It’s like everything’s so wrong, and it’s like it will never be right again.
Like, I feel so cold, and so WARM, at the same time. Like, it doesn’t even make sense.
NONE of this makes sense.
And I’m trapped. I can’t stop MOVING and twitching. Everything burns, except for the parts of me that are frozen. My eyes burn, my arms burn, my chest burns. My hands are stiff and cold. My toes are frozen solid. My knees are shivering, my thighs are BURNING. Everything is all messed up. I can’t STOP this. I don’t know what to do but take more fentanyl.
I seriously don’t know what to even do. I don’t know, and it’s scary.
Saw more youtube videos today about this. They kinda helped, but mostly, they just scared me more. I don’t want to end up on the streets. I don’t want to die. But I don’t know what to do.
I just need some HELP, god damn it! Fuck. And I don’t have a lot of money so I need it to be free.
Or- I need to kill myself. One of the two, either way, I need OUT of this.
It’s like, I’ve lost my patience.
I can’t take 6 months of feeling like this. I mean, does it get better? Ever? Hello? Anyone? I KNOW you’re reading this.
Ah fuck, I mean, everything that equalized because I took more fentanyl. Yay? Is that good? I suspect not, right?
So what do I do, then? What the hell am I supposed to do?
I don’t wanna die. I mean, you know, not really.
FUCK.