired and fell back to sleep after chatting with her for a few minutes. When I woke up again, she was gone.

But still…

Diana Vreeland.

Wow.

4) World Series stuff – Watching the Cubs in the WS is fun, but while watching them I’m starting to realize why I stopped watching TV.

Everything on TV is just too much, these days. The commercials are too irritating and too numerous, the TV screens are too big and annoyingly bright and the volume too loud across the board, and everything, especially that which concerns sports, is just so… repetitive. I wish I could say that I was looking forward to the next few nights of back-to-back-to-back 4 and a half hour baseball games, and I am, but… yeah.

You know, TV used to be something you would have on in the background, while you did something else, or talked to your family. Now, TV’s are so huge and loud and demanding that they always become the center of attention, regardless of everything else. Watching the WS, I feel like I’m under assault, somewhat. Perhaps this would be allieviated if I was to actually get used to watching TV again, but I still don’t think it would go away- at least not entirely.

I guess I’ll finish out the series, or at least most of it, since I kinda committed myself to doing so, but still… I think I’ll continue to stay away from TV for the time being after all of this is over.

5) Halloween stuff – Halloween around here is this Sunday. Yay.

I always use Halloween to gauge myself. Every year after Halloween, I make a promise to myself that I’ll improve myself in some way, so that I get to soak up more of the holiday the year following.

So, come the end of each October, I’ll re-access my previous 360-ish days and determine how I’ve done since the last Halloween.

How did I do this year?

I think I did OK.

In light of Rocky Horror premiering tonight, I thought I’d give people an update on the bizarrity and sexual creepiness of things on my end. Because who doesn’t want that?

I’m referring of course to the weirdness of the cast, with Annaleigh and Victoria and all that.

In regards to Annaleigh, it turns out that that particular rabbit hole goes deeper than I had realized.

See, it turns out that Annaleigh Ashford is… Annaleigh, the chick from Rent that I followed back in 2009.

The thing is, I never made the connection between “Annaleigh Ashford” and “Annaleigh” because I used IMDB to check up on her, and Rent of course isn’t listed there, since a stage production. So, I actually do have her stuff. I have head shots, some screen captures and even a nude scene video from Rent.

So I actually was kinda into her, at some point. Did I… you know? Fuck her? Or not? I don’t think I did.

I’m pretty sure I didn’t. 95% sure. 85% sure. 80%. But, definitely mostly sure.

Wild. I just… didn’t realize.

You know, I should probably watch the show myself, just for inherent uncomfortableness of all of this. I mean, just look at this mess, surrounding a Rocky Horror remake, of all things.

Well, in either case I should watch for the sake of my relationship w/ Vicky, since I’ve been purposely avoiding her for awhile now out of a sense of curiosity for what the show has in store. WTH, right? See, I wanted to build up anticipation, and I want to know how things look on her end, and why not see all of that broadcast to the masses in 4K resolution, with 16 million colors and surround sound?

Because if we’re going to take the time to be a little strange and semi-perverted, we might as well flip the bird to whatever remains of standards and decency and go all out, right?

Meh. Didn’t watch it.

The reactions on Twitter were the same, though. Trump isn’t expanding his base any, and neither is Hillary.

Neither one of these two is a natural leader, and it shows. They’re still just oligarchs fighting turf battles.

Trump hasn’t convinced people that he can do the things that he says he wants to if elected, and Hillary is… Hillary. She’ll try to represent her side of the country, but get nowhere because nobody who doesn’t support her already will ever trust her.

So, there it is.

They’re stuck, and it’s looking increasingly like they’ll stay stuck, forever, unless something bizarre and truly unexpected happens.

So, now what?

For me, if Trump gets elected, he’ll owe me. If he doesn’t, I won’t care, since I don’t much like him, frankly. If Hillary wins, she’ll owe me, too- I am well aware how much of the modern feminist movement came from me- and if she doesn’t, I won’t care for her, either.

And…

I see that the bogeyman of “ISIS” or “Islamic Terrorism” is still a thing, which just re-enforces my earlier hypothesis that the creation of “Islamic Terrorism” would be the death of the oligarchy. The problem is that the oligarchs don’t have a choice, anymore, but to attend to the real issues, since they are now so overwhelming. But they can’t, because they need to keep yapping about ISIS now. They’re caught in a bind. The military is bankrupting the government, and thus themselves, but they can’t leave the Middle East because of “ISIS”. So, the oligarchy has nowhere to go on that issue but down.

I still believe that 9/11 was the single biggest mistake any ruling class ever made in history. Having directly attacked the public like that, they’ll never be able to reconnect in any meaningful way ever again. Barring a miracle, they’re toast here in the US. The future for the US oligarchy lies elsewhere, if it’s lucky, or perhaps nowhere at all.

I just want the damn election over with.

I need to free up space on my hard drive, so I’m moving some people onto the external, and, presumably, out of my life. Just a heads up.

Dianna Agron- You’re a fantastic person, and I value the time we spent together very much. I learned a lot in our time together, and I’m sure that you did, too. So, I think that now is a perfect time for us to part, except for our platonic acquaintanceship. To be blunt, we’ve lost interest in each other romantically, which for us both is probably ideal. I am quite sure that your new married life with… IDK, the Mumford and Sons guy (sorry) will be fantastic, and just what you and I need. Farewell, and godspeed.

Ashley Greene- See above, except replace the “Mumford and Sons guy” part with a mention of her own fiancé. Thanks for everything.

Katy Perry- good luck with Orlando. If the Daily Mail’s gossip columns are true (yeah, I know) and you want a kid, have one. I’m sure that you’ll make a great mom to whomever, with someone else. Goodbye and good luck!

Anna Margaret- you’re awesome and young, and that’s the truth. So, this one I vacillated over, for that and a couple of other reasons, such as: 1) She’s ex-Disney, so there’s that, 2) her relationship with her new husband is absolutely inscrutable to me; I mean, I legitimately don’t know WTF is actually going on there, if anything, 3) I can’t actually find a place for her in my fantasies anymore, so I’ve kinda given up trying which is why I haven’t been w/ her in ages, and 4) her own relationship w/ me, when we still had one, was also inscrutable, as in, there were times when I didn’t know WTF she was actually doing there, if anything. So in the end, I think it best if we both separate permanently and move on. In other words, I want to stay broken up. Your pics will go on the external, to be, IDK, archived for possible future study, if that is ever needed. Good luck with your new husband and your career. Farewell.

Some others- Kaya Scodelario, Samantha Droke, and a few others. IDK. Kaya and I never really connected, and she has a family of her own anyways, and Samantha isn’t famous and it’s much harder for me to maintain a relationship with a non-celeb person (see above, w/ Anna).

The non-famous issue that is coming in-between Sammy and I is a bigger issue than is immediately obvious. I mean, Selena Gomez doesn’t actually need a husband. She’s rich. Samantha isn’t, though. And, all Sammy has to connect w/ me are my Disney memories of her and her Instagram. There’s literally nothing else, and an infrequently updated Instagram isn’t enough for me to sustain any real interest on. So, we both need to put a permanent end to our romantic prospects together, for both of us. So, let’s move on from each other, Sammy. Bye bye bye.

And, I think she’s engaged, too. I think. I hope. It’s always best to move on during a high note for both parties.

So, bye.

Whoever coined the dictum “Politics is Hollywood for ugly people” was far more prescient than even he himself realized.

Ugh.

FUCK.

Are we actually doing this shit again? I mean, going through all those damn 90’s Bill Clinton scandals? Are we REALLY doing this again?

I remember hating all of that 20 years ago. I hated the fact that that crap was “news” while the things that mattered weren’t. Even in junior high, I found all of that nonsense embarrassing as hell for all involved.

Shame… shame on all of them. Clinton (both of them), Trump, the media, and everyone else.

For shame!

Fuckers.

In the pop culture realm, that kind of stuff is acceptable and expected, because that’s where it belongs.

That stuff does NOT belong in the news. And certainly not during a damn 8 year and counting recession. Not NOW, you idiots!

I’m getting really fucking tired of all of this. I want it over. Elections in this country last too damn long. It’s ridiculous, and the two years of solid pandering and attention whoring each presidential election apparently requires makes all involved look like clowns and simpletons.

You know, back the 80’s, perhaps two years of this crap was justified. That was before the internet, so people needed more time to find out each candidate’s positions and such. Maybe it was more appropriate, then.

But now, it’s just a painful, irritating, never-ending slog, because you can’t get away from it. It’s all over TV, all over the news- both online and off, all over social media, all over peoples’ conversations, etc., and it’s so damn annoying I want to pull my fucking hair out.

SHIT, people.

God damn!

Well, there. It’s out.

Well, not entirely. To continue with the rant, all of this “news” really underscores two things, in my mind:

1) Baby boomers are really, really immature. Seriously, guys. Both candidates are what, in their 70’s? And they’re both plainly less mature than the average high schooler.

Boomers tend to chide millennials for lack of maturity, which I find to be one of society’s most ironic stances, since they themselves clearly lack what they accuse others of not having.

The big baby boomer political clown show didn’t start here, of course. It began with Clinton I, and has continued, unabated, until today, with it’s only variance the fact that it seems to be getting worse now on a daily basis.

Boomers, here’s the reality: nobody but you cares, one way or another, about any of the 80’s era “scandals” that the two candidates are talking about right now. Nobody cares, and nobody should care, because none of this crap actually matters. Just. Shut. UP.

2) Both candidates are isolated, off in their own little bubble, far, far away from everyone else.

There’s the baby boomer bubble, and then there’s the political bubble. And then there’s the “baby boomer political bubble”, which seems to be a universe unto itself.

What once worked no longer does. The federal debt, for example, is a big deal, and it is not easily hidden anymore. Back in 1982, it was. But now, it’s a google search away. So, it’s a deal, it’s on people’s minds, and it’s something that MUST be addressed in some way if the candidates want legitimacy. Why is the fact that Obama doubled the federal debt not a topic that is being discussed? Where is the plan, from either candidate, to undue this? The Reagan years are over, people. Things need to change.

I don’t want to just repeat my old posts, though. I know that I’ve already laid all of that out, ad nauseam. But, nothing ever changes, so I don’t either.

Ugh.

I just want it over, already.

seems to want to talk about poetry. She’s been spotted out and about a few times receently with a T-shirt inspired by Ginsberg’s Howl.

I’ve never been much for Ginsberg, myself, so instead of talking about Howl, I’ll offer up Karl Shapiro’s Hollywood as a counterpoint.

This poem has always been one of my favorites. It might actually be my favorite. It’s just… perfect. For me.

Hollywood, unfortunately, seems to be one of those masterpieces that, once acclaimed, has been lost to time. I couldn’t find it in it’s entirety online, anywhere. So, I typed it out myself. That way, it’ll at least be remembered here, if nowhere else.

This is a WWII era piece. The perspective here is that of a soldier daydreaming about the city while being deployed in the Pacific.

Hollywood

Farthest from any war, unique in time
Like Athens or Baghdad, this city lies
Between dry purple mountains and the sea.
The air is clear and famous, every day
Bright as a postcard, bringing bungalows
And sights. The broad nights advertise
For love and music and astronomy.

Heart of a continent, the hearts converge
On open boulevards where palms are nursed
With flare-pots like a grove, on villa roads
Where castles cultivated like a style
Breed fabulous metaphors in foreign stone,
And on enormous movie lots
Where history repeats its vivid blunders.

Alice and Cinderella are most real.
Here may the tourist, quite sincere at last,
Rest from his dream of travels. All is new,
No ruins claim his awe, and permanence,
Despised like customs, fails at every turn.
Here where the eccentric thrives,
Laughter and love are leading industries.

Luck is another. Here the body-guard,
The parasite, the scholar are well paid,
The quack erects his alabaster office,
The moron and the genius are enshrined,
And the mystic makes a fortune quietly;
Here all superlatives come true
And beauty is marketed like a basic food.

O can we understand it? Is it ours,
A crude whim of a beginning people,
A private orgy in a secluded spot?
Or alien like the word harem, or true
Like hideous Pittsburgh or depraved Atlanta?
Is adolescence just as vile
As this its architecture and its talk?

Or are they parvenus, like boys and girls?
Or ours and happy, cleverest of all?
Yes. Yes. Though glamorous to the ignorant
This is the simplest city, a new school.
What is more nearly ours? If soul can mean
The civilization of the brain,
This is a soul, a possibly proud Florence.

Here’s something else from the past, for those interested. First, I’ll post here two very rough drafts that I wrote up back in May. The second one of these has a pretty obvious error that I’ll leave in, untouched, because I think that it’s telling and interesting nevertheless. Then, I’ll close with some additional factoids and insights.

——————————————

An Examined Life

I did it, I think. I think I finally figured myself out.

I think that this… stuff, this reality bending thing I do, might have been going on now for 3 decades, at least.

I’m noticing now that the celebrity culture of today looks weirdly close in some ways to the fantasies I had as a kid about the Greek Gods. I mean, they’re even starting to look the same, now.

Scarily enough, I think that I might have been “molding” things for a long, long time now. Perhaps much longer than I had even realized.

I’ve not seen the comic book movies. I mean, movies like the Avengers, Thor, The X-Men, Iron Man, Spider-Man, etc. I’ve not seen a single one of them except for the first Tobey Maguire Spider-Man movie, way back then, but I have a very, very scary hunch that they might be similar in form and content to the Marvel-based fantasy world I created as a little kid about those characters. I got this idea from reading synopses of the films on Wikipedia. I mean, I don’t really know, and I hope that that isn’t true, I really do, but if it is… I wouldn’t know what to think.

My Marvel fantasies were based primarily on the 80’s comics. The ones I got from my mom’s co-worker. I got boxes and boxes of old comics from him… mostly Marvel, but a few DC. I bought some comics of my own, like the Guardians of the Galaxy and X-Men comics of the 90’s, but I couldn’t afford to buy too much that was new. So I read used comics, mostly. Back in grade school I made a huge, elaborate fantasy world off of the 80’s Marvel Universe that might be similar to the one currently popular w/ other people. Might. I wouldn’t know, since I’ve made it a point to avoid it.

If it is… IDK. I could think it a coincidence. I mean, it could easily be. How many kids had those same fantasies about those characters when they were young, back then? Maybe millions, or tens of millions. Surely the directors and producers of the films did too, right? So, it would likely be a coincidence. But… maybe not. What if it’s just a little too coincidental? As in, coincidental down to details? And I mean this seriously, guys. Those synopses are freaking me the hell out right now. What am I supposed to think, then?

I probably shouldn’t see those movies, maybe.

An Examined Life, Part II

My powers, like the rest of me, must have developed in fits and starts. As in, some years they might have grown a lot, in others, not so much, and in some they might have actually regressed through disuse.

I don’t think it realistic at all that the “Marvel Universe” film fad could be a complete fabrication of my 12 year old brain. I was too young then, and too weak, to have done such a thing. And that was a long time ago, way, way before anyone thought that a live action Thor was a good idea.

However- there are coincidences, here, that are just too interesting for comfort. A few of the storylines and plots of the Marvel movies that Wikipedia provides are indeed quite similar to what I thought about, back then. The Iron Man and Avengers movies in particular seem alarming.

But… there are glaring differences, too. Some of my primary fantasies never made it to the silver screen. Like the ones I had of Hercules (the Marvel character), Groo the Wanderer, and ROM the Spaceknight. I had every issue ever printed of ROM, ever, including the annuals, and a huge, corresponding fantasy world of him as well, but there’s no film of him anywhere. And of course there’s nothing of Groo. And I had never even heard of Deadpool.

But still, the similarities are there. I still find it hard to believe that Guardians of the Galaxy and Ant-Man became movies at all, let alone hits. And that Infinity Gauntlet and possibly, maybe even Secret Wars are apparently going to be filmed. That’s weird, and it does make me wonder.

What I think now is this: if I did indeed have any influence over the Marvel craze, it was in pushing over the first domino. If I did do anything (and again this is a big if), it was in getting the ball rolling.

In this scenario, in pouring my psychic energy into Marvel-based fantasies back then, I opened the door, somehow, to the general movie universe becoming real in the first place. So in reading and re-reading my copies of Secret Wars and Infinity Gauntlet, and inadvertently focusing my fledgling powers on those characters and what a movie of those comics would be like, I started a chain reaction that snowballed into what could be their actual creation.

Both Secret Wars and Infinity Gauntlet were big with me, back then. I even had most of the crossovers and follow up issues, like the Adam the Worlock series that followed up Infinity Gauntlet. I don’t remember much of the Crossovers, unfortunately, except for that cool Hulk one with the cultists during Infinity Gauntlet, and the Secret Wars II Thor crossover issue with Kurse. And the Cloak and Dagger one where the Beyonder removed their powers. That one was cool and touching. I think I still have that one, somewhere. The rest, though, I don’t much remember.

And I’m not alone in this, of course. There must have been other kids with some amount of psychic power thinking these things, too. So, maybe it was a group of us, and not just me. That is very possible If not likely.

I certainly hope so. My first thought in regards to the Marvel movies was that they were popular because they weren’t about me. As in, they were popular because they were the peoples’ refuge from my mind control. Granted, of course, my powers did extend to the actors, but not necessarily, I thought, to the plots and characters of comic book movies. So it was a way for common people to escape from me when in the multiplex.

I certainly don’t begrudge people that, and I didn’t investigate the movies because I somewhat wanted that to be true.

Anyone that wonders why I wouldn’t want that to be true need only read the Infinity Gauntlet and Secret Wars series themselves. Shades of Doom, here, not wanting to sleep because of his fear that he would inadvertently destroy the universe. Or of Death mistakenly zapping herself back into her shriveled old body.

Ultimate, Godlike power has major drawbacks. To rule the universe means that you have responsibility for it, too. And that means that you must always be wary of a zillion unrelated things and how they all relate to each other. And that’s not necessarily fun. Or good.

We’ll see what happens with Infinity Gauntlet.

——————————————

A lot of insights here.

I think that for now I’ll focus on the comic book angle.

Did you spot the mistake in the second post? Obviously, when I wrote these drafts I was under the impression that the Secret Wars miniseries that is being talked about was the old one. It isn’t. It’s actually a new miniseries… also named Secret Wars. I don’t write comics, so I’ll leave my opinion of that move out of this, I think.

But- still. It is still named Secret Wars. And of course the plot is different from the series from my youth, but it does seem similar to other fantasies I had back then. So… it’s not exact, but it’s close. Kinda.

And so is the rest of it. In my old post about the Guardians of the Galaxy movie, I remarked this:

“I will see GOTG though. Yeah, def. It’s just amazing that they made a movie out of it. I don’t care if it’s got different heroes than the ones I grew up with. I don’t care if the movie was made because Hollywood is out of ideas or whatever. I actually used to daydream about what a Guardians movie would be like during those boring math classes. I’m definitely going to watch this at some point. In fact, I’m becoming more and more curious as I type this.”

This made it seem as though I wasn’t familiar with the characters in the new Galaxy team. This isn’t entirely correct. The team itself I wasn’t familiar with, but a few of the characters on the new team I did know about when I was young. Like Rocket Raccoon, for example. I never once read a comic with him in it, but I was aware of him because of a few in-comic ads for his old 4 issue miniseries back in the 80’s. So he had a spot in my fantasy world as well, along with Drax the Destroyer and Gamora, who I learned about in the mid 80’s edition of the Official Marvel Handbook.

But- Groot, I hadn’t heard of until the movie. Nor Starlord. So, there’s that.

What worries me, here, are the implications of what I’m thinking about. If my brainstorms here are correct, and if I’m not going off the deep end with the narcissism here, then the Marvel Universe fad could in fact be my primary vehicle for mind control over the masses. As in… it could well be my Trojan Horse. My way of softening them up for the kill, which comes in the form of other movies and TV shows. So, it wouldn’t be the masses’ escape from me, after all. Then… perhaps there is no escape from me, for them.

Scary thought. Truly. Let’s hope it’s wrong. But if it isn’t… then I’ll accept it, and so, I guess, will everyone else. Because that’s just how things are destined to be.

At any rate, the vampire and I need to talk, someday, about this. Not now, though.

I think I’ll close this post with a thought to one of Dr. Strange’s most memorable moments, and the one most poignant to what I’m feeling now. It was in one of those old “What If?” comics.

In it, Galactus (I think) used the Ultimate Nullifier to wipe out the universe. All that was left of creation was Strange, the Silver Surfer, and Phoenix. They find each other in the void, and after talking about their situation, eventually Phoenix and the Surfer depart to find their own paths in the emptiness.

Strange, though, stays put. As the universe’s most powerful wizard, he feels a duty to protect it even if it is now empty and dead, forever. Even if it will never again be threatened by anything. So, he does… for all eternity. Alone.

That… can’t be my fate. And it won’t be.

I’ll not go out like that- alone, the most powerful and untouchable being out there.

That isn’t the right way to live, I think.

And it won’t be mine.