I’ve been thinking. I need something. Something to counteract the boringness and bleakness of my day to day existence. A girl, perhaps.
She should be tall enough to complement my height, but not too tall. I want someone a bit shorter than me- say, 5′ 10″ to my 6′ 3″. That would be perfect.
I want her to be fit, but not too fit. No bodybuilders. Just someone fit enough to jump around a bit when the need requires it.
I want a girl with blond hair and blue eyes to match mine, and I want her to match my sensibilities. She should be Midwestern but with a coastal flavor. Someone from, say, Pennsylvania would be nice.
I want her to like folksy, conservative stuff like me, but I also want her to like dance music as much as I do. Dancing is fun.
I want her to be a performer, too. I love performing and I need a partner to perform with. It would create such a nice groundwork for a stable, lasting relationship. It would be perfect.
Also, I would like a girl that could provide me with a bit of financial stability. That’s such a necessity in these troubled and unpredictable times.
Now that I’ve explicated what I need, where will I EVER find such a girl? Who the hell knows, that’s where! Apparently nobody that *I* know fits the bill!
Ohhhhh well. Maybe I’m just destined to live a life lonely and crotchety. You know, like that one country singer pop star girl that hangs out with her cat all day. What’s her name again? Beats me!
I hope a tsunami hits Rhode Island.