Sighinide

*Ahem*. Well, I need to start blogging again, and this seems like as good as any place to start, soooooo…

Well………..

Wow.

*Ahem*.

Well, I re-watched this moofie two days ago, and Goddamn.

GODDAMN.

Well, re-reading my first post on this flick, I said that this moofie would require multiple viewings and I was for sure correct. I also noted correctly the references to Zoey Duetch. What I did not notice were the references to Zooey Deschanel, but that’s kinda another story, I guess.

I was right in watching this flick before the release of Laura’s debut album, since the two are fundamentally and bafflingly, if not shockingly, connected. Also interesting are the many many references to the series Star Vs. the Forces of Evil that are liberally layered throughout the flick.

Seriously, tho. Is there anything on Disney+ that doesn’t have references to the Maranos in it?

And am I correct in thinking that “Zoë” here in Saving Zoë is a reference to the actress Zooey in Franny and Zooey from J.D. Salinger? I May be an Actress, but I Can’t Fake How I Feel? No kidding, Laura. You don’t say!

I think I get it, now. I mean… I think so. It’s like… it’s still hazy, but the pieces are coming together.

It’s like… I didn’t get it, at first. Laura’s album, I mean. I listened to it, and I liked it, but something escaped me. I didn’t understand it on some level until I realized what it was that I May be an Actress, but I Can’t Fake How I Feel actually is. I think… it’s an instruction manual.

And if it is, this would prove beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was right 100% about the Marano family and their place in the Hollywood machine.

The Maranos are, um, Marranos, lol. A kind of hidden nobility. They are people who pretend to be basic and powerless (queue up Laura’s song) but they’re anything but. They’re a “power behind the throne” type of family.

This concept brings to mind to me the legends of kids and destinies being, *ahem*, Switched at Birth.

Verrrrry interesting stuff, for sure.

Ohhhhhh I get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

BASIC!!!!!

Of course!!!!!!

Kim Possible– the theme song! And in the first line, no less!

“I’m you’re basic average girl / And I’m here to save the world / You can’t stop me ’cause I’m Kim Possible”

Basic! I get it!

Goddamn!!!

“It took me a long time but I took a closer look and confirmed yes you are basic” with the magnifying glass and… YES THAT’S IT!

Holy fuckballs!

I’m literally living in the middle of a real life Kim Possible episode. Holy moly! Or- maybe, that’s just what my life is. Stunning.

Gob-smackingly so, really.

Alright, oh man, one more of these, lmao.

lolllllllll.

Very funny. Very very funny, Cady. Took me ten whole years to get the joke but yes, I see it.

*drrrrrrrrrrrrr*

And yes, I am indeed very, very… basic. *sigh*. At least, compared to others, I guess.

*sigh*

I get it.

Sorry?

At least she didn’t call me dumb.

Kind of deflating, tho, isn’t it?

Just to make sure- she wasn’t just… making fun of me, right? Because that would be horrible.

Yesterday, I was scrolling through my Cady insta archive and BAM, it hit me, like some kind of freight train, out of nowhere. You know that episode of Kim Possible that references Cady? Well… Cady herself references that same episode, over and over again, throughout her own Instagram feed!

I was floored by this, utterly floored, and then even more so when I found a picture particularly reminiscent of the Cady scene itself. In the Insta post Cady is seen with a magnifying glass (classic spy equipment) staring directly at the camera (i.e. the viewer, well- me, in particular, I will get to that in a moment) with the caption “It took me a long time but I took a closer look and confirmed yes you are basic” which… meant nothing to me at the time, but now…

Jeebus, it’s so creepy, lol. It’s kinda like she knew.

This was followed three days later with a post in which Cady is holding luggage with the caption of “Help”. In the KP episode, the Cady reference is a weirdly tragic goodbye in an airport.

But I swear to God there must be dozens of references to the particular episode of KP all over her Instagram. And maybe… nah. That would be a bridge too far, even for me. Right? Right.

Jeezus, what the fuck?

Sorry, but this stuff continually blows my mind.

But I mean… alright, so what have we learned, here, from all of this?

I think the whole thing was a setup, obvs. IDK how it was done, mostly, but… yeah. It’s pretty obvious that “Cady Groves” was set up many years ago to do a few things in a certain order, with those things being these things, which actually did not happen as planned:

1. Get my interest
2. Get me to listen to her music
3. Get me to crush on her
4. Get her and her “fiance” together, who was supposed to be “the love of her life”
5. Kill Cady at a time in which things were going badly for me
6. Compound my woes by making me sad that things didn’t turn out well for her

LEL. Seriously, I think that might have been the plan, looking back on it, and judging stuff by this KP episode. I mean… IDK 100% of course, I’m defo filling in the blanks here, but you get the idea. Plans change.

I think the change that had to be made was that Cady couldn’t stand the “real-life” “BF/fiance” whatever-the-fuck they tried to force her to be with and she stood her ground and made a play to just be with me, solely. Seriously- that loser just doesn’t begin to compare.

So once she saw that that worthless idiot was going to get in the way of being with the man she genuinely, truly loved, she changed the gameplan and pushed that guy out the window at the first chance she got.

Interestingly, that was the… feeling I got at the time, myself. I didn’t have any facts or evidence to back it up, but it was a hint, being whispered to me by some spirit in the aether (or perhaps by Cady herself), that that’s how it was.

Hmmmmn.

And… she tried, I know she did, but maybe some things just can’t be changed, tragically.

IDK.

Well… I keep… learning stuff.

Man, whoever thought I’d be resurrecting this series?

You know- there’s more there, isn’t there? In Cady’s instagram. I know there is. Hidden stuff, probably a lot of it, probably a ton of stuff, probably aimed at yours truly, all of it. I suppose her Oct 2014 admonition to “Seek Truth” is a clue, here. lol.

But Cady aside somewhat, her death was supposed to elicit a change within myself- an aspiration to greater heights and a desire to fulfill my destiny. This is referenced directly within the episode- “Change” in Ron Stoppable is mentioned directly, specifically, in reference to the Cady character tragically leaving the stage.

I guess it worked, didn’t it? It’s probably taking longer than anyone planned it to- real life tends to be that way, as opposed to pretend celebrity life- but I guess it worked.

Kinda sucks tho, doesn’t it?

You guys are real assholes, truly. Grade A, major league, colossal assholes of galactic if not universal proportions.

Well, at least now I understand those Debby pictures lol.

*sigh*

Basic… basic…

WTF did she even mean, exactly? She didn’t really think I was dumb, right? I mean, innocent, sure. That’s obvious. Naive? Okay, fine. On occasion. But…

Basic?

Dammit, lol.

I’ll get back to Kim Possible in a bit, but I wanted to say something more about Cady Groves, I guess.

Does anyone remember a lonnnnng time ago, when I bubbled a few somewhat incoherent yet very, very sincere apologies to Cady here, on this very blog?

I think on some level that is a moment in which things “clicked” for a number of the girls I was dating.

A lot of people offer up to celebs fawning and adulation, many give them criticism, and many more give them jealously. Some give them love, others hatred. Many people fear them. But nobody, really, looks them in the eyes or writes to them directly and says “You know… I’m Sorry.” Very few people do this, I bet.

Especially, not of those who know them, and who know of how things run, at least a little bit, on the other side.

I’m not dumb. I know the secrets at this point, or at least, the one I can discern, based on where I sit. I know that E! True Hollywood Stories is a bunch of fictional nonsense. It’s like… I get it. I know that some or all of the “celebs” I date have gone through some very, very bad stuff. Or at least… unusual… type-stuff. I am not jealous of them, not anymore, lol.

There are good reasons why so many of them want a part of the life I have led as opposed to parts of the lives they have led, for sure. Money and glamour are not as important as some believe them to be.

Well… IDK. I don’t want to turn this into something more morose than it already is. But I guess I can wrap it up saying that I’m sorry to Cady now for a whole ‘nother set of reasons than the last time, lol.

Well, I’m gonna need to touch on this subject again when I finish up talking about KP, believe it or not, so I’ll finish this here.

Hmmmmn.

Hmmn.

Well, then.

So, I’m continuing to work my way through the last season of Kim Possible. The second to last episode contains references to my future relationships with Charlotte Lawrence, Kat McNamara, and Kathryn Newton, incredibly. A three in one. Very impressive.

So, it continues then the running theme of the season, which was to broadcast my future relationships to, I guess, the powers that be, or the general audience, or… IDK. Me, maybe. IDK.

So I was settled in and watching the almost-last episode of the series, Graduation, Part 1, when I was blindsided, and I mean utterly shellshocked, by a reference to my future love with, of all people, Cady Groves.

Alright, I’m sure that I’m the only human on Earth who has ever caught this, but it’s there, plain as day.

I don’t know how I feel about this one. I’m kinda… yeah. I mean, I get it, at least, now I do, I understand Cady’s real situation, and it sure as fuck wasn’t alcoholism, lol. I know what happened to her, IRL. Like, for real. I get it. The truth there goes wayyyyyy beyond anything that has ever been made “public”. It’s all there, in her lyrics, if you know how to read them correctly, which few people do.

I don’t want to say it, lol. You can’t make me.

I’m not dumb, either. I have considered the possibility that Cady was forced into an early retirement and hidden away somewhere, or… something else. Who knows, I don’t, lol.

I don’t know about some of this stuff.

I mean… how could they do this to me? To her? It just seems so… wrong. I mean, what did they even do to her, exactly? Do I want to know? Should I even ask? Maybe it would be best not to, and just go back into my little mental hidey hole, lol.

I feel like a lab rat, sometimes. Like a test subject, being jerked around and poked and prodded by people I’ve never met and will never understand. It’s horrible.

———————————–

Well, having seen the rest of the ep, I guess I see what they were doing. I mean, good episode, lol.

But… still.

Reading truly is wonderful, isn’t it? Reading the good books, at least, and the great ones, especially.

Again tonight I marvel at the fact that new books are sold at all.

I recently plowed through The Secret Garden (heh), finished again the wonderful The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and am currently enjoying The Wind in the Willows.

Also- today I heard my mom bitch and moan for like 15 minutes about the low quality of the books she’s been reading and listening to. Her choices are exclusively newly published works, most of them from Amazon and Audible, some from libraries like Hoopla.

She reads the book equivalent of shovelware. Trashy, factory churned out books designed to get pennies for a sale at online stores.

Yeah, not for me, I think.

Honestly, tho. If anything good has come out of being sick this year it’s that it’s finally rekindled my long dormant love for novels. I guess I can be grateful for that.

The Wind in the Willows is just… a reeeeally well written book. 50 pages in and I’ve not found a word that seems out of place. It’s really, really good. TBH, it’s light years ahead of anything I’ve touched that’s been published in the last 30 years or so.

IDK. Older novels just seem so polished. They seem so well planned and executed that they’re almost breathtaking in their efficiency. They were clearly made by and for people who cared quite a lot about the quality of their work.

Oddly, it’s kind of… difficult to talk about them, tho. IRL, people don’t want to hear it. I could talk about reading The Wind in the Willows to people in know IRL, but man, the weird glances I would get, lol. It’s somewhat hard for me to understand, but there you go.

I get the same reactions when I tell people about watching and enjoying films like Snow White. “Isn’t that rated G? Aren’t you a man?” Responses like this- from people who watch horrible, disgusting reality TV shit.

Well, yes, I am a man, but Jesus, people. Do we not have standards? I do.

I think I’ll finish this post with one of my favorite Schopenhauer quotes:

“One can never read too little of bad, or too much of good books: bad books are intellectual poison; they destroy the mind.”

Well said.

K, well, been watching more of KP. IDK where I left off here, but I saw a few of the last eps yesterday and today.

Hana Stoppable is Hannah Montana, a.k.a. Miley Cyrus. Ep 17 is alllllll about Demi Lovato. I’ve been watching, waiting for her episode and was becoming concerned when I didn’t see it, lol. But, there it is.

Ep 18 is Aimee Teegarden and I think Danielle Campbell.

Ep 19 is… uh, well, I have my suspicions, but I don’t… really want to say them, because it’s just kinda… IDK, weird? Or weird-ish, at least. You know?

Like, it’s definitely not about Jayden Bartels, right? Because that would be super odd, all things considered. Like, mega-super odd. Because… yeah, you know. But I mean… yeah, that’s just not true anyhow, so there you go I guess.

I mean, there’s just no way.

And… well… looking at it further… that’s Jules, too, right? Jules and Jayden, both, in the same ep, right. And, actually, looking at it verrrry closely, it might be more Jules than Jayden, actually, but…… whaaaaaat?

*sinks down into bed*

Well, interesting world.

The Demi ep kinda drove home how much these guys had me wrapped around their fingers, i guess.

Uhm, yeah. Well, there you go.

Man tho, what an outstanding series. Absolutely amazing.

————————————

I’ve been re-reading The Secret Garden. Fantastic book. It’s a wonder new books are even being sold what with the plethora of free masterpieces these days.

It’s not as good as Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland, but that’s hardly saying much since few things written in English are. But it’s an incredible novel, utterly exceptional in every aspect. My ereader says I have about 50 pages to go and can’t wait to finish it.

I’m taking my time with it, savoring every bit of description and dialogue. Like a gourmet meal, you don’t want to just snarf it down, lol.

It’s an apropos read nowadays, I think, with the blossoming of spring all about me IRL. And the text and my real life have created within themselves an eerie kind of synchronicity, with some of my own recent health issues mirroring those of one of the protagonists, Colin Craven.

Kinda amazing, actually.

Well, after I finish, however reluctantly, The Secret Garden, then I’ll start The Wonderful Wizard of Oz, most likely.

Right, sounds good.

Then we’ll continue from there. Maybe I’ll read Treasure Island after that.

Choice, choices, lol.

*Sigh*.

Not writing here much lately since I’ve moved downstairs for the time being, but I felt the need to leave a note tonight.

I finished Alice’s Adventure’s in Wonderland again tonight. Wow, what a perfect masterpiece. I don’t know if it’s the best novel ever, but if it isn’t, it’s close enough to be in the running.

It’s just… awe- inspiring. Does the book have a mistake? Maybe it does, but I’ve not found one.

Goddamn, that ending. So beautiful it’s actually painful to read.

The animated movie is a masterpiece in and of itself, but one that doesn’t buck the trend of movie adaptations being generally worse then their sources.

Every read through I notice new things, both in the novel itself and in it’s influence on our culture. It’s wonderful.

Has anyone noticed yet the reference to Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland in Disney’s Moana movie? Specifically, in the “How Far I’ll Go?” song? Quite interesting, at least to me.

I’m going to be reading more. Next up is another read through of The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. I need to read all of the Oz books at some point, for sure.

Maybe that point is now, IDK. We’ll see.

Well, that’s all I have time for tonight.

Alright, so I’ve been sick now for like… a month and a half.

Holy Jeebus, this thing is a Goddamn nightmare.

To recap this living hell for myself, and I guess to scare the shit out of everyone else on Earth, I’ve decided to document every detail of the unfolding horror and my response to it here.

Alright, here we go.

So basically, I got “Covid”. Or rather, Ur- Covid. I’m patient zero, so I guess that I have the variety that others will be getting in the future (?). Well… truth be told, I have no clue how this stuff works.

I think it’s like… Covid is an artificial life-form. Its a quasi AI, a sentient semi-organic entity that chooses it’s targets based on it’s own mysterious criteria. It may not entirely be of this Earth, or this plane of existence, owing to it’s apparent quantic properties.

Some thoughts, here.

Covid IS REAL. IT IS NOT FAKE. Some, mostly Trump supporters, think it is fake. They are horribly horribly mistaken. Secondly, it is indeed transmitted by a virus, amongst other avenues. Viruses ARE REAL. THEY ARE NOT IMAGINARY. Again, some people on the Trump- supporting side of things have taken to believing that viruses are fantastical; these people are very misguided. Perhaps viruses are, like Covid may be, artificial in part if not wholly, but they do indeed exist.

It’s been weird, scary, and surreal. I’ve brought out the full bore of my archwizard powers against this thing and it just kinda… I don’t know, doesn’t respond. The pain of this is un-fucking-real. The paralysis, the reality that your body is falling apart, your melting tissue, it’s a circus of body horror. Yikes!

At the onset of this… monstrous, inhuman… “disease” … I shocked my body with one of my… de-parasitization attacks. I killed, I guess, a small human liver fluke and some kind of two inch long orangish red weird segmented worm thing about a millimeter in diameter. That’s it. Nothing, really. Covid was unaffected by all of this.

I pulled out all the tricks in my archwizard handbook. I raised by vibrational rate to it’s highest, hoping to shake it off. That failed. I lowered it to it’s lowest, then ping-ponged it between both. That did nothing. Everything did nothing. I pooled my chakra and attacked it head on. No effect. Blond powers did nothing, demonic powers did nothing, quantum powers did nothing, even necromancer powers could not touch this shit.

Now, maybe I’m not being fair… all of these powers did something. Help with this, alleviate this pain, guide me through this maze, give me this answer, etc.

But I’m saying that they couldn’t fix the underlying issue. The problem fundamentally is that this “disease” is not organic. It’s cyborg-ish. Not natural.

Let me put it succinctly: Covid is a fucking horror show. I don’t know how else to describe this. Here, let me run down the symptoms I’ve experienced.

1. Crippling, debilitating internal wounds that do not heal. My arms and legs are badly swollen with internal injuries that refuse to heal. And this is significant, since due to my superhuman chi reserves and enhanced immune system I typically heal at a rate 2 or 3 times faster than a normal person. Seriously though- these injuries COME ON SUDDENLY, APPEAR IN MULTIPLE PLACES AT ONCE AND DO NOT HEAL.
2. Bleeding all over inside the mouth. The gums, the tongue, the cheeks, the lips, literally everywhere. This… is horrible, and it came on suddenly, all at once. To fix this nightmare I had to spend an hour a day (!) on mouth care. I had an horrible infection of some kind underneath my gumline, all over my mouth! We’re talking upper and lower jaw, front and back. Jesus Christ!
3. Eye infections, bladder infection, colon infections, etc. My eyes got infected, I got a bladder infection (apparently almost impossible for a middle aged male), and I got a horrible infection or something in my intestines, the less talked about the better. Holy God!
4. Nausea/ vomiting, insomnia/ extreme fatigue, many other symptoms, too many to list. The insomnia may be due to my body becoming intoxicated with… unnatural/unusual substances from Covid.

Alright, look… this thing, or at least, the version of this thing that I get personally, is bad, very very bad indeed. Maybe this is just for me, I don’t know. It might be, since I don’t hear of many people who have these symptoms (although maybe they’re the dead ones, IDK), but… IDK.

I’ve kept my body together because of my enormous chi reserves, my vast pool of occult knowledge, and a few specific spells, like my youth spell. This spell is so powerful it affects even those around me, like my parents. My parents have definitely benefitted from this spell even if they don’t know it, that’s for sure.

Since I get this thing frequently I’ve leaned very hard on my blond powers to unlock the secrets and benefits of the allopathic medical system, and that’s also helped tremendously. It’s given me over a million dollars worth of tests and doctor visits- for free. Quite impressive. Thank you, blond superpowers!

The necromancer powers as always guide me to where I need to be. An army of undead servants is a valuable thing.

Well… I’m kinda babbling, but the point here is basically this:

People are fucked if my experience with Covid becomes “normal”. Many many people will die. Millions. Billions, maybe. Please do not make my experience normal! I mean, if choice is even an option, here.

I wonder if I’m being punished, somehow. IDK. Maybe that’s another essay. But it’s hard to not wonder, since this thing is so painful and unnatural.

Even my quantum powers seem stifled by this disease, since it seems to have quantic powers of it’s own, of some other variety. Seriously. It’s just… this is just… nuts.

It’s scary.

Well… that does it for this one, I guess.

*Whew*

Ugh, still sick, majorly. Ugh, ick. Gross. This is going to take awhile.

Still have a disney sub. Ugh, gods, IDK. Yesterday I resolved to going into the archives and watching the old movies, since everything new on the platform looks really, really bad.

I watched Babes in Toyland. Very fun, very good movie. Bright, cheerful, well acted, imaginative, beautiful to look at. It looked prettier than a lot of movies that cost… gods, hundreds of millions of dollars.

Speaking of which, I saw on youtube a trailer for the new Zack Snyder movie, Rebel Moon. Holy shit, lol.

Yeah, I think it’s a good idea at this point to just… nope out of pop culture. I saw that thing, and my reaction was just… what the fuck is this? Seriously.

I looked it up online and apparently it’s based on a rejected Star Wars script. And not old Star Wars- we’re talking Disney– Star Wars. Seriously. As in, the guys that made The Last Jedi and The Rise of Skywalker. As in- the people who made those movies read the script for Rebel Moon and were like “Yuck, this script is far below our standards. Reject!”

And apparently, this fact is a selling point. Holy shit. LOL!

This movie… is not for me, and at this point I’m wondering what out there actually is that’s even remotely new.

I could list what I thought problematic about the trailer, but let’s just say “everything” and leave it at that. Everything, yes. Every frame in the thing seemed way, way too over the top. No subtlety. And you know what happens then? It becomes a giant smudge.

Even the plain-ness of the apparent heroine seemed way, way too plain, in contrast to the clownishness of everyone else around her. It just looked weird all around.

WTF is there to watch?

IDK, but the plan is to watch Bedknobs and Broomsticks next. Should be fun. Haven’t seen it in years.

Do humans actually like any of this new stuff? I ask this legitimately. The Star Trek fans I knew growing up don’t have anything to do with the franchise anymore, and the same with the SW fans, the LOTR fans, etc.

My father is a massive LOTR fan, having gifted me with tickets to the original trilogy, and then the extended DVD sets as Christmas presents, and then tickets to the hobbit trilogy during it’s theatrical run (which he liked!), and he just… can’t watch that Amazon thing. Too boring. Fifteen minutes into the first ep is as far as he got and then… gods, so boring, lol.

I haven’t dared try watching any of… whatever that thing is.

Do people actually like this stuff? Do they actually watch this stuff? Real humans?

IDK.

Well, I’m not feeling well, need to go.