Ouch.
It’s just that it’s so hard, so very hard, to keep my eyes open, just as it’s so impossible to relax.
Again another overdose, just like the others. Never stops because I can’t stop. I’ll die I know, but I just can’t stop.
One day one of these things is going to get me if I’m not careful. Tramadol, fentanyl, hydromorphone, hydrocodone, morphine, pramipexole, neurotin, ambien, xanax, and who the fuck knows what else I have in my drawers. Ugh, so dangerous. And VERY high dosages- basically max legal level- of ALL of those listed. Even I will die if I’m not careful. And apparently that’s a bad thing. At least, that’s what they tell me. Who knows, maybe it would be the greatest thing ever. Could be.
Though I won’t though.
But whatever, this is stupid. I suppose I’ve embarrassed myself enough this morning.
God I’m just such a ditz.
But whatever. My eyes. It’s so weird, my eyes can’t close as they struggle to keep open. So weird, my body is so confused and overwhelmed.
Well, I’m done, I guess. It’s passed. I’m still here. For now, at least. lol.
sigh