So I’m listening to Cady’s extraordinary cover of Our Lady Peace’s Bring Back the Sun.
MUUUUUCH better than the original, BTW.
But seriously, Cady saved my life.
I won’t let my memory of her die. I can’t. Then, she would die. For real, forever. Her last tie with this world would be gone. All that would remain is… the blank, empty memories of those who knew her in person. And however poignant those may be, they can’t breathe life into their memories in the way that I can with mine.
She dies without me.
If I die, so does Cady, then.
We die together. Our fates are inexorably intertwined.
It’s… good, that this is the way it is.
I can help her while I live.
So I MUST live.
I can’t let the things we went through die. I can’t let them mean nothing; I can’t just let them pass from the world. That wouldn’t be right. It would be unfair, just like everything else in this world is. I can’t let that happen.
I remember now much more of my time with her, and the nights we spent together after her brother died. Nights that I’m sure now became the basis for Crying Game. I mean, I can’t let her die. So I need to live.
It sucks, what happened to her brother. He died of… prescription narcotics abuse. Something I swear that back than I would NEVER die of upon hearing the news.
Yeah, seriously. It’s like I’m remembering for some reason. Like I’m unlocking long-forgotten memories now that I’m focusing on her again. Kind of like… they weren’t really forgotten at all. Like they were just hiding, for when I needed them. For now.
It’s pretty crazy.
But with that being said, how ironic and… tragic would it be if I actually did die of the same thing? That same thing I promised her would never take me from this world. From… her.
Oof, would that be just dreadful. Truly. It would be awful.
I can’t go out like that, I just can’t.
No way, that would be so terrible. I mean I can’t let that happen!
So, Cady. You actually did end up saving a life, then. Just not the one you intended to. It was me, Cady. Not him. I was the one you needed to save. The one you could save.
It was me.
All of what you went through wasn’t in vain.
You saved me, Cady. Even if it took your own life to do it.
Thanks… words can’t express how thankful I am that you did what you did. I won’t let you die, Cady.
I won’t. Not now, not ever.
Thank you again, so much, from the bottom of my heart.
I will live.
Thanks.