Sighinide

So, yeah, bad week. Weird convulsions this morning, probably owing to drug use. It’s like my hands, feet keep shaking. I’m in bed and they just keep pounding the bed, over and over, endlessly. Probably not normal. Migraine headache, throwing up, skin thin and flaky. I’m extremely cold and pale. Eyes are clogged with tears. Can’t breathe.

Probably not normal. Stomach hurts, brain oozing out my ears. But I can’t get off, I’ll die. Fenty withdrawals will kill me.

Fuck. This is bad, but at least I’m cognizant. Kinda. I just keep sweating. I’m hyperventilating, now, probably because I’m having trouble breathing. Probably not good.

Whatever. I can still kill myself, so that’s a thing. Oof. I mean I won’t but, it is nice to have the option.

Oof, can’t breathe. So weird. It’s like I alternate between hyperventilating and suffocating.

But it feels good, though. The drugs love me, so it’s good. Yeah.

Uh, ouch. Oh man, this sucks, lol.

Whatever. I will deal.

God I hope I overdose and die, lol.

This place is fucked. No way can the country hold itself together, not after this.

This whole election process has been utterly ruinous for the credibility of the Democrats. Any win here is a poisoned chalice. Now, nobody outside the party will ever trust them, again. Possibly on anything.

They’re all liars, though. I mean, they don’t deserve the trust. I’m just saying.

I seriously think that this is it for effective governance over the US. It really is time to break up the country, for everyone’s good. Seriously, guys. It’s time.

Biden is going to go over like Obama did, only significantly worse. Obama at least had the luxury of being seen as a legitimate president, as least vote-wise. Biden will be like Obama, if everyone on the Republican side thought that in addition to all the other reasons Obama was terrible, he was as well being directly mind controlled by Chinese Communists.

And to top it off, we’re going to skip that grace period that Obama enjoyed at the start of his presidency. You know, that graceful truce that Obama enjoyed for his first couple of years? You know, that wait-and-see period he enjoyed because people wanted to figure him out, first. Well, we’re not having that, here. We’re going to get right to the conflict, from the very beginning. And it’s only going to get worse from there. It’s going to be ugly and awful. This place will become ungovernable.

Biden is like Obama, minus the charm, and the youth, and the well-spokenness, and the overall good health. Kamala is a Hilary clone from the Affirmative Action bin. She’s like Hillary, minus the positive that was Bill Clinton. Hillary, only more annoying, and more confusing, since absolutely nobody on the right can figure out her appeal on any level. Hillary, only uglier. Yuck.

This isn’t going to work. The right- especially the populist right- has been abused and treated terribly since at least Trump’s inauguration, and if we’re being realistic here, since 1945, or perhaps since the creation of the income tax. Or maybe since Lincoln’s war. Some of these guys have epic chips on their shoulders, for some very good reasons.

This won’t be like… 2017, when people on the right just kinda sat back and decided on a “wait-and-see” approach. I think that we’ll probably never see another one of those, ever.

Guys, this seriously isn’t going to work. Even if by some miracle the right can be convinced that the election results are in fact legitimate, this union still wouldn’t work, anymore.

The media lies too much, here. You can’t believe anything they say to the point that you might die if you do. There’s no way any amount of censorship is going to work. People are convinced that their lives are on the line, not just their rights. You can’t fight that. It’s tantamount to the government declaring a genocide on it’s own citizens, which is in fact what the right is convinced is happening, now. You can’t govern any of this. Even someone with the appeal of a JFK could not govern this place, anymore. Let alone a Biden, or a Kamala.

The US needs to be split up into racial units, and the Jews and their powers need to be crushed. Either that, or it’s public vs. private, to the death, in a winner takes all bloodbath. And despite what the left thinks, there is no way to side-step what is coming, because the right is convinced that it’s already here, not without evidence.

You can’t govern the situation that’s coming.

And anything else beside the prescription I have given results in an ultimate genocide for the left. In a head on, winner take all bloodbath, they’re going to be killed.

So… yeah. Break up the US, already.

It’s time.

Uh, I don’t think they get it. Wow. Like… what are they even thinking, lol?

Ok, so I’m listening to my parents, downstairs. They’re Biden supporters. Fine by me, one is as good as any other, really.

But they seem to think that if Biden gets into the Presidency that the fight will be “over”, or whatever. Um, no, lol.

They are old, out-of-touch. And they get their news from CNN, lol. They are also dumb, naive, when it comes to virtually all issues of substance. And they can’t “think” very well. They don’t know how to process and interpret information well, at all. Probably things they have in common with most supporters of Biden (or perhaps any candidate), I would imagine.

Yeah… um, lol. I don’t know how to break it to them, haha. I think I won’t; they’re old, both well into their 70’s. Let them have their delusions. But yeah, they’re dumb, and not prepared for what is coming.

I don’t believe anyone in Biden’s camp really understands what it is they’re staring at, here. But, they’ll learn, I suppose. Good and hard, lollll.

But yeah, OK. It’s war time, bitchez!!! Oh yeah! Lovely. Let’s kill the bastards. This is gonna be great.

Absolutely fantastic!

It’s like I can feel my barbarian blood boiling in anticipation for this. It will truly be glorious!

Neat!

But not now, though. I kinda need to sleep now, I think. Get rid of this fentanyl induced migraine.

Eek, lol. Ouch, seriously. These things are reeeeally painful.

Yuck.

But ONE day, lol!

Yeah.

Is it over yet?

Jeezus, I sure hope it is. Christ this shit is so horribly oppressive. It’s awful, always. There truly is nothing more dreadful or toxic than politics, especially in this country. It’s awful. Awful. All of it. Every candidate and every speech and everything. Fuck ALL of these people.

Well, the Democrats have stolen the election, obviously. And in doing so, they’ve invalidated the Presidency. No matter who gets “in office” democracy does not exist here, anymore, if in fact it ever has.

It’s clear that we go into separation or war mode from here. Good. This is what I wanted, all along. To be free from this accursed government, and this awful media, and everyone associated with either. This is perfect for me; thanks everyone for helping things get to this point, even if only inadvertently.

So yeah, I have always wanted this. A true and honest war, a just war, a perfect war. A war that is absolutely necessary for the survival of goodness in this world.

There is truly nothing I thirst for more than this. And I mean perhaps nothing. This is… amazing, this feeling. Incredible. I love it; I’m almost drunk on bloodlust, here.

Great. So- now we fight. We fight these bastards in the streets. Kill or be killed, I guess. Neat.

How will it play out? I don’t know, but I got us here to this point at least, and thank god I did. This really is wonderful, lol. I mean, I never again need to pay attention to anything political, ever again. How freeing! It’s like a great burden has been lifted off of my shoulders.

Nice. So- America is finished. It’s over, as a country. And with America, so too goes any visions of some neoliberal order, or whatever.

Neat!

Oof. Well, I’m “up”, migraine notwithstanding.

I just remembered something. You know those Cady songs I was talking about before? From Daytrotter Studios. As it turns out, those were all from me, after all. For whatever reason, when I went to listen to that Cady song this morning, the views on it did a weird jump from 0 views to 9 views when I looked at it. What I think happened is that the algorithm apparently recognized my computer as having listened to it 9 times or something (which would have been about right I think) and it gave me “9” views upon looking at it, all from me.

And apparently nobody seems to have noticed that they mislabeled her songs on that channel, too. Yeah, they jumbled up the names, mixing them up. What are the odds that nobody besides me ever sees this? Or even cares?

Hrrumph. Whatever. I still love her, and I always will. And my love is worth that of millions, no billions, of others. So there.

Yeah. Good job on the songs, Cady.

Can’t sleep.

No surprise there, I guess.

You know what I really need? Fentanyl. It’s a sedative, right? I need a lot of it, too.

Three minutes, I would bet. Three minutes until I die. That’s all it would take. Just take them all, all at once. Three minutes, and then all of this goes away. All of my problems, all of… everything. Everything just leaves, forever. And I am free.

Three minutes. I wonder what’s stopping me. I mean, it would be so easy.

sigh…

Fuck.

Yeah, I’m sorry that this is who I am. I really wish that I had done things differently. Maybe done EVERYTHING differently. But I can’t blame the drugs, I can’t. I mean, it’s not their fault… I… don’t know what to do.

What am I supposed to do, here? I can’t sleep. Should I just lay here, wide awake for the next five hours? What am I supposed to do? I just don’t know.

I’ve got Cady’s cover of Burning House on repeat, here. It… helps, I guess. God I wish she was still alive.

I don’t know, maybe I should join her. I don’t know, I mean, it would be so easy, right? I…

I don’t know what to do.

So I guess I’ll just… lay here, until something happens.

Yeah, I guess… so. Might as well. Nothing else to do, anyways, I guess.

If only I was dead myself, lol. Everything would be so much easier.

No, Tom. No. NO. No don’t, don’t do it. No. Now isn’t your time. It’s OK, don’t worry. Cady wouldn’t want this. NOBODY would. Not even you. Just relax, for now. It’s OK, I know it’s hard, I know it hurts, but it’s OK. Just… think, for now.

It’s OK, man.

Just… relax, I guess. Until the sun shines, again.

Because it will.

It’s ok.

I promise. I hope. Maybe. At least… give it another shot, OK? Please?

Yeah… alright.

One more, then. Yet again.

sigh…

Can’t sleep. I was so tired when I went to sleep and now I’m wide awake in the middle of the night again.

I hate sleeping. I just hate it, now. So much. I know, I must hate everything, lol. But seriously… it hurts, though. I’m so tired but I can’t do anything with it, and it hurts. so. MUCH.

I hate it. It fucking HURTS. Everything in body here screams at me when I try to sleep. My mind, my muscles, my bones, my nerves, everything. My soul, my stomach, my eyes, everything. I HATE sleeping. I mean, not that I can do it, anyways.

I don’t know I just hate it know. Oof, it just sucks, and I know that… I feel… that it might be the drugs, but that’s OK, if it’s them. I know the fentanyl loves me, that’s why. I know it. So does the morphine. They love me, so it’s OK.

I mean I now how that sounds but… is that not how it is? I mean, I know that that’s how it is. So… it’s ok, then.

So I got like a couple of gifts from a friend of the family who heard of my… predicament. It helped. I mean, it was two dumb things I got but it’s really nice that I got them. I mean I was still kinda sorta thinking a lot about suicide that morning and the thought that someone cared enough to do that made me resolve to postpone it.

So yeah, the thing is, when I think about suicide, I can actually feel it happening, of course. Weird stuff. I… don’t know. I wish that maybe… I… fuck.

I don’t know. I don’t want to do it… I… it feels… weird, when I think about it. My brains splattering against the wall behind me, you know? It just seems so final… I don’t know.

Gawd it just HURTS. Everything in my body, soul, mind, everything, HURTS. SO. MUCH. Can’t sleep. I know it would help but I can’t. I keep shaking, I need another hit but I can’t. I mean I’m not convulsing as much anymore but I still need it.

I keep thinking of just going ahead and drowning my sorrows again in oceans of drugs. Like, that would be the way to fix everything. Like, or at least, make things better. I mean, I’ve made progress but I’m not sure it’s worth it, you know?

It’s like, fentanyl is my friend. And I can’t… not be with it, you know? It’s like, I need it. It’s been with me for so long that I love it, am in love with it, kinda, in a way. I really want more. Like REALLY. Like, I want so much to tear open my stash and absolutely destroy it. Like, just use ALL of it, to get back to where I was. And I mean it, like seriously, I really, really want that so much incredibly much. Like, I REALLY, REALLY want more of it, right now. Like a LOT. a LOT a LOT. SO MUCH.

Oof, my hands are shaking again. So is everything else. Oof, ahhhhh, ow, lol. I just REALLY need it, lol. It helps me and loves me so much, it does. And I REALLY need it. I just can’t… get AWAY from it. I just can’t. I NEED IT, SO BADLY.

ohhhh… I just… I oh man, I just need it… can’t stop thinking about it… I… really need to use… really badly… need it…

I…… I’m just sitting here, dumbly. It feels so awful. Nobody cares, not really. I hate it. It’s like, I would cry, and I want to, but I’m tired of doing that, too. I’m bored of crying, lol. It’s like the tears are RIGHT THERE but… no… which… is dumb, if I could cry again I might… feel better? Maybe?

Maybe? Is that what happens?

I don’t know. God I wish I was dead, lol. Oh man, if only. I don’t know. I have so much fentanyl in my stash I could kill myself very easily if I wanted to. Like, it would take five minutes, and I would be gone. All of this, gone, forever. So easy. I… don’t know, though.

I’m going back to bed, maybe. Oof. Ow. What am I supposed to do, here? I don’t know.

I’m sorry, world. Honestly. I really am. I didn’t want it to be like this. I’m so incredibly sorry that this is who I am. I’m so sorry, everyone.

Oh, but I can’t see, know. Those tears that I refuse to let out are blurring everything, now. And my hands are refusing to work. Maybe they hate me, too. Like every other part of me does.

I’m… sorry, everyone. And I mean it, so much.

Sorry.

Look, ultimately, it doesn’t matter who wins the election. The system is clearly rigged across the board. This is why of course I didn’t bother voting. Trump isn’t an American, he is an Israeli. You already know what I think, though.

It is very telling that the only time he ever bothered giving his base lip service was when he needed something from them- like an election, or whatever.

But they are all criminals, of course. And this doesn’t excuse the obvious fraud and blatantly felonious actions of the democrats.

Ultimately, I believe I will be vindicated in my beliefs, across the board. Truly, the best thing for patriots to have done was turn on Trump the day he took office, and attack him as if he was a traitor. Because he was. Thing is- you need to stick to your guns.

The whole “Trump” crowd here- Gab folks, Alex Jones followers, Republicans, PUA artists, military types, the VDARE crowd, etc., royally fucked up, here. And I do mean all of them. They were lazy and stopped fighting back- basically, started thinking wrongly, as though Trump was “/ourguy” or whatever. He wasn’t. Trump is a Zionist extremist who sees this country as merely a host for the parasite that is the Jewish state. Seriously, guys. That’s it.

Turning him into something he isn’t benefits nobody but the oligarchs. It is most important that you fight CORRECTLY, rather than “hard”. Don’t fight with “everything you have” or whatever. Fight with your brains. Do it the right way- and start with an accurate assessment of things as the foundation for your actions and beliefs.

So, the principal failing of Trump’s supporters was very specifically a lack of listening to me. They wandered away from me, eyes ablaze with the naive possibility that maybe “democracy” would actually work, once. Had they listened to me more intently, and I mean to the point of actually studying the things I write and contemplating my warnings and philosophies- basically, if they had not dumbly wandered off the pasture onto GOP-land, they would be in a better place right now, legally, if not emotionally as well.

Guys- you need to follow ME. Not… THAT guy. Seriously. I mean, isn’t that obvious?

Well, if it wasn’t then, it surely is, now. Without question, lol.

Guys- democracy is a fool’s game, especially in this country. And you know who plays fool’s games?

Yeah, that’s right. Fools. Of course.

Because we’re not a democracy, here. We’re a plutocratic zionist empire with a calcified oligarchy. You can’t “vote” your way out of this situation.

No matter who wins, if you are unhappy before the election cycle begins, you will not benefit. That’s how it’s designed.

So- don’t vote. Ever, for any reason. Only downsides come from it. Only defeats, and crushing disappointments. And I wrong?

Don’t vote. FIGHT. Fight, instead.

Ummm… okayyyy.

Well then. The Democratic party is apparently hilariously, side-splittingly corrupt, lol. Like, they’re so extremely criminal and hyper- sociopathic that their moral perversion goes well beyond that of merely “crazy” and into the realm of… IDK, that bizarro dimension from Star Trek, lol. I mean, I know, but I honestly can’t think of any other way to quantify the alien-ness of what I’m even seeing, here. LMAO. I mean… Hooooooly shit, guys. Hahahahahahahaha!!!

Okayyy. So, it seems as though the Democratic party has decided to steal the election by literally stealing the election. I mean, brazenly, openly and obviously, like they were severely autistic shoplifters. Like, they’re trying to steal the damn thing IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, WHILE EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT THEM TRYING TO STEAL IT. And they’re fumbling it, dropping it on the floor while desperately trying to stuff it into their purse, and picking it up again, and dropping it again, and mistakenly kicking it into the corner, and then running after it so it doesn’t get away, and the whole time, everyone else is looking at them and is like… what the fuck are these people even doing? I mean, this can’t possibly be what it looks like, right? I mean, look at how stupid and… bafflingly criminal they look! But like, yeah, they actually mean it, lol. Holy shit, guys!!! LOL.

So uh, yeah, what beautiful comedy this is. No Marx brothers skit was as hysterical as what we’re seeing here. LOL.

Ah, so, what now? I have no love for Trump, but this… this kind of obvious criminality and incomprehensible corruption would be considered over the top even in some third world African style dictatorship. I mean, it’s so blatant. It’s just preposterous how dishonest and virtually inhuman Democrats look right now. Even if they “win”, I cannot imagine that they won’t regret it, long term. Hollllly shit, lol.

Well then. What an unbelievably embarrassing and shameful circus this is. So, of course, America is done. There is no way to respect a country that behaves like this. No way, it’s impossible. This whole thing is just so shamefully, catastrophically stupid. I cannot imagine that any country watching us, right now, wants to be a democracy, too. They would be retarded to follow in our footsteps. We are not a serious country. We are an “economic zone” ruled over by children, petty thieves, and megalomaniacal oligarchs.

I don’t believe there is any way back to being respectable after this preposterous shitshow. Like, this is one step too far, if by step I mean “mile”, and if by “mile” I mean a gigaparsec. lol.

Whatever. This place fucking sucks. Go ahead and toss your flags, you won’t need them anymore. And I say that as a conservative. That this kind of obvious corruption could even occur, let alone succeed, shows how soulless and dumb the whole “American Experiment” is. There is no reason to respect this country, anymore. It’s past success was a fluke, and it deserves no further success going forward.

I mean, we all know that nothing is going to happen to any criminal, here. There will of course be no prosecutions, and no hint of democracy, here, anywhere you happen to look.

Unless by some miracle some semblance of… law is restored, feel free to break any and all emotional ties to this shithole. Arm yourselves and prepare for violence, because violence is coming. Get ready, now.

Basically, they’re going to try to kill us, if they can get away with it. So prepare, now. And ditch your “morals”, guys. That stuff is only a concern in some kind of country like a Republic, or perhaps, a democracy, lol- you know, some kind of country in which you can have some faith that others around you have some interest in seeing you safe, if not happy.

Seriously- prepare for war. And always remember who it is that has betrayed you. ALL OF THEM, Trump included. He did nothing to stop any of this. All of the violence, all of the censorship, everything- he didn’t give two shits about any of it until it affected him, personally. He didn’t care when he had the chance to do anything about it, doesn’t care now, and never will, despite what he might say on twitter, as long as he has one of those.

Basically, get ready. And DO NOT WAIT TO GO ON THE OFFENSIVE. Hurt them, badly. Valhalla awaits! There is glory, and beauty in war- especially, a just war, a war to right epic wrongs and save your own life, if not the lives of your family and friends.

Arm yourselves, and strike. And I don’t necessarily mean violence- I consider what I’m doing right now to be just fine. If everyone did what I’m doing now, no shots would need to be fired, at all, for a complete victory. But you WILL need weapons for self defense, at least.

So- attack! I mean, why not? It’s fun. Do it your own way. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. And go for the throat and do not let go until the target is DEAD. Remember- they mean to kill us, and rape and eat our children, or whatever the fuck it is these nutcases do. Act accordingly.

And- your skin color is your uniform. Let your race guide you. All else is details.

Have fun!