Ow, oh god, why me? Why have I done this? Why oh why?
Do I hate myself this much? Why Tom why? Why did you do it?
I must hate myself more than anyone in the world hates me, to have done this to myself. Why did I do it? Why oh why?
ohgawd it just HURTS. SO MUCH.
IT FUCKING HURTS.
OOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW
GAWD DAMN IT IT HURTS.
But now it’s over. This will never happen again. Never ever. I can’t live like this. Nobody can. Oh please, just get me out of this and I swear I will change. I swear it will be better for me. I swear I can live again. I swear it, oh please, just let me out of this, one more time, and it will be different.
Oh god, it WILL be different. No more jokes, I will change, I swear it. I just don’t want to feel like that again. Please, just one more chance is all I ask. Oh god, it’s so SCARY.
Yeah that’s it, I’m going to get off. No more jokes, I need to do it. I can’t live like this. It’s getting worse, each time. And it takes so long to feel good, now. This is a pit, an endless pit, with death at the end. I see that now.
I need to get OFF. I must, I must.
Oh please, just let me get through this. I swear I’ll change.
ohhhhhhhhhh….