So, I just finished rewatching Disney’s version of Beauty and the Beast. I mean, the original one, not the Watson one.
Wowwwwwwww. Okay. I need to process, here.
So… I haven’t seen this flick since… I don’t know. I think I might have seen clips on, IDK, youtube or somewhere, a few years ago, but as far as rewatching the entire film… it’s been decades, I think. TBH I think I haven’t seen it since I got rid of the old VHS of it, back in… high school, or maybe right after college. So a loooong time ago.
So it’s been awhile. But damn did I love this flick when I was younger. I watched it, over and over again, and as I was watching it just now, all of those memories came flooding back, and so did I also pick up on quite a few new fascinating insights.
Some old stuff- I guess that the movie had more of an impact on me than I had realized. Like, wayyyyyyy more, lol. I mean, I can see very clearly in this film some of the skits and such that I used to do with my girlfriends. Take the talking candle, Lumière. I used to, I guess, re-enact this personality very often, back in the day. I used to do this character with Taylor Swift and Emma Watson I remember on a near daily basis for awhile. The same with a Cogsworth-ish character, a Gaston like character, and, I guess, the Beast, too. Only I didn’t recognize them as such. Apparently I thought these were original characters (alters?) of mine. Boy was I wrong, lol.
But apparently Disney wasn’t. Obviously they know me much better than I know myself, since they cast Watson herself in the live action remake of Beauty, apparently thinking I would get the joke (I didn’t, lol, at least, not until just now, lollllll). I mean, sheesh, I seriously can’t believe I missed this! Oh Lord, am I really this transparent?
Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to catch up to everyone else in this game we’re all playing, here. And sometimes it feels as though some people (like those at Disney, I guess) are already at the finish line- and they’re looking backwards, wondering WTF is taking me so long to get there. Ahhrrg, I mean, I’m not dumb, I’m just… slow(?)-ish? IDK, maybe I have more on my mind than they do.
Speaking of which, my girlfriends. As I was finishing the movie I was taking an inventory of all the Disney princesses and actresses I have had serious, lasting relationships with over the years, and failing miserably under the sheer weight of the numbers I was adding up. I mean… let’s list a few, here, just to keep my perspective grounded(!), here. To keep the list simple, I will limit it to girls I have had multi-year relationships with.
Okayyyyy… let’s see. Lindsay Lohan, Brittany Robertson, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Hilary Duff, Emma Watson, Zoey Deutch, Jessica Simpson, Selena Gomez, Demi Lovato, Sarah Polley, Miley Cyrus, Samantha Droke, come on, Tom, you can do this… Dove Cameron, Kelli Berglund, Bella Throne, Dani Thorne, Genevieve Hannelius, Kathryn Newton, Bridgit Mendler, Chloe East, um, wow, keep going Tom… AnnaSophia Robb, wait, I need to check my records… Katherine McNamara, Olivia Holt, um, does Kristen Bell count? Sure, why not… Anne Hathaway of course, why was she not literally the first of the bunch, IDK. I had to kinda try to remember Linds TBH, lol, Michelle Tratchtenberg, uh, Peyton List of course, Audrey Whitby naturally, did I list Britney Spears yet? I think… Elle Fanning, Vanessa Hudgens, Meg Donnelly- wait, why was Nessa not the first? Or Watson? IDK. Does Annette Funicello count? You know, fuck this. I would need to dig into my archives to finish this and that’s just too much work.
Keep in mind that this is only a list of Disney princesses, and not their armada of BFFs. I mean, I’m not sure that Rachel Fox, Kaitlyn Dever, Kaili Thorne and the Dorsey sisters count. I would need to check their histories to see if they qualify. I mean- note that I left off Jamie Lynn Spears, here, as well as ALL of the Victorious girls. I mean- I’m leaving off even Victoria, here, even though her songs were played on Radio Disney. And come to think of it, so were Ariana’s and I think Emma Roberts’, too. And, uh, Taylor’s. And Skye Sweetnam’s, and… yeesh.
Of yeah- Stefanie Scott! What? How could I forget her? She should have been number one, lol. Who else am I forgetting? Probably dozens of people, and no, I’m not exaggerating.
Like- Sierra McCormick. And Anna Margaret, of course. Um, I’m stopping here. You get the point.
So overall- over the decades, we would be talking dozens if not hundreds of girls, if we include brief flings.
Oh yeah- Sabrina Carpenter! Duh! I mean I literally listened to her new song like yesterday! And Rowan, and…
Um, okay… that’s enough. I mean… jeebus, that’s a lot of chicks. Um, where was I going with this?
Oh yeah, the movie. Well, I guess I… reenacted the movie, or something? With the Disney chicks, or something? IDK, it’s been so long since I started the list that I forgot why I was making it, lol. Um, does Angelina Jolie count? lolllllllll
Mandy Moore? Oh yeah. She works! And… good lord, Tom.
Holy fucking hell, that is a LOT OF CHICKS. No wonder Disney knows me so well. Holy Christ, that is SO MANY. And my mind is still searching for others as I type this. Sammi? Sure? IDK, I’d need to check, but yeah, we are talking an unbelievably staggering volume of girlfriends, here. Wayyyy more than even I had suspected, which I guess goes to show you how trippy it is to go through life with so many multiple personalities.
Good Lord!
But, getting back to the essay, has anyone else noticed that the Beast’s castle seems, at least on the outside, to eerily resemble the Disney castle? I mean Belle even calls it an “enchanted castle” in the movie, which was I think an obvious nod there to the “Enchanted Kingdom” that is Disney world. And this, right after Be Our Guest? Ah, Disney, how transparent! See- I see you, too.
And I had fun tallying up the many, many references to Disney classics sprinkled throughout the movie. Fantasia I saw many times, Cinderella, Snow White, and… Frozen? What? But I swear it was there! I mean, I saw it. Or maybe Frozen took from Beauty. Probably that’s how it went.
But… yeah. Interesting. Very.
I’ll continue this train of thought some other day, I think.
Oh yeah- Debby Ryan!
Duh, lol.