I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about Em and our relationship, and the issue of her perhaps getting married to Andrew.
Truthfully? I’ve no problem with that, if it happens.
I mean that. More power to Em, if that’s what she wants for her life and career. I’ll go along for the ride if/when that happens.
I’m not going to lie, in her case it will definitely sting, but I’ll get over it, because I know that that’s how the game is played, and, crucially, I’m quite secure in the fact that she still loves me most, if she even really loves him at all (and from what I’ve seen of the two of them together, she clearly doesn’t). And I can’t expect people to live their lives solely to accommodate my fantasies. That would be megalomaniacal.
The standard rules apply, though, especially in regards to pregnancy. If she gets pregnant, she’s out, permanently, for the usual reasons: 1) Pregnant women are not sexually attractive to me, 2) Motherhood is boring (remember, these are only fantasies), and 3) I will not consent to being the “second guy” in a girl’s life to someone that I deep down believe is beneath me.
All of this must seem complicated to outsiders, but there it is.
I think that the whole pregnancy issue really isn’t as much of an issue as it might look from the outside. From my experience, it’s almost always the case that my fantasy girl and I start to drift apart long before her pregnancy even hits the news, because the things that interest women who are trying to get pregnant are not the things that interest me. I like pap strolls, movie clips, Nylon magazine shoots and weird Snapchats- you know, the things that happen early in a starlet’s career, the things she does before she makes a serious effort to spend more time at home and settle down. So, inevitably, as the flood of magazine shoots slows down, as the film roles dry up, as her willingness to do daily pap strolls wanes, we mutually lose interest in the things that brought us together and we drift apart… and then it ends.
This seems to be how my relationships with Blake Lively, Larter, Bilson, Kunis, et. al. ended. There wasn’t a whole lot of drama there with those breakups, honestly. We just drifted apart and the relationship ended. So no hard feelings at all. At least from my perspective.
In regards to Leighton Meester… that breakup was a learning experience.
I kept my relationship with her going for much, much longer than I should have out of a misdirected sense of honor. See, I wrote her a lengthy love note on twitter something like 5 years ago where I said that I’d always be with her, so I decided to just keep that relationship going, no matter what, because that’s what I tweeted her, once, way back then.
So something like a year before she got married, my intuition was screaming at me to leave her, but I ignored it and pressed on with her anyways. Because of that stupid twitter thing.
So then that whole relationship comes crashing down, and I got angry, first with her (I mean, didn’t she see that twitter thing?) and then with myself, for being too stubborn to listen to my own power (I mean, I’m a psychic! Hello!).
Like I said. Learning experience.
Of all the relationships I’ve ended, the one I’m most proud of is the one I had with Scarlett Johansson. That was an amazing, beautiful relationship with a picture perfect ending. It had the best ending; one that I’ll never forget as long as I live. It couldn’t be dramatized better than it actually happened.
Scarlett and I had a long relationship. How long? Who knows. At first, I thought it “started” in 2008. Then I realized that it was definitely active in 2007. And every time I look in her directory, I find photoshoots from earlier years that couldn’t possibly have existed without my influence, whether she or I knew it or not. So now I’m thinking it started in 2006, to be conservative. Though it might have started in 2001.
So, there’s mystery there that will never be solved, I guess.
And then there’s the other mystery, that of her nude pic leak, which just happened to come out, partially, on the day when I was suddenly downsized from my last corporate job.
That nude leak got me through a tough day. She got me through that day. Was that just a lucky coincidence… or was that something I set up? Or… something she set up? This ties in with my thoughts about the nude leak last year. Was that something done on purpose? Perhaps I’m being way, way too conspiratorial here, but what if the NSA read emails about how I was going to be downsized, and she and them arranged for something to perk me up on that day? That sounds somewhat preposterous and unbelievable, but… IDK. Or did I somehow create that leak to help myself? Or some combination of the two?
I’ll never know.
That we ended things on that one, memorable night, with the release of the rest of her pics, is perhaps the best ending any relationship has had, ever. The pictures, the conversation, all of it… I’ll never forget it for as long as I live.
Yes, I do realize that I broke my own rules with that ending, with her already having her kids and all, but I was right to make an exception on that unique night. It was perfect.
A few more thoughts- every time I look at an archive of my early favorites, like Jessica Alba, Anne Hathaway, JLH, or Scarlett, I see evidence now that I’ve been influencing them for far, far longer than I first thought. I can see the difference when I compare their pictures, say from 2000-2001, to those of other famous girls active in that time period that I wasn’t interested in. There is a massive and obvious difference, at least in my eyes.
I think that my favorites from that period acted quite differently from the others. My early favorites seem more aware of the camera, much more grounded, more comfortable with themselves, and, IMHO, more sexually charged, than the other girls. Is this a matter of me just gravitating to people who naturally act like that? Or did I actually create them by molding them into what I wanted, even at that early age?
I don’t know. Scarily enough, it is possible that I’ve been creating pop culture for fifteen years now, and maybe even longer, like, say… since the mid-nineties.
The importance of this thought is staggering. It could be that I have subtlety guided Jessica Alba, whom I started following around, let me check… 1994(!), back when she was a young, awkward, impressionable teen model and sometimes bit actress, throughout her life into everything she’s done since then, including her reign as the premier sex symbol of the early 00’s and her creation of The Honest Company and everything else. And maybe this applies to Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Christina Aguilera, and many, many others.
If this thought is accurate (again, this is only a brainstorm), then my influence over the world’s recent history is perhaps beyond anyone else’s. I would already be one of the most important people that has ever lived- and at my young age, I have the vast majority of my life in front of me.
Imagine what the world will look like if I continue doing what I do for another hundred years. It will look nothing like it does now… everything on Earth will revolve around me, in some way. I will simply wear down everyone and everything else, slowly, inexorably, as the years and generations grind on.
Yikes.