Archive for September, 2020

The Debates, Part II

Tuesday, September 29th, 2020

I don’t understand how others don’t find all of this shit brutally embarrassing. I just can’t. I mean, people actually watch these things, like for real. I mean, with interest. Because they’re interested. It’s baffling.

Look, both of these people fucking suck. Isn’t that obvious? Than what is the point of watching this shit? To confirm it? I don’t get it.

Look, Trump is a Jewish placeholder and overall dumbass who doesn’t understand that his job is to serve Americans, not Israelis. His idea of “outreach” is to make horrifically embarrassing overtures to niggers that will only hold him in contempt for even trying. He fucking sucks. His presidency has been four years of bellowing stupid crap about the “muh black employment!!!” while our cities and futures literally burn to the ground. He has been a dreadful embarrassment to this country, his position, his race, his own upbringing, his party, and his voters. There is no reason to vote for his stupid ass come November.

Biden is a different flavor of Jewish placeholder, but another boomer cuck Israel worshiper in the Trump vein. He sucks, catastrophically. He is at best a doddering old fool who will provide a veneer of white respectability to whatever type of ugly, hysterical nonsense Kamala will try to put our country through when / if she gets in. These people fucking suck, all of them.

None of these clowns are worthy of holding local office, or of being president of the neighborhood 4-H chapter, much less President of the US. They are awful, noxious fools. The US has perhaps the most overrated political class on Earth. These guys, the lot of them, are a big joke.

Guys- you get what you support. Ignore these fuckheads and do something more productive with your lives, seriously. Like- take up crochet, or, IDK, speak out against Zionist tyranny, say. Against the Jewish empire. Do something of use to your race, to your own futures.

Fuck this shit. It isn’t worth your attention.

The Debates

Tuesday, September 29th, 2020

I didn’t watch.

Am I correct in thinking that both candidates are shabbos goyim arguing about how best to screw over the pitiful remnants of the United States for Israel’s benefit?

Yes?

Yeah, I thought so.

The Deadline, Part II

Tuesday, September 29th, 2020

Good lord I just can’t stop shaking, lol. I can’t eat anymore and I can’t sleep at night. I mean I’m just a burning ball of nervous energy until I get my next hit. It’s dreadful. My skin again feels like it’s on fire. This sucks, lol.

I’m going to stand firm with the date, though. I was thinking of moving it up but I think not, at least not now.

Oh Gawd this is just so horrid, lol.

Yeeeech

The Deadline

Tuesday, September 29th, 2020

Alright, so I set a date. Dec. 31St, 2021. If nothing’s better by then I’ll make it a point to kill myself on that night. Great, fantastic.

I mean, it’s a year away. If by then things aren’t better for me, than they never will be and it’s frankly dumb to continue on. Should be easy to justify, then. Great idea, Tom.

Yeah, and it truly is, isn’t it? I feel so free. Like a tremendous load has been lifted from my shoulders. I feel great. I’ll give it a year and two Christmases, then. And we’ll see. If I still want to die by then, boom, off goes my head, lol. Or narcotics- I have enough to kill an elephant. Or both. Not an issue.

In other stupid news, I went and left a message on Cady’s insta, on her first post, using my real name this time…

I wish you were still alive. You had a uniquely beautiful soul and your music meant the world to me. I will always treasure what you gave to this world and I thank you every time I listen to one of your songs. You were one of the few bright spots in this ugly world and it hurts that you had to leave so early, when you were so young… I wish you all the luck in the next world. Who knows maybe I will meet you there and we can talk music or something. Thank you so much for everything, Cady. Farewell and God bless.

Gerd I STILL feel like crying. And I don’t want to, because I don’t know if I will ever be able stop when I start. I mean it’s about waaaaay more than that one chick, I feel. And it’s the middle of the day and I don’t want anyone to see me, ’cause I don’t want anyone to know.

I’ll need to wait for tonight, and we’ll see. It’s so empty and lonely and cold and dark in my grisly room that I should be able to do what I want to do, uninterrupted. I mean I have the whole floor basically to myself, thank fuck. Not that I WANT to spend tonight crying, mind you, but I think I’m going to, whether I want to or not. I just don’t think I will be able to contain it, I think.

Maybe I just need more drugs, lol. Maybe that’s it, I always feel dreadful when I hit the precipice of getting withdrawals, lol. That is such an awful feeling, it is. Just nasty as hell.

Yeah, that’s it. Drugs it is, then. I’ll pop a handful of pills and let’s see how I feel tonight. Hopefully not sad, lol.

Yup, sounds like a plan!

Glad my life is going so well.

Cady Groves, A Retrospective, Part IV

Monday, September 28th, 2020

Yeah……. I need to work some stuff out, here. I mean like seriously, so here’s another one of these. If these aren’t your thing, please move along. In fact please find another blog for now, because this is what you’ll be getting for awhile, I think.

Ok, just to cut right to the chase, I reeeeeeeeeally wish that Cady was still alive.

I’ve been listening to Life of a Pirate again, after a loooong run of like 7 years of not having listened to it and wow it’s really good. Better than I honestly remember. So many good songs here and it brings back a ton of good memories, like of 2010 and thereabouts, back when… IDK, I think Lindsay Lohan was my #1. Yeah it was THAT long ago, lol. I’m not sure when I first heard it. I don’t think it was when it was first released, it might have been after, somewhat. Like in 2011, or so. IDK. Either way, it seems like another century at this point, considering how fast things go these days… but yeah, what a great album. I might have not listened to it again if she hadn’t died. So maybe this is the one grain of something good that has come out of the mountains of awful that was her death.

I reeeeeally really wish she hadn’t died. I mean, she wasn’t just a phenomenal chick, she was a symbol for so much of what I liked about the entertainment industry, about Hollywood, and internet culture, and just… people in general. She stood for so much when she was alive and now it’s just… oof. Gawd, it’s just so dreadful and barren. So awful and noxious.

I know I’ve beaten this horse to death, but seriously, compare even her 2020 insta feed with the usual repulsive shit you get from people in the industry, like say, nearly anybody in the list I posted just below. As I’ve said, I stay away from celebrity social media these days. 99% of it is garbage, but hers was funny and likable even up to the current year. A real accomplishment.

Honestly, I would trade Cady for any one of the chicks I listed below. Or or to be 100% honest… frankly… for all of them.

Alot of chicks on my roster have officially left in 2020. Elizabeth Gillies, Emma Roberts, Lily Collins, and Cady, etc. I don’t give a fuck about any of them but Cady. The rest of them were so similar to each other that they might as well have been interchangeable, and in fact they literally are. Emma Roberts is pregnant? Honestly, who gives a fuck. Just dump her, plug in Lexi Jayde, and we’re good to go. Que cera, cera. Gillies, Collins, whatever. There were probably more at some point. I don’t care.

Cady though can’t be replaced easily, if at all. Which is why her death is so hard to take. She wasn’t a stepford-wife 2020 type musician- I mean look at her insta feed; there is absolutely none of the shit you find clogging up everyone else’s feed these days, like BLM crap, ignorant political junk, paid advertisement crapola and other trash. No, it’s just fun, and clever posts of real substance, and not even much self-promotion that you would think would be de-rigueur on even an indie musician’s feed. It was a real gem until the end.

Geez, what a fantastically great person she was. Her soul was uniquely beautiful. A better human being certainly than the typical sheltered Hollywood product of nepotism like Collins and Roberts, or someone like Taylor Swift, regardless of how “hot” they are. I guess that what I’m saying is that I would rather have a hour’s worth of conversation with someone like Cady than a day with an Emma Roberts type. Honestly… I seriously mean this.

And it’s sad that there isn’t someone I know of to replace Cady. It sucks.

IDK, maybe I just need to get out more. But damn, her kind just seems rarer than ever these days.

The fact that she…… well, offed herself seems again a rather damning indictment of America 2020. It’s a brutal statement on the horrors of the industry certainly, but I think of everything.

And it’s evidence that I was right.

I didn’t blog for so long because I thought… I was alone in how I regarded things. Like, I thought things were exceptionally dreadful, but that was just me, you know? I mean, none of my girlfriends thought like that, I have like hundreds of them, so… But, yeah. Then I found out Cady killed herself, and yeah, there’s the proof. It wasn’t just me. And it seems like it’s the best of us that are the worst affected by what is going on.

This sucks. It’s just awful. And there’s no way out, except for maybe my reality warping powers. Ugh, how dreadful. This really fucking sucks.

I wonder sometimes how any of these guys responsible for this- I mean, the usual types, we all know them, Trump, Biden, Kamala, Soros, Bezos, hell, all the politicians, all the rich people, etc. blah blah blah, even sleep at night. Knowing the carnage they cause… it just seems like these guys must not even be human. How could they be? Just look at this place. Look at how dirty, ruined and ugly this place is. Look at how unhappy everyone is. I can’t walk outside anymore without people telling me how much they hate how this country has ended up, how much better life was before, etc. and I don’t even mean the older generations. I’ve heard that kind of talk plenty if not moreso from younger Americans than older ones. Although lately is seems like I hear it from everybody I meet.

I just… hate this. I still feel profoundly embarrassed at being a part of a country like this. And I think at this point I might never be proud of this country again. How tragic. And how awful for everyone.

It’s like there’s this bottomless pit that’s opening up in front of everyone, and we’re all in danger of falling in, except that the rich and powerful feel that maybe they won’t be if they just scream “BLACK LIVES MATTER BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!!!!!!!!” loudly and incessantly enough. Boy, do I have news for them, lol.

But I think the point is the one I keep making here. Everyone is scared out of their minds, but at least the rich live well. For now, haha.

What was I saying? Oh yeah, Cady Groves.

Sigh. Well, I just wish she was still alive, I guess. I don’t know where I’m even going with this. Maybe there’s nowhere to go. Maybe that’s just it. Like, that’s it. My best relationship is over, and that’s it. The country is a shithole, and that’s it. And nothing is to be done about anything, anymore. Maybe that’s all there is.

I don’t know what else to say. It’s like I’m just repeating myself over and over, and nothing ever changes. Like I’m trapped, or something. Like I’m boxed in with no way out.

Gawd, I so wish I was dead, too, lol. And then there’s that again, haha.

Do you think that maybe if I die I’ll get a do-over with some of this stuff?

Probably not.

Sigh…

I think I’ll get high again and off to bed, again.

Who knows, maybe I’ll listen to Life of a Pirate again.

Like usual.

Top X celebz, in Order of First Thought of, Importance not Implied or Inferred

Sunday, September 27th, 2020

1) Luuuuuucy Hale
2) Brighton Sharbeano
3) SellEEEEEENNNNAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4) IDK about this one
5) Chloway
6) Dove Bar
7) Ellleh
8) Miaeyea Mitchll
9) Vicky J
10) NESSAAAAAA.
11) Nina Nina Ballerina
12) Kathy Newton
13) Kathy McNamara because I thought of Kathy Newton
14) Haaaaaaaalee Pullos
15) IDK, I think that’s enough for now

Woah, Part V

Sunday, September 27th, 2020

Alright, the second limiter as gone as well.

Yeah, number #2. I had one to cap my power, and one to hold me in place- to keep me from wandering off into some strange dimension or whatever. I have complete control over my power and don’t need that one anymore, either.

I mean I’m still a junkie and still suicidal and still… lonely, and depressed, and angry, bitter, frustrated, and self-loathing, and I still think often that the world would have been best without me. And I still want to flatten those that I think have ruined my life and turned me into a monster. The Zionists, the schools, the politicians, the civil rights people, big business, etc.

You think I’m a bad person? You think I’m hateful, you fuckers? A monster, because of who I am- a common Midwesterner, an ordinary, so-called evil, and hateful, white male, because I don’t want to get killed by niggers? A worthless goyim? Not human, am I? A monster, you say? Be careful of what you wish for, you shitheads. Because you just might get it.

But whatever. All things aside, my life would be better off if I made some changes, clearly. So the second limiter is gone.

This post, and what I did with / to Lucy Hale today is a mere taste of what I can do.

Watch out, you assholes.

I’m coming.

Selena Gomez

Thursday, September 24th, 2020

Sike!

Nope, not even.

Not unless I have like a ten hour block of uninterrupted time.

Noooooooope

Y’all are just going to need to wait.

lol

Addendum to Cady Groves, Part XI

Thursday, September 24th, 2020

Oh yeah and ANOTHER thing-

We had a lovely chat. We chatted up a storm tonight and I think we yakked our way to some answers. Good, Tom, good!

Yaaaaaaaay

I loveth the bitch!

I still do. And I’m fucking keeping her here whether she wants to leave or not, because FUCK IT, I’m an evil wizard and you know what, it’s high time I acted like one.

So there!

Cady Groves, Part XI

Thursday, September 24th, 2020

I had an interesting night just now, filing everything away in regards to Cady’s death.

I learned a lot. It was truly fascinating, and it opened up new doors for me in understanding our relationship and… everything. Me, the past, history, the future. It was incredible, but I’m too tired to go over the details. So I won’t.

Not now, at any rate.

It must be frustrating for my living girlfriends to keep losing out to a dead chick, lol.

Ah, well, tho. You beg to date a necromancer, this is what you get. Beggers can’t be choosers.

Life’s a bitch, lol.

Well, for most, at any rate.

I think I’ll take another hit and climb into bed. My nerves are going all crazy again from withdrawal. Another post, there. Yeesh, I could spend all day blogging I guess.

Yeah, lol.

Be afraid, be verrrrrry afraid! Muhahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

lol