Cady Groves, Part VI

Fuck it.

I mean, why not.

I’m through with the histrionics, so you can breathe easy. This post is just about other stuff. I mean, just so you know. It’s not like I’m obsessing, or whatever. It’s just that this stuff is what I talk about, here.

So… Cady, or whomever. What is the point?

I mean, I get this:

This was the selfie Cady posted that I mentioned earlier. The one before her “I’m all better now” tweet. Titled “@cadygroves
#sexyinsorrow”. Alright, so… great. There it is. Thanks for the selfie.

Is… that it? I mean, all of what we did together. I mean, it’s not bad, but… other relationships lead to… better things. Like families. What I get are selfies, and not a whole lot else. I mean I don’t get anything to hold onto, at any rate.

I tried to rectify this, once. I tried to use my influence to change the system for the better, and got nothing of value in return for my efforts. Just shit- dumb crap from our nation’s stupid politicians, and incomprehensible “woke” nonsense from the business classes. And some admittedly cute selfies from a few girls.

If there is a place that needs rescuing, it’s here. I can see this country regressing back to what it was 150 years ago, and that isn’t good. The USA used to be a land of grinding poverty. I think I remarked on here before how at one point in our old history, most of the families in the USA didn’t own any money at all- barely a cent. It was barter, not buying, that was the lifeblood of our economy, a long time ago. This country was a land of horrific wealth and opportunity inequality before the world wars. And I can see us going back to that, if we’re not there already, and I think that sucks. I actually like having a middle class, for example.

But it doesn’t look like there’s any way out, or that anyone cares. We’re going backwards, and with the added problem of the fact that this time the wealthy seem to fear and hate anyone poorer than they, with poor white men of course getting the brunt of their disrespect and abuse.

This country has too many rich people. And nothing will change unless that does.

The thing is- nobody is going to get what they want, not even the rich. You can’t run a high tech economy on barter. You need actual money, in the hands of actual people, for something like that to run correctly. But it is what it is.

And of course, the Jewish establishment needs to go. Like, now. All of them- all of their organizations, all of their leaders, all of their influence and dirty money. They need to be shown the door. We all know why; there’s no point is explaining the obvious. But seriously, they need to leave, and the sooner the better.

Is anyone listening? Anybody at all? Hello?

Well, back to Cady, as I’m wandering off into the bleachers here, lmao.

I just wish that there was more of what we had together besides… the selfies, and such. I would probably be less… depressed if there was more that was individual to me specifically of what she created. I would be more stable, less miserable. I mean, that’s the drugs fucking with my mind, yeah, but that’s also a scream into a void since I have nobody to talk to. I built up an empire of ghosts, which is great if you want to explore the limits of life and magic, but not so great if you want to just… text somebody.

I don’t know. Did I do things wrong? Back to that question, again. Because I really am miserable. I guess it’s a question of whether this is just a side effect of living in a dying empire, or something I created for myself, or maybe both.

I don’t want to die. I don’t want to kill myself, or OD. I went through that again, this morning. I got a weird and intense migraine probably as a side effect of the narcotics and thought about dying again, and what a relief that would be. I mean I just want out of here, and I don’t care how it happens. I mean, I could be gone by this afternoon, if I really wanted it. Or by tomorrow morning, if I wanted to make sure there was no chance of coming back. Easy enough for me to join the very long list of people that I have known and respected that have taken the easy way out. But… no, I won’t.

I have known so. Many. People who have done this.

But… no.

I want all of this… to be worth something. I want it to count, as dumb and cliched as that sounds.

I made a promise. And in a world where nothing is solid, that has to mean something.

So I’m going to tough this out, for now, and see where this goes.

Wish me luck.

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