Fuckit. Let’s get real dark, shall we? I mean, it’s the perfect day for it, whatever those pussies I call normies might think.
Alright. So. I’ve been skirting around this issue for years, and I think now might be a good time I guess to delve into it. Yeah…
So.
I’m a necromancer. A death wizard. I can use the power of death and dying, and of manipulated souls held in bondage, to strengthen myself. I can breech the barriers between this world and the afterlife to such a degree that I can strongly influence things on the other side. They know me there, quite well. I can curse people, and objects, in truly incredible ways. I can hypnotize people with my eyes. Summon demons and other spirits, when I want. Create such demons myself, when I want to. And of course, communicate with the souls of the living, and the dead, to such a degree that I can carry out long-term relationships with them, should I choose. And in spite of this, I lust for immortality- to conquer death completely; to be it’s master, eternally. And to do this I often employ “black magic”, like sex and violence rituals, to acquire the energy needed to hold myself in an unnaturally young state.
Basically, I’m the quintessential evil wizard. When you watch an old Hammer horror flick, usually, the bad guy is a necromancer. So was Sauron from Lord of the Rings, and Voldemort from Harry Potter. And the Horned King, from the The Chronicles of Prydain. And The Lich King, from Warcraft. Also- Dracula could be considered one, I suppose. As well as the Night King from Game of Thrones. And also, for completeness, Bela Lugosi’s character in White Zombie. And I suppose, Dr. Frankenstein, and maybe Rotwang.
So… yeah, I’m “evil”, lol. Probably very, very much so. Like, I probably scare some people, lol. Like maybe a lot, which might kinda sorta be the reason why people are freaking out, now. Like, a lot, lol. I mean… how would you react if Lord Voldemort put up shop in the Chicago suburbs? LOL.
That isn’t to say that I can’t do “good” magic as well. I mean, I do. Quite often in fact. Actually, more often than most “good” wizards, who are… all so very, very weak, lol. But still… yeah. I’m kinda super evil, here.
Necromancers have certain traits. “Evil eyes” that can steal the souls of their victims, for example. And often, a profound ability to… love? Apparently. A lot of them get into necromancy to talk to their dead ex-girlfriends. At least in fiction. And apparently in real life, too. And uh, arrogance. Which mayyyybe I have too. Just a little. Juuuuuust a tad. A smidgen. Maybe. LOL.
But seriously, I’m like, super evil. I have no qualms about stealing Cady’s soul and chaining her to me, here (I mean, she doesn’t mind, either, but that’s kinda not the point, here). Seriously. And it’s not like I asked her Mom for permission, or something. I don’t even know who her mom IS, lol.
I mean, I don’t care. Whatever.
That isn’t to say I’m not human. I am, of course. No matter how much death energy I absorb, I remain who I am, that working class suburbanite. And I suppose many might say that I’m more human than most “normal” people, even. Crazily enough. Like my unnatural youthfulness makes me more of a pure person than most regular, non-evil people.
And, oddly enough… people… LIKE this? I think. Ok, here’s the unexpected part. It’s like… people reeeeally want to be entranced by an evil wizard, I guess. Maybe for the experience? I don’t know. This part, I was not expecting. I was worried about the pitchforks and torches for awhile there, to be honest. I mean, seriously. Literally, like I would lay awake at night kinda worried, lol.
But apparently, nobody much cares. It’s kinda baffling. In fact, much of the public seems intent on cheering me on, at least somewhat. Maybe the “novelty” factor is strong here, IDK. But… um… yeah.
You know- seriously, guys. Like a LOT of the things we see here are kinda sorta maybe because of me. I mean, you know. I won’t get into it in this post, though. Too much I guess.
But yeah, it’s kinda shocking, how the public has grown to love me over the years. It’s like, everyone finds something to like in what I do, like maybe the presence of an almighty evil wizard was what people really needed all along- and that maybe explains the immense popularity of necromancers over the generations. People really seem to take to them to for some reason.
Perhaps it’s their mastery over death that encourages people. Like- this dude conquered death. Holy balls! That means that I can do, IDK, this thing I’ve always wanted to do!
Yeah… maybe that’s it. In slaying death, peoples’ worst fear, I have freed them to be themselves. Like, maybe necromancers are… kinda… the good guys? Maybe? I don’t know. It’s so… weird. Growing up I always thought they were evil, you know?
Or maybe I’ve just hypnotized so many people that they can’t escape my mind control, lol. IDK.
Or some combination of all this.
Uh, well, I need to end this, here. It’s been fun.