Hmmmn. Well….. wow.
You know, I was just doing some thinking. Like, A LOT of thinking.
God damn, I’m such a slut.
You know, I just reread my last post here, and jeez, I seriously cannot even believe myself at this point.
Truth- I started dating Karlie because I wanted to gain leverage over Taylor, and then I continued it after that was no longer relevant because 1) I needed more leverage over the traditional (supermodel-based) fashion industry, 2) I enjoyed the sheer exhibitionism of it, 3) she was from the Midwest like me, so we had that kinda compatibility thing going, and 4) I needed a tall girl to have sex with because all of my other girls are so much shorter than me. And then- after all of that wasn’t so important, I continued the affair anyways until it’s final days because I wanted leverage over the freaking US President, despite me secretly hating her new family. I just didn’t tell her, that’s all. Because that wasn’t to my advantage.
Gawwwwwd, Tom.
You know, I have pondered here and elsewhere about me possibly being a glorified hooker or escort. And now, looking at relationship with Karlie, it’s… reaaaallly hooker-ish. Backstabbing, catty, and vicious about sex in the way that a stereotypical real- world hooker would do things. TBH, it’s rather shockingly close to the strategies that gold diggers use.
“Rather shockingly close”. Right, Tom.
You know, a long time ago, I used to read online accounts from people who worked in shelters and charities that help reformed streetwalkers, and one thing I remember from those accounts was how consistent they were when describing the personalities of the ex- prostitutes. They all had a similar outlook and set of instinctive practices regarding sex and relationships and such, and, TBH, I saw in myself something similar. Perhaps that’s why I read so much of that stuff; it was a way for me to dissect my own inclinations.
Well….. IDK. I’m not sure I like where this is going, so I’m stopping here.
* sigh…… *