I just want to scream. Really, really loudly. I have to be so so quiet and bottle everything in and it hurts so much sometimes and I hate it. Fuck.
What I REALLY want, at least right now, is to go back to cutting myself. Seems like a fine way to pass the time.
I just want to feel that wonderful, addictive endorphin rush again. That, and I want a different kind of problem. I’m sick of worrying about the same old, same old problems. I want a new and novel one, and an injury is just the ticket. The accompanying light-headedness is a bonus. Lose enough blood and you get to escape for a bit! It’s just what I need.
I am sooooo well adjusted.