Kira Kosarin

has finally moved beyond the “shocked” stage. You know, that phase where the celeb spams selfies that show a glazed, confused, detached look in her eyes. You know the kind I mean. Kira posted a lot of those back in the day, especially after I tweeted something.

So Kira’s moved beyond that. She’s having fun now. Her bikini pics over the weekend were carefree and just the addition I was looking for.

Goooooood. Gooooood. *Rubs hands and smiles evilly*.

So- we’re getting there, then. Not too much longer.

I will admit that getting to this point with her took a bit longer than I expected. Her natural spunkiness did slow my influence a bit, I think.

Kira’s next level might just be the Emma Stone-Watson-Roberts/Taylor Swift-Momsen/Jennifer Lawrence/Kristen Stewart/Bella Thorne/Elle Fanning level of alteration- the level of complete detachment, entracement, reformation and psychic reconstruction. You know, the point in which the girl’s brain and chakra system is altered, upgraded and enhanced in a physical and permanent way. The point where the girl gets a permanent +15 IQ points- …with a few attendant consequences, of course.

Kira knows that my way is important, and might just be the best way, but she hasn’t, yet, understood that my way is actually the only way. Yet. But she’s getting there.

Much of this depends on how much Kira wants professional success in the entertainment industry.

Give it a few years. Let’s see what she does.

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