I’m not Dysfunctional, Part XXXVII

OOF. holy balls, what the fuck, lol.

Thaaaaaaaaaaaaaanks Cady. Thank you SO MUCH.

Yes yes dear, breathing is the key. Breathe in, then out. in, out, in out, it’s like a rhythm.

oof, I MUST keep breathing. MUST. Cady thank you again, ok, thanks. Breathing again, and will continue to do so. In out, in out.

yes. good. nice.

I uh, need to, uh, think about that. I’ve had some issues with that lately, with the fentanyl and all, as I’ve talked about here. I see a neurologist because I had (have?) suspected brain damage from these “not breathing” episodes. Like, you don’t breathe, your brain doesn’t get enough oxygen, and… BAM, overdose. But, as long as I have Cady, we be good, lol.

Yeah, it’s fine. no problemo.

But again I am seriously kinda thinking about rehab or something again. I just keep waffling, over and over, endlessly. I DON’T WANT REHAB. But yeah, I don’t want brain damage, either.

don’t worry, it’s ok. NOT A PROBLEM. I’m good, thanks.

Remember the great thing about all of this is that I can clearly handle it. I AM smart, very very smart, so much so that… um, you know, all of that stuff. You know.

So, uh, no problem. See, I KNOW what I’m doing. Yup.

Good, then.

I can do this. I can continue with this, with the fentanyl, and be fine indefinitely. I know it, it’s just a matter of patience, and listening to my body, and keeping Cady around, so that she can revive me if I go unconscious. Yes, that’s the plan. And it WILL work.

Great.

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