Taylor Swift is at turns a fascinating and maddening person.
Last week, after she won all the Grammys, I nearly posted this on Twitter:
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So… last night, she won everything. Just like I wanted her to. Because I love her too much. I can’t… STOP. I mean, I just CAN’T.
I’m ruining everything, aren’t I? I’m putting Trump in the White House, I’m letting Tay win everything, ever…
I’m not being impartial anymore. I’m playing favorites. I’m so sorry, but Taylor may never leave the #1 spot. Literally.
I could do that, I mean, keep her there forever… and I WANT to do that… and I MIGHT do that… but IDK.
Deep down, I know that that might not be good, but I can’t help it. I NEVER should have seen her in concert that first time.
I mean, the tickets were free but… AUGGGGGHHHHHH. I hope not, but everyone should prepare for her to never leave the #1 spot.
Like ever. Never ever.
*sigh*…
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This didn’t mean much. It was just one of my little nervous… things, that I typed out and didn’t post.
I thought a bit after this. Why was I so concerned that night?
Isn’t this what I wanted? My girlfriend sweeps the Grammys again, I’m putting a far right conservative in the White House, and… everything is as I want it, at least on paper. So why the breakdown?
It’s a good question. Well, there are a few things to consider, here. My real life isn’t doing too well, and Tay is, as always, leaving me out of her little adventures. And, of course, I can be histrionic sometimes, even when things are going well.
But mostly… it’s because of other things.
I haven’t blogged much lately for a few very important reasons. First, there’s ISIS, a terrorist organization very obviously inspired by me. I’ve been watching them closely and I see me in them, and far too much so for me to be comfortable. I don’t like it when the things I say and think are used to attack myself and my way of life. That upsets me enormously.
It has upset me so much, in fact, that I’ve almost stopped blogging altogether. It’s just such an offense to me that I can’t even stand it. I cannot believe that I’m the inspiration for “Islamic” radicalism. I can’t believe it because I don’t want to believe it. It’s a perversion of everything I hold dear- politically, culturally, and even religiously.
To lay out the obvious, I’m a Satanist, and it offends me enormously to see what I believe in distorted and twisted and used against me in the way that the creators of ISIS did. The masterminds behind ISIS- not Muslims, any of them- have done sacrilege to my most tightly held beliefs, and it really, really offends me. I hate it.
And ISIS is bringing up the even more disturbing thought that I may be the inspiration behind Al-Qaeda as well. This might be a stretch, I hope, since they came on the scene so long ago, but it’s a possibility. Since ISIS is based on me, what about Al-Qaeda and the 9-11 “hijackers”? I was a college student, too, at that time, and my line of thinking mirrored theirs back then very closely in some ways. Did they base “9-11” on me, too?
I hope not. I really hope not. If they did it would be too horrible for me to even process.
How can they do that to me? Those monsters! I mean, not ISIS, they’re just a bunch of actors, but the oligarchs here, and the Zionists, and the EU. They’ve twisted my words and thoughts into something that attacks everything that I cherish the most, and it just feels so violating that I can’t even stand it, and at times I’ve felt like I just wanted to chuck all of this stuff overboard because what they use my ideas and words for is just so offensive and overall horrible that it’s been literally incomprehensible to me at times.
If you doubt any of what I’m saying here, just look. Look at any of the prominent ISIS figures, such as “Jihadi John”. Look at any of their propaganda videos. Look at any of the “execution” videos. It’s all me. ALL OF IT. They’re using my own life and my religion against me!
Fuckers.
But… all’s well that ends well.
The foolishness that is ISIS is sealing the doom of it’s backers. Europe is turning.
The times are changing, now, for the better. Old fires are being relit.
See… in a small way… in a slight way… ISIS is good for me. In a way, they’re doing my dirty work for me. Kinda.
What I wanted, years ago, when I started my Twitter war, was to bring about a sea change in Europe’s thought. I wanted to racially inflame them- to start a fire underneath them, so that they would take up arms to defend themselves against the Zionist bankers and the browning of their continent.
Why Europe? It’s part of the plan, see. I mean, the overall plan, that I won’t tell you.
And ISIS is doing what I need for me. What its backers wanted it to get it isn’t getting. It’s backfiring.
I’m going to get what *I*want out of this. I’m going to get a resurgent European right, and with that, one of my life’s ultimate goals will be completed.
*Whew*.
And secondly… I’ve been doing some experimenting. Not on others, this time, but on myself. I’ve been experimenting with ways to improve my own set of circumstances.
This is another reason why I’ve been staying away from Hollywood, and blogging, for the past few months. I’ve been keeping my contact with these things at a minimum while I worked on projects designed to improve my own position in things in the “real” (i.e. non-psychic) world. And I think I’ve done it.
My projects and experiments are complete. I have things set up correctly now.
Now… I feel as though I could step out in the real world (i.e. not my parents’ basement) and do things correctly. If I wanted, I could snag a Hollywood girl for myself, easily. Or not. It depends on what I want and need.
Good.
And thirdly… Tay upsets me in general, like this weekend, when she got to live out ”Seeing Pink” for real and didn’t invite me, as usual. I almost broke up with her last night, until I saw the pics of her leaving the Vogue offices with that hair and those pants.
I guess she loves me after all.