Just to follow up on the few thoughts earlier:
I decided to unfollow all the Laura accounts, and Vanessa too, because I reeeeeally can’t deal with this right now, b/c I have things going on, things that are more important, and, frankly, it’s like… I just can’t deal with the reality of that being the only IRL (i.e. face-to-…face (ish(?))) interaction with her I’ll ever have, lol.
IDK, I mean… it’s like… I’ve had so many social media interactions with celebs that were really good, lol. Likes and stuff, I mean. And I know this is very shallow but… I’ve gotten many likes from Kathryn Newton and had a shedload of great interactions with Meg Donnelly, I mean I singlehandedly got her back and posting on twitter (I mean, almost singlehandedly, but- you catch my drift) and aside from those incredibly epic twitter sprees during her two Cinderella Story playthroughs (which I wonder if she even remembers frankly) I’m not sure if we ever connected. Or maybe… we did, and I’m forgetting? Maybe I’m forgetting.
IDK.
But… it’s like… you know?
I don’t know.
Well… I have to go back to real life, and that kind of… sucks?
Ugh. But real life isn’t even real life- not anymore? I mean, now that we’re all transhuman cyborgs? Christ, what the fuck?
It boggles the mind, frankly, that someone who has been so connected with so many people with SO MUCH power and financial resource would be so, I don’t know, isolated. And- destitute, technically? Or, at least, in proportion?
Not being an idiot, I am of course well aware that these people are wealthy. No need to elaborate further.
But like… Jeezus. What the fuck? I mean I’m not begging on the streets but man, what is the mechanism to get them to toss me a bone or something? Is there one? I don’t understand, genuinely.
Maybe that’s the lesson, here. Turn inward?
Or is that just running away?
Fuck, I don’t know. Seriously, I have no idea, like at all.
My Disney+ is coming up for renewal soon and I’m debating cutting it this time. Too much money. Maybe I’ll renew over the summer, I don’t know. I mean… it’s just… damn, I don’t know. This stuff occupies sooo much of my headspace, you know? Like wayyyyyyy too much. Way, way too much. Maybe I would feel better, freer, happier without it hanging over me like some kind of everpresent guillotine.
It’s just… it feels like “work”, rather than “fun” if I’m being honest. Like life has become inverted somehow, weirdly.
It’s just…… toooooooooo much