Ah, OK. I get it. I AM a cocaine addict.
Yup.
I just realized it. My decades of absorbing the brain waves of cocaine users has given me the ability to generate the effects of cocaine without the drug itself.
The power of coke isn’t in the drug, it’s in the effect the drug has on the brain. I can generate that effect without the substance itself, I think.
I AM a cocaine addict.
I think.
Well, now that I know, I should be able to control it.
I didn’t get it, before. When I wrote the original post in this series back in 2014, I thought my problems were caused by health supplements that somehow emulated the effects of cocaine, or something.
Here’s a quote:
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Is some of that stuff addictive? I mean, the roots and herbs and minerals and stuff. You wouldn’t think so, really, but some illegal drugs are herbs and isn’t cocaine a mineral too? It can be prepared as a salt.
I’m not saying that anything I was taking was like crack or anything- that would be nuts- but I was taking way, and I mean WAY, more stuff than I should have been, especially, now that I think about it, when I was feeling down or depressed, or stressed out at work. When I was really down I would go over by three or four times the recommended maximum dosages on the packages sometimes. Was I an addict? I mean, it wasn’t intentional that I would take the stuff just to escape from reality. So I did it without thinking. Is that addiction?
So I recently stopped ingesting all of what I was taking and I feel a lot better but I *think* I might be having some withdrawal symptoms weaning myself off of what I was taking. But that’s impossible, right? They’re just herbs and roots and minerals etc. It’s nothing illegal!
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Nope. I was onto something, then. But I wasn’t quite there.
The stuff I was feeling, (and have felt, since, off and on) couldn’t have been from the supplements, only. There was something else there, too.
I think my brainstorm up above might be right. In matching up my brainwaves to those who use the drug, even without my knowing they use it, I’ve learned what it feels like and can, I think, “make” that feeling in myself without any actual coke.
Yup. I think that’s it.