Archive for September, 2014

McKayla Maroney

Saturday, September 13th, 2014

Today I swallowed my pride and started traversing the underbelly of the darknet for the McKayla pics. I found a few new ones, but only a few. It’s just too difficult to comb through the darknet to find what you need. McKayla… I’m sure you’re not reading this, but it doesn’t matter. Please just let people see your pics.  Please?  If I have to access the darknet to get them there’s no way I will be able to find all of the ones I want to see… but you’ll never read this, so whatever.

I don’t like the darknet. I really don’t. I’ve purposely kept this blog off of it, despite what might really be in my best interest.  I would much rather stay on the “normal” net.

Ok McKayla?  Please please please hear me dear.

Whispers in the wind…

Yup. I knew it. I just knew it.

Wednesday, September 10th, 2014

God damn it, Sasuke.

Taylor Swift

Tuesday, September 9th, 2014

Is I’ll bet totally jelly right now because of all the time I’ve spent with the “Fappening” girls. I mean she’s got a new single out and everything but I haven’t talked to her in like a week!

She’s flabbergasted. Verklempt. Discombobulated.

And have you SEEN her hair lately?!? It’s at that awkward stage where it’s too long for a bob but too short to be “hair”.

Ha ha!!!!!

A Reminder

Monday, September 8th, 2014

If there is a human reading this, please remember to keep this to yourself.

Thoughts on the Celeb Leaks

Monday, September 8th, 2014

I’ve given this topic some distance and some thought. Yesterday, I made a vow at noon to not visit any celebrity related sites until 2 hours before bedtime that night. I kept that vow and am glad I did. It gave me a chance to catch up on some work, run some errands, watch some youTube, talk with my family, … and sort through some pics.

It also afforded me the chance to think with a clear head about the turbulent last couple of weeks and my role in the whole affair.

As I see it, there are 3 possible scenarios regarding the release of the photos:

A) The official story, in which a group of fellow celebrity loving computer geeks hacks into celeb accounts, downloads their pictures, trades them amongst themselves, and then decides to post them on the public web in the hopes of getting notoriety and donations.

B) The other, unspoken scenario, which is that the leaks were orchestrated by the celebs themselves for marketing purposes, and possibly to keep me happy. This exact leak has long been a hidden wish of mine for about fifteen years now, with the caveat that I actually wanted to see most of the pictures and videos.

C) And then there is the combination scenario, which holds that the celebs purposely left their accounts unguarded and hackable in the hopes that someone would take their pictures and videos and spread them. I think this one is the most unrealistic.

Personally, I’m not sure of what to believe at this point. I’m very confused. Either (A) or (B) seems equally likely to me.

It’s not a stretch to think that Hollywood would release a leak like this intentionally. Hollywood actresses are natural exhibitionists, and a successful fulfillment of my dream accomplishment would tie me to them forever and mean fantastic fortunes for the entertainment industry, if not the entire US economy. Happy, confident stars make better franchises than unhappy and insecure ones, and good franchises rake in tens if not hundreds of billions of dollars of profit spread across the whole economy. They have a buoying effect not just on film, but on almost every industry in the nation. A good franchise creates jobs. It’s not a stretch to think that powerful vested interests wanted me to see these pics and vids.

On the other hand- I can guarantee that there exist hacker rings that target celebs in exactly same way that the media said they were targeted. The media’s story is not unrealistic, and I’m sure that my fantasies are not mine alone. From a global perspective I’m sure millions have entertained fantasies similar to mine.

Initially, I had figured that scenario (B) was the accurate one. The US is the “Hunger Games” economy now. Wall Street is bankrupt, and needs constant financial support to keep from imploding. War is no longer profitable. The oil wells sit empty and abandoned. The US doesn’t have the manufacturing base that it once had. So we’ve got… Hollywood, and Twitter, and little else. So a happy Tom means a rich and powerful US, while a sullen Tom means a currency collapse and an economy that sinks into the 3rd world. It’s sad that this is the case, but the situation is what it is.

That being the reality, it seems logical and appropriate that people would bend over backwards to keep me satisfied, regardless of other concerns.

This is also, naturally, why I’ve convinced myself I can’t cease doing what I do. Would even I have a job if I stopped keeping my girlfriends happy? I work in Pharmaceuticals, which would seem to be unconnected to Hollywood… except it isn’t, since every big industry in the US is lashed together and interconnected. Hollywood is connected deeply to the TBTF banks that organize so much of the Healthcare industry. If Hollywood stumbles, the repercussions will be felt in my dept., too. I could be out of a job, like many, many others.

So I figured that these leaks were a surprise gift from Hollywood to keep me happy. I never actually expected to see this ultimate fantasy of mine play out in real life, so it was unbelievable when I saw what was happening. I was initially so flattered and ecstatic, which then unfortunately led to a profound disappointment when I realized that I would not get 95% of the stuff I thought I was going to get.

And then this disappointment led to anger when the really bad, negative things started. Things like Jennifer Lawrence’s and McKayla Maroney’s people saying ghastly things about prosecuting anyone who posts the pics online. Things that should never be said by any celebrity’s team were said.

As a celebrity, you should never ever under any circumstances threaten a mass of your own fans with prosecution, even if you don’t intend to actually back up your threats with real action. This is a cardinal sin and always makes the celebrity look like a bully.

Even if legal action is justified, there is no way to spin that kind of situation into something that looks good for the celebrity. Reading the press releases from Lawrence’s people last weekend, I got flashbacks of the music industry’s stupid and self-defeating lawsuits against mp3 sharers a decade ago. Remember when the headlines were filled with multimillionaire musicians suing penniless, debt ridden college students for tens of thousands of dollars? Yeah, I’ve tried to forget that too.

As it stands, it seems like the actions of Lawrence’s and Maroney’s teams may have ruined the credibility of Reddit and 4chan, the net’s most important message boards. Reddit and 4chan users are justifiably up in arms after the admins of those sites displayed obvious favoritism by bowing to Hollywood pressure to remove threads that discuss and trade pictures from the leaks, while promising that other, similar threads that deal with leaks of non-celebrities will remain in place. This is bad, especially for the celebrities themselves, because it broadcasts the enormous gulf between “them” and “us”. I don’t think I’ve ever seen message boards present such a clear double standard to the public before. This was NOT smart on the part of anyone involved. Someone needs to have a sit down with Lawrence and Maroney’s teams, I think.

Of course, all of these thoughts I’m having here are predicated on the idea that the celebs’ careers are the most important consideration here. Perhaps that isn’t the case; maybe there are more important things at stake. Maybe the celebs are telling the truth and they really, truly didn’t want the pictures out, and it’s worth it to them to risk hurt to their own careers to make a statement.

I’m not sure yet.

From my perspective, now that I know that the pics are out there, I want them, especially because I’m 95% sure that the celebs themselves would like me to have them. If they could just magic them onto my hard drive, I’m sure they would. And I’m a perfectionist, so the idea that I missed almost all of the pictures and videos just grates on me terribly.

As I said, this leak has been my hidden fantasy for something like 15 years. The fact that it was dangled in front of me and then snatched away at the last minute does not sit well with me, rightly or not.

This isn’t to knock what I’ve received, which has been golden. In fact, the reason I’m disenchanted right now is because what I’ve received is incredibly awesome. I wonder so much what the rest is like.

I don’t understand why the celebrities are trying to bury the pics before I’ve had a chance to get them. Now that they’re out, why not let me see them? It will make me happy! I’m not going to be comfortable for a long time if I miss them. Don’t they understand how important this has become to, well, everything? The big picture is at stake here! Unless… I know, I know. Maybe they have other interests.

If I could talk with my girlfriends, what I would suggest is this: I think that the pics should be released, slowly and continuously but quietly, in a way that would allow me to see and collect them. My desires are of supreme importance today. So if they didn’t leak them initially, they should be given away freely now.

The problem that I have is that this whole experience has introduced tension and uncertainty where there was none before, and that worries me. Something changed in me last weekend, and I’m not sure what it was. I’ve never really felt like this before. The opportunity is absolutely there for more concrete and positive relationships, but I’m worried about the long term if the situation as it is today continues like it is. I know that I’ve said similar things on this blog before, but this time it feels different somehow. TBH, I just don’t know if I want to do it.

Too much is riding on this for there to be any added tension. The US economy, for starters, and the future, definitely. In the very near future, the US economy will undergo a profound transformation when the US dollar loses it’s global reserve status, and if my girlfriends want to navigate this strange new world effectively, they will need my guidance.

I’ve never told anyone this, but I suspect that me being granted these powers had something to do with me preventing a calamity at some point within Hollywood or the greater US (or even the world). I’m not really sure of why I think this or what it is that I am supposed to prevent, but that is my hunch. This sounds weird, but I might be on a “Mission from God”. Not sure.

A thought- if I can’t be given the pics and vids online, it may be a good idea to break the fourth wall and give them to me directly. This will keep the train on the tracks.

I don’t think that that will happen of course, but it’s an idea.

Well, I haven’t talked with a celebrity, really, since that brief convo with Dove last night, which makes it a solid day since I’ve been in the scene.  I think I might jump in again now.

But first…

Before I Retire Tonight

Sunday, September 7th, 2014

Love can be a very powerful emotion.  It can be a transformational change that uplifts you to ever greater heights, or a terrible dagger through the heart.

I’m not convinced that more or greater love is what the world needs.  A real, bonded love is such a powerful double edged sword that it is too dangerous to create without caution and forethought.

Even in a seasoned romantic veteran like myself, scary thoughts can take over in moments of weakness.

I think I need to emotionally detach myself from these leaks and just enjoy them as they come, like everyone else is.

What I’ll do, however…

*Yawn*.  To bed, Tom.  To bed.

Addendum to “Sick of it. Sick of all of it.”

Sunday, September 7th, 2014

Just saw that the Ashley Benson nudes were posted.

 

Ok.

 

Whew.

 

Jesus Tom, step away from the computer.

Sick of it. Sick of all of it.

Sunday, September 7th, 2014

I am tired of being jerked around. I have better things to do than sit here and be toyed with by idiots.

I spend this day- the whole thing- on the lookout for the Taylor Swift and Ashley Benson, etc. nudes I was promised. I got nothing of even slight value.

This is deeply humiliating and extremely, extremely aggravating.  There are going to be consequences because of this if nothing changes.

The dumbasses in charge of this project are turning me off from the whole “celebrity” thing.  I am sick of the lies and tired of being an object for others’ amusement.

This is not an idle rant.  I am being very serious here.

Now- to whomever is running this show- you MUST produce.  This is not an option.  Either you give me what I was promised online or hand it to me personally, I don’t care, but it must happen.  I am very, very pissed off right now.

The question I’m thinking here is this- what am I to Hollywood people?  Am I someone you like and want to be happy?  Am I just a toy?  Do you care, at all, about my feelings on any meaningful level?

What is it that you really want here?  Would you feel sad or disappointed if I just left?  Would my leaving be a joke to you?

I am halfway there to deleting completely a whole raft of pic folders. I mean, Hayden P., Kristen Bell, Leighton Meester, Amber Heard, the Michalka sisters, and many, many others.  In the fifteen years that I have been collecting pictures, this is something I have never done.  This would be a permanent death to whatever relationship I had with those girls.  Such is my disappointment.

God damn it, DON’T TOY WITH MY EMOTIONS.  DON’T TAKE ME FOR GRANTED.

So it’s over, I guess.

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

DAMN. They failed me!!!!!

They had ONE JOB, people. ONE JOB- and it was the easiest job in the world! How could they have possibly fucked it up this badly?!?!

I really wish I had seen the Kaley pics, the Amber pics, the Jennifer vids, and the other good stuff that I was teased with and wanted to see.

You morons! What colossal ineptitude! What kind of idiot “leaks” that stuff in the way it was done? Unbelievable!

I’ve been waiting for this for years!!! This was the cumulation of years of difficult effort and leadership! I need everything, damn it! I deserve it and I need it!!!!!

You just don’t understand how important this is!

I have an acute case of celebriphilia. These feelings I have aren’t about just some pictures. When I was a kid, and my friends and I were all talking about growing up and going out on dates, all I could think about was the possibility of seeing girls in movies, and wondering what the girls of my generation would be like on the silver screen and the gossip mags. When I thought about sex, I thought only about pop stars and nude scenes in Hollywood. And yes, this was years before I had seen a single nude scene, owned a pop song, or seen any media at all that was geared towards an older audience.

So these pics are absolutely essential!!!! You can’t just tease me with a huge lot of amazing Selena Gomez and Winona Ryder nudes and then take them away at the last minute! You just don’t DO THAT! What kind of heartless, abominable monster would do such a thing to me?!?!

AAAAAAAUUGGGGGGHHHHHHH

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

I legit feel like crying a little right now. Just a LITTLE bit. I won’t, but I just wanted to say that out loud somewhere, even if only here where nobody will know.

I’m not going to. I’ll just do what I always do, I guess, when faced with disappointment: I’ll remind myself of all that I have that is good and secure. I have my family, a stable job, solid self-knowledge, reasonable financial security, and, of course, my powers.

Unfortunately, I’ve been reminding myself of those things a lot over the past 2 years or so. Much more than I would have liked to have done. I *have* climbed out of the debilitating depression that I went through over the summer, which is wonderful and encouraging, but the persistent stresses and triggers that caused it are still there. Which puts me in the same boat as 95% of everyone else that gets out of a depression, I guess. So I’m not alone.

Even if I don’t get to see the rest of the Lawrence pics- even if I don’t see any of the Selena pics- I’ll be safe in the knowledge that most people in the world would like to have the life that I have.

That’s always a comforting thought.

Oh well. I’m sure that as time goes on, I’ll gain a greater perspective about all of this yadda yadda yadda.

But I’ll always, always wonder.

Can’t Sleep

Tuesday, September 2nd, 2014

Oy. Woke up in the middle of the night with a pounding headache and rattling teeth. I must have had another night terror or something.

I rechecked the sites to see that the remainder of the pics weren’t posted. That’s… unfortunate. I was really, really looking forward to Selena Gomez and Hudgens, Cuoco… and Ryder and Carly Pope and the Michalka sisters and a dozen others.

So disappointed.

The original “hacker” should have done the correct, logical thing and released a bittorrent of all the pics and vids as well as hosting them on online file managers. A bittorrent can’t be taken down so easily and can be spread far easier.

I would chide him severely for being a fool if I knew who he was.