Hmmn. Well, a few idle thoughts here. I guess I need to muse again.
It seems the FBI took down Z-Lib. A shame, I used it for a few things in the past, mostly for finding really rare books and very old books that I could not find elsewhere. AFAIK, I didn’t use it for anything new-ish.
But in light of this I went and downloaded from other sources some difficult to find books on occult subjects that I’ve been meaning to find for awhile now, since I’ve resolved to spending time on meditative practices and occult subjects and such. So, I used other sources to find old works on topics as diverse as astrology, palmistry, and miscellaneous but important occult books, like rare English translations of works from Anton Mesmer and the like.
Amusingly, I found on archive.org the FBI files on Wilhelm Reich. I downloaded those too, I guess for grins.
I think that the overarching theme here is that I want to complete the general occult studies that I began back in 2008-ish, before I got overly interested in things like politics, and the day to day minutiae of life with actual girlfriends, as opposed to just… chicks I look at and fantasize about.
I want at least an entry level to intermediate understanding of topics like astrology, palmistry, the tarot, alchemical magic, sound and vibrational magic, numerology, and the few remaining “alternative health” topics I’ve not mastered yet, like I guess iridology, and a couple other very obscure topics I’m honestly having a bit of trouble remembering the names of.
And I want to finish my studies in the various forms of meditative practices I’ve picked up over the years.
Whether of not any of this is scientific is immaterial to what I’m trying to do here. I’m just looking, I guess, and trying to find the diamonds in the rough.
Speaking of such things, I’ve also incorporated a daily skin brushing routine into my habits. It’s… well, skin brushing, lol. I was taught how to do it correctly and efficiently by one of my old naturopathic mentors, and I already had a very good skin brush I purchased years ago available to me, so… why not. Might help. The skin is an organ too, right?
Right.
I’ve resolved as well to finally getting rid of that last layer of fat I’ve been carrying around for god knows how many years. I could have gotten rid of it before, but jeebus, I keep getting distracted. Literally, the whole “being distracted” thing never ends with me.
Or maybe I’m just… doing too many things at once. Or I’m a bit too flighty.
Or both. Or… who knows, lol. I mean it’s not like it’s that important, really, in the grand scheme of things. Seriously. It really, really isn’t.
But it’s still annoying, no matter how insignificant it may be, so I’ve changed my exercise routines around, and the changes I’ve made seem to be working. Instead of doing pilates once in a while with leg weights, I’m doing the full gigantic routine twice a day without them, if at all possible. It’s taking its time and it’s brutal as hell but it’s working for my own purposes. And I’ve dropped the dumbbells entirely for the time being.
Yeesh. Seriously, tho. I hope it’s fucking worth it. I hate to say it but the pushup routine I invented has added not much mass at all. It’s kinda disappointing, honestly. Like, it seriously is. But, whatever. Ugh, maybe I’ll need to fucking change that, as well. Or- maybe throw in the towel in regards to looking “swole” altogether and just be happy with what I have. Well, whatever.*
But I’m getting wayyyy off topic, here. I think that with time and thought I can combine the various meditative techniques I’ve gained, and possibly stuff like astrology as well, into something interesting, and possibly unique. We’ll have to see.
In regards to relationship stuff, I was just thinking the other day about the difficulty of someone like myself studying something like… palmistry, lel. Or iridology. I mean, who TF would I study on? Well… ah, I had a revelation, then. There is always my girlfriends, right? I mean I have a million or something pictures of them, so why not?
That might be an interesting take on this stuff. The other day I was kinda wondering where else I could take these relationships of mine, but now I think I might have something else I need to use them for, at least recreationally. Hmmn.
And should I learn more about astrology, there is no reason I can’t study it and the zodiac using what I know about my girlfriends’ own birthdays and lives, and the trajectories of their careers, and such.
It’s kind of an interesting take on this stuff, and one I may pursue in the future. Of course, it would be best pursued using stuff prior to this date, because they wouldn’t have been aware of this angle before now.
But, still.
My girlfriends have in the past been very good test subjects for other occult practices I’ve been interested in. Sex magic, hypnosis, necromancy, runic magic, empathic and telepathic communication, spellcasting, demonology, and… a whole spectrum of other stuff. I mean, why not this stuff, too?
It’s pretty weird. Every time I think I’ve exhausted what I can do with them, I turn over another stone. But it’s kinda always been like that.
They might also be good test subjects for experimental targeted meditative practices, now that I think about it. See what this or that does to them, and why.
Machiavellian perhaps but honestly IDC. Considering what these people have done to me I’m not concerned about such things.
I guess that I have to be careful about myself, tho, lol. Some of this stuff is occult for a reason, and I have to make sure that I don’t get lost down some weird hallway or something, no matter how interesting it might be to look into.
I mean… real life is important, too. And since I’m no longer as sick or injured or whatever (apparently), I will need to keep “real” stuff high on the priority list, and maybe higher than it has been in recent years.
So I’ll keep that in mind. At any rate, tho, the winters here in Northern Chicagoland can be brutal, and regardless of all other concerns I will be spending time indoors this coming season, and I’ll need something to do after Disney+ stuff becomes boring. So, here we are.
And for one final thought- occult studies, have, overall, been good to me. I think that what got the process of my overall healing underway was when I killed off some astral parasites years ago. I think they were draining my astral/elemental energies. With them gone, I could take care of the physical ones, and that was the clincher for getting my health really back on track.
* An added note- please remember that this does NOT impact my relationships in any way. Seriously, if I’ve been dating you for ten years, IDGAF about your specific body fat percentage, just as long as you take care of yourself, which everyone I’m dating already does. I mean, seriously, don’t worry about it. I see myself as a kind of an ongoing science experiment sometimes and I just wanna see what it’s like, out of curiosity. Honestly that’s it.