Just a note here, I guess to expand on the transgender discussion yesterday.
I’m not really sure of what I am, honestly. I mean I think I explained part of it well, but…
The general gender weirdness of my existence seems to coincide with the general age-related weirdness. So maybe I’m not so much transgender, as I am transhuman, or… something.
I was just thinking about this the other day- I’m still kinda… weirdly young for my age. And in ways that go beyond the mere “diet, vitamins and exercise” age fighting routines used by so many.
It’s genuinely kinda freaky. Like, I’m 43 years old, and I use a high school picture as on my twitter profile, basically because that’s what I look like, lol.
I still get weird looks whenever I mention my age to others. People don’t believe it. And I mean that literally- they need to actually check the records, to make sure I’m not lying. Hell, I can hardly believe it. I really do not look like I’m in my mid 40’s.
I was looking into the mirror the other day hunting for age related issues, and believe it not, I was stressing out because I didn’t find enough of them. Really weird.
I do have thinning hair, but weirdly, rightly or not, I feel like that that might not be a problem in the future- that maybe the cybernetics will somehow “fix” that for me. It’s a strange feeling, and not really a human one, I think.
I tend to forget just how strong I actually am, because I forget how old I am, chronologically. I forget that most men my age- and I mean at least 99% of them- cannot begin to do the exercises that I can do, easily. Those twenty-something fitness gurus on youtube can, yes, but almost nobody my age can, no. And I think that this ability is… unnatural, somehow. It’s not normal, at least not entirely. It feels unnatural. It feels inhuman, like something out of a comic book.
And it feels like as difficult as these exercises are, that I should have no problems doing them well into the future- into my 50’s, 60’s, and beyond. Whether or not that will happen we will need to see. But it feels like… it would be easy. And that doesn’t feel normal. It just doesn’t.
It’s weird, honestly. And it’s getting weirder with each passing day.
I don’t know.
I mean… I really don’t know.
I’m not sure anyone does, honestly.