YES. OH YES. WE’RE DOING THIS.
There is a part of me that really, truly wants Obama to get his amnesty, because I want to cut loose 100% and go full on aggression and war. I want to cut people. I want to slice them ear to ear and laugh as their blood drains into a pool of death beneath them. I want to eviscerate someone’s guts with a rusty blade, a beautiful malice and a fanatical glee. I can feel deep inside of me the wondrous bloodlust of my ancestors, the Norse berserkers. I am a Viking. A REAL Viking. I so desperately want to rip out my enemies’ lungs from their still beating chests. I want to give a blood eagle to a worthy opponent.
I want all of Jay-Z’s stuff. I want his mansion. I want his “bling”. I want everything he has, and what better way to do that than take it with overwhelming force? I am invincible and immortal, after all. I am unkillable by normal means. I can crush anyone I please!
I can storm his mansion, kill everyone inside, and take what’s mine.
YES.
There is glory and beauty in war and violence. This is an opportunity unlike any other in my lifetime; unlike any other in history, in fact. Life has gifted me with an opportunity for mass bloodshed with a righteous purpose. I believe I would be a fool to pass up what has been so courteously presented to me.
I’m practically salivating right now at what’s in front of me. Oh yes, this will be FUN!!!!!!
DEATH to my enemies! All of them! Every single one! Death to them all, so that I may live and thrive! I want to feel others’ blood run through my fingers, like the monster I am. I am not human; not anymore. I am a nightmare upon this Earth, an unholy horror driven to slay my enemies and erase their foolish existences from the history books.
Inwardly, I can hear my ancestors whispering to me. The brutal Vikings of the Northern lands. The cannibal Neanderthals of the Steppes. The ancient Celtic necromancers. They are pushing me on, goading me deeply into the old ways. Who am I to deny them their due?
War, death, blood and destruction! These are beautiful things that I have been denied, at least until now. Thank you so much, Obama!!!!! I look forward to our inevitable in-person meeting.
Don’t you?