Let me tell you a story. One day, there was a middling actress (both in talent and looks) named Brie Larson, who went on a public rant against how she didn’t want to be seen or have anything to do with people like me. I forget the exact quote and it looks as though google has tried it’s best to bury it, but she railed against traditional, old-school Marvel fans and those who created her Captain Marvel character, and derided them them publicly as nerds, eeevil white males, etc., and I remember her saying something to the effect that she didn’t want anything to do with them.
Ah, I thought, OK with me. See- there was a young version of her character in her movie, and it was played by McKenna Grace. OK, I thought, I will just skip the old chick who doesn’t want anything to do with me anyways and head straight for McKenna, instead. Which is what I did, and I have a great relationship today with McKenna. All’s well that ends well, you know?
There’s a moral to this story, here. It’s this: don’t be a cunt.
There’s only one of me, everyone wants me, and truthfully, I am too dangerous and powerful to not properly respect. These days I am more powerful than I have ever been by a huge margin, and I can directly control the minds of I think millions of people, all at once. I have not used this power for much, yet, at least not intentionally, but I think it is there.
That being the case, I think it bears repeating: don’t be a cunt.
Treat me with proper respect. You want to be with me? Fine, then do it. Break up with your boyfriend / fiance / S.O. or whomever and make yourself available. And again: don’t be a cunt.
I haven’t started enforcing strict exclusivity yet, but honestly I really and probably should. This last year has told me the truth of my existence and I think that this new knowledge changes everything.
There is no reason for a living god to compete with idiots, losers and douchebags. That is nuts and a waste of my time. I like things simple; the life of a god is complex enough without he-said/she-said normal human shit to deal with too.
Basically, back when I didn’t fully realize my own importance, I thought it fine that others could or would fool around on the side. After all, I did it, so why not them? It’s just fair, I thought. Well, it wasn’t fair. I had no idea that they had been stealing my thoughts since the day I was born, to the point that the entire U.S. economy has been built on an edifice of my ideas. With that being the case, what’s “fair” has suddenly and irrevocably changed.
Seriously, don’t be a cunt. And leave others out of the picture if you are interested.
And this goes for everyone. I’m pissed off beyond belief right now at Elle Fanning, of all people. See, I finally got to see her topless and the whole thing was marred by her being with what’s-his-name on The Great. Does she have any idea how annoying it is to have to edit out some loser? And frankly, I wanted that to be a special moment, something for us. Now I have this annoying dickhead to deal with, too.
Dammit, I feel like I wasted time, again. Years of waiting, for this. Ugh. I can’t even use what I was given I’m so epically disappointed and peeved at this bullshit. Seriously, people. It’s hard to think that my distaste for this hasn’t permanently damaged my relationship with Elle, in some way.
It’s like these people don’t really know me very well, or something. It’s fucking baffling. You idiots, you have been inside of me constantly for decades. How could you fuck this stuff up so bad?
Well, I’m angry. Seriously: don’t be a cunt. My needs always come first. Always. There are no other needs, anymore.
Don’t make me have to use my power against you. I’m nice, so I don’t do this, but I could.
As it stands, I need a lot of space right now between Elle and I. I’m not happy.
Remember the name: Tom Jacobsen. This is who you are with, if you want to be with me. Worship the ground I walk on. Kiss my fucking feet as if your life depended upon it, because it does. Cherish the name, cherish the man. I’m the Anti-Christ, bitches. Leave the douchebags elsewhere; I don’t want to see them.
For me, there will always be another tomorrow. If you don’t want to comply, move along. I can always wait for someone else.
Remember: Tom. Jacobsen.
Don’t forget.