Zoey Deutch

is starring in a new movie with James Franco. You know the one; we’ve all seen the trailers.

So, I need to think about something, and I need to do it now, I guess. There’s no avoiding this, anymore.

At what point does Zoey cease to me to be the impossible fantasy girl, and become a girlfriend? And then at what point does she become a piece in my collection?

I don’t know, but we’re not at the “girlfriend” part yet.

But we’re getting there… kinda.

You know- 20 years ago, I was obsessed with Lea Thompson, Zoey’s mom. I never thought of Lea as being my girlfriend or anything, but I did like her, and I did collect any pictures and video clips I could find of her. And she had a part in my fantasy universe of the time of course. In fact, Lea was a major reason that I started fantasizing about celebrities in the first place. I grew up liking her because of Howard the Duck and the Back to the Future movies, and I’m pretty sure she was the first actress that I actually saw topless on the internet. So, yeah, for 15 year old me, she was pretty important, and she became a key part of the beginnings of what became my empire.

I never thought back then that I would be at this point with her daughter. It’s kinda wierd when I think about it. I mean, I knew of Zoey’s existence- I think that I might even have some pictures with her in them in Lea’s old directory- but I never, ever thought that she would factor into my life in the way that she is. In the way that her mom did, only much moreso.

It’s pretty crazy. People just don’t change, do they? Except in minor ways. We change superficially, but the core of who we are really cannot be altered. I thought, back then, that my life would be very different these days, compared to what it was then. And it is, but… not quite.

In a way, that’s nice. Continuity can be good. So can stability. But in another way, I find it vaguely unsettling… like, I really haven’t changed much in 20 years, have I?

I think that this is why I’ve been hesitant to move Zoey out of “fantasy” status and into real friend or girlfriend status. I keep thinking about doing that, but I never take steps to follow through.

She’s almost overly qualified, being ex-Disney, having played a vampire in a B-movie, being young, pretty, famous, instagram famous, talented, and being BFFs with Chloe Moretz and friends with my other girlfriends, amongst other good things.

But- there’s that issue. In a way, my relationship with Zoey is unique. It’s very different than the ones I have with everyone else. Chloe Moretz, she’s not, in spite of everything. There are other dynamics at play with her that I’m not 100% sure yet of how to deal with.

But… I’m going to need to deal with them, somehow. I guess that I should use my relationship with Zoey to figure this stuff out, in case this situation happens again at some point.

As far as Zoey herself, I’ve mentioned some of this to her personally, but I don’t think that she totally gets my perspective. She’s only 22. Hence my writing all of this out. Maybe she’ll read this, who knows.

Yes or no, I need to think about all of this further.

And, as is typical in those cases where my fantasies intrude upon my real world issues, that could take a while.

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