Sighinide

Oh lawd, what a repulsive circus. I mean, again. This… all of it, everything. So disgraceful. So nauseating. So… dumb, and ridiculous. So impossibly corrupt.

God I just hate politics in this country. Everything about the entire political system here makes me want to puke. I mean, I know, but it bears repeating, I guess, since not an unreasonable viewpoint.

So in the latest win that Trump has decided to hand to this nation’s enemies, the state dept. has deemed boycotts of Israel “Anti-Semitic”. I mean, to the point where they equate criticism of Israel’s policies with anti- Jewishness. I mean, literally, it’s in one of their tweets. I won’t look it up, but it’s still there in case you wanted to see it. And this is after yet another long string of lavish gifts that Trump has bestowed upon Israel as his own nation crumbles. I won’t bother listing them, since we all know he must’ve done it, since why wouldn’t he, he’s barely American anyways.

In politics it’s just different kinds of corruption, vying for this or that office, or this or that pile of money. No politicians, national, state or local, seem to care about the public, or even have much of an idea of what the public might want, anyhow.

It’s all corruption, or stupidity, or outright foolishness, and it seems there is no end in sight to all of this. It just continues, forever, since the political machines are in the hands of lazy, sheltered boomers, racial grifters, and foreign agents.

But yeah, with Trump, it’s like he doesn’t and never really did care about his voters, except in those cases where he needed something from them, like now. At all other times, it’s Israel, Israel, Israel. And whatever attention he deems worthy to waste on Americans will be spent prostrating himself in the most embarrassing ways possible before niggers, the Jewish establishment, and Wall Street. Actual Americans, as usual, have to fight the opportunity to be gifted table scraps.

Trump wasn’t the right man for job. Of course, there IS no “right man for the job”, since the entire regime exists today to dole out money to the beneficiaries of corruption. We don’t even have a “system”. It’s just a enormous Zionist criminal network, like a giant organized crime syndicate that operates out of Jerusalem. We don’t have a “government”, just a collection of con artists chosen for their posts based on how much money they can swindle from the stupid parts of the public.

It’s shameful that a system like this could even exist, much less that we, the public (i.e. stupid, ignorant boomers) could have allowed it to take over the government so fully that it threatens the future of the world. But yeah, there it is.

God, boomers are so preposterously dumb. So fucking stupid, all of them. They ALL suck, and I say all because even though there may be like .01% that don’t, that portion is so small as to be statistically insignificant.

And their party- the GOP- is beyond worthless, for all the reasons I have outlined here, again and again, for year after year. When it counts, they run. When called to make a stand on principal, they go out and golf. They take people for granted, and lie lie lie to their constituents so often that they seem to think that “that’s just how it works”. ALL of these people are worthless. All of them suck, there are no good republican politicians, anywhere.

And I don’t give two fucks about Giuliani, or whomever. That guy, and Trump, and everyone else, had decades of time to make headway on fixing the system, and they have make no progress, whatsoever, on anything of substance. And no, I don’t care if that’s because of “opposition” blah blah blah or whatever, the point is, they can’t get stuff done. Not when it counts, not when it doesn’t, not ever, these people always lose, lose, lose, mostly because they are either lazy, dumb or corrupt themselves.

The point is that all of these people suck, and even if they suck perhaps 1% less than the other people, that still means they aren’t worth paying attention to.

And no, I don’t care about the “white hats” or “Q” or any of that stupid bullshit. Perhaps you have noticed, but I haven’t mentioned that “Q” thing before on this blog, ever. That’s because I don’t think it worth talking about. It’s dumb; the “Q” whatever has just been years upon years of lies and misdirections. All of this stuff is shit, there are no “White Hats” in the military or whatever. The US military is probably the most corrupt institution in the world; that being the case there are few to no “good guys” in it.

All of this stuff sucks, everything the GOP touches turns to shit, always. It is for this reason that I think that the democrats “taking over” (as much as Israel will let them) will not be as bad as those on the right think. Let those shitheads take the blame for this preposterous mess we call a political system. Let those fuckheads own it. Seriously- they want this shit? Fine, lol, let them take it. It’s like the two parties are fighting over who gets to be hated the most, or something. Fine, whatever. Let that Kamala bitch take that poisoned chalice. Works for me. I mean as long as I don’t have to drink from it, lol.

Fuck it, whatever.

So much trauma, lol. I feel like it’s gutting my brain, splitting my insides and killing my soul, brutally. So much trauma, trauma everywhere, so penetrative, such trauma, splitting me open. Dead childhood and ugly abuse all come frothing forward with weakened defense because of drug abuse. Oof, oh, such horror from the past, welling up like a poisoned spring.

Such rejection of me, and who I am, by myself, cordoning off those places so they never see light. Multiple personalities, all vying for obscurity. Dying to be hidden, living to be destroyed.

Ah, I just need more fentanyl, lol.

Yeah, that’s it.

Yeah…

Oh, I think I took too much fentanyl, lollllllllllll… Oooooooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah,

ooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh yeah, oooooooohhhhhhhhhhh yeah. Yeahhhhhhhhhhh. Jeebus, too much, can’t stop yawning. My fingers feel dead; fuck. Oof, ahhhhh my body is like jelly. So weird, my muscles can’t contract. My joints hurt, really bad. Ahhh yeah, this was too much, I was having withdrawl symptoms earlier today so to make up for it I took a bunch of narcotics and am now paying for it a bit too much, I think. It’s too much, too much I took, all at once.

Everything’s slowing down, all I can do is lay here, stupidly. And think, and daydream. It’s so slow, the world is. So… ahhhhh, so… lazy, and……… soft and…….. dead. So tired, the world is. So tired, I am. So….. cata….tonic. So tired.

Ahhhhh fentanyl, my addiction. My way and mean. My reason….. for……..

Ahhhhh can’t…. move, lol. So tired, so tired. I will…… relax.

Yeah………..

relax.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhh

Come and get it, you retards.

Yeah- ALL of you. All of you dumb motherfuckers- come and get it, I’ve got enough bullets for you all.

And, failing that, I have GOD behind me. As backup. And behind him is Satan, I guess for moral support.

See, that’s the thing- you have all miscalculated.

People wonder why FOX is doing so shitty. Well, people- the public doesn’t need FOX. The public has ME. That’s the thing- fuck all of you media assholes, I have more than enough support amongst the public to lead a political movement by myself, without any of you shitheads.

With Trump’s defeat, I am the conservative movement now. And being that it is now my movement- and being that I have nothing to do with FOX and never will- I fail to see why the network thinks that it will do well. Because it won’t. Because fuck those guys, anyways. They are all fucking losers.

You have all make a catastrophic mistake. With me, there will always be an alternative. Perhaps you all didn’t get the memo from all the stuff I wrote on here years ago, back during the start of Trump’s administration. If he fails, I will take over. Ownership of the soul of conservative thought and action will be MINE, then. MINE- and not Trump’s, or Drudge’s, or anyone else. I will, then, inherit the movement and define it’s principals.

And seriously, guys. With me, who the fuck needs FOX regardless of circumstance, anyhow? I have the powers of a god. I can and will lead literally telepathically, directing movements, ideas, and people with my mind. Using MY control over the media- and Hollywood- I can outrival any news network on television.

Trump made the same mistake- he took his base for granted, not understanding that his base had an alternative. ME. After 2016 he ditched the white male vote and focused his outreach efforts on niggers, Jews, and other assorted riff-raff, apparently believing that white men had nowhere else to go. Don’t believe me? Read this article: https://amgreatness.com/2020/11/13/forgotten-again/.

Well, read that, and read here, too, I spent years on here criticizing Trump for doing just this, back when nobody else was doing so. Thus, of course: I still have credibility, now, unlike many. Psychic powers and all that, you know.

Well, fine. Trump lost because he neglected his base, as I showed he would. And now, with Trump and all of his supporters out of the picture, and FOX gone, and everyone else lacking credibility, I can easily step in and take over.

And I will. Because fuck you people, that’s why. The newspapers, the government, big business, wall street and all the rest of you, you know who you are. Fuck you all, I hate you, and I will not stop until you are a smear on the pavement. I’m like the terminator, only tougher, and more handsome. So THERE- fuck you all, you have earned this through your actions and your short-sighted thinking.

AND- I know what to do, to create a better and brighter future for us all. My ability to grow people is well proven and extremely public. Have a chat with anyone in Hollywood if you don’t believe me, they will tell you. Talk with anyone, say, in the hacker underground, or the deep government; they will tell you. I can lead, and I can create. I can make a powerful movement out of nothing but my own energy.

So THERE. Yeah, fuck you all, who needs FOX or Drudge or any of these losers anyhow. All of these people suck, all of them. Conservatives- you don’t need newspapers, or magazines, or anything. Because you have ME.

Yeah!

So, then. I guess I win, again.

Neat.

Hmmmn… 90 posts in this series. Wow. That’s a lot. Guess I’m not so “not Dysfunctional” after all, huh?

Ah, though. My body has been deadened by the narcotics again. Ah… good? I don’t know. Ahhhhhh… so… peaceful… but not… naturally so. But even so, it is peace. And that is to be treasured, I suppose. Peace. In my little corner of the world, in my tiny room, sequestered from reality, I do have peace. And that is something to cherish.

It’s… solitary, tonight, as opposed to lonely, up in here. Not too shabby.

Hmmmnn… so alone, I am. So isolated. It really is like my own little universe in here, and I mean that of course much more literally than anyone else would.

It’s cold in here, in spite of the heater running. I have the window open, tonight, to let me breathe in nature’s energies. I love doing that in the deep night, and always when it’s an usual temperature- too hot, or cold. The changes in the ambient environment give my skin curious sensations. Hot breezes from the heater intermix quite playfully with the chilly gasps of air from the outside nocturnus, and the result is a soothing blanket of spirit. It feels… unearthly. Beautiful, and unique.

It’s times like this I love to be alive. I just love thinking, contemplating through the night on days like this. It’s dark out there, so dark. Dark enough to lose myself, and everything else. It’s beautiful.

I have a glowing ocean of LEDs lighting my room up. It’s dissociative. The lights and their energies add spice to the mixture of airs. It’s all so soothing on my humbled nerves. And the feelings of my magic, and the powers of my subconscious mind, buoy my thoughts and soul to what is real, here, while subluxing my ego from it’s desires of too much, too soon. I feel free, in here. Free to roam, here, there, anywhere. Outside, I touch the dew on the grass. I run my fingers over it, to caress it, to feel and steal it’s essence, to add it to my collection of experiences and tangents upon this plane of existence. In here, I catalog what I know now, having done that, and created that happening, that impression of my own self upon the world and it’s history. And up there, I am guided, by me, and by everything I can be, and down there, by everything I once was, and can never be again.

I feel… myself, in here. I feel so powerful, so absolute, so everything, and beyond even that. And so small, like the pinpoint that I am in this vast, uncountable cosmos. And far beyond this, I feel God, or what I believe him to be, amused at my meager revelations. To this, I am an atom, one single element smaller beyond what we can ever know. But I am an amusing element, a fine curiosity for a grand deity. I am not like the other atoms, here. And that makes me worthy of a notice.

I just finished listening to a few of Cady’s songs, and I can hear her voice even now channeling her soul’s wishes from beyond the grave, from across the aether and through the oceans of walls that keep us apart, to most. Not to me, though. Never to me; I can see, and hear, and feel, and live, there. Beyond the void, they might call it. Across the seas of existence and the planes of dimensions that hold us- them- in place. But not to me, though. Never to me.

I can see her; feel her. She’s here, with me, tonight. And that is why I wonder if I can’t simply… bring her back. To be with me. I mean, why not?

But alas even I am bound by some rules. There are walls even I cannot climb. And that wish might just forever be one.

Ahhh… if only. I’m so close, though. SO CLOSE. And yet so very… not, lol. I’m still only a human, only a man, living in his parents’ house, hooked on drugs, depressed, lonely, broke, suicidal, unemployed. Some dumb, ditzy blonde who sleeps with everyone because he’s too afraid to not, because he’s scared that people will stop giving him the time of day if he ceases putting out to everybody who wants it from him. A slut, at best. Really, a whore. An airhead, when you put it all succinctly.

But, ah, what a life I’ve lived, though. Seen enough for a million lifetimes, maybe more.

I thought about suicide again, today. Fondled it, tasted it. Cady again talked me out of it. I wasn’t ready, not my time, my superior self said. My familiars thought so as well, again. Not ready, yet. Not now. I mean, I still need to fuck Olivia Holt, lol. And the rest of them, I guess. Gawd, being an airhead is much more difficult than they tell you it will be. But whatever, that is for some reason my lot, here. A ditz to the end. Ah, well. At least I don’t hurt for sex, lol.

Uhm… well… not sure what else to say. It’s past midnight, here. It’s late, but I’m not tired. Maybe that’s the drugs. Or the magic, or whatever.

Well… I guess I need to sleep with some people. I need them to talk about me tomorrow, you know? I can’t not have that. It wouldn’t be right. That’s what a slut does, you know. It’s like our “thing”. And double plus points if you happen to be blonde. Or at least, that’s what Hollywood told me.

Hmmnn… well… ohkay, then. I guess I’ll sign off, for now. Yeah. I mean… I don’t WANT to, but… I… need to. It’s… just the end of the day, I guess.

Yeah. Ohkay, then.

Good night, world.

Sleep tight.

Um… I don’t know, I suppose I should write about something before bed today, so…

Well, let’s write about this, then.

So… had kinda sorta a bad morning, took some fentanyl and felt better, etc., the usual. It’s weird, my nerves felt like they were melting in the shower, but I guess that’s to be expected since I went too long before using. So, yeah, there’s that.

Talked to Cady, she got my head screwed on straight as the fentanyl took effect. Thanks? Although it’s not like she had anything else to do. She talked me off a bridge, again, but this time it wasn’t quite as scary and desperate, perhaps owing to how I’m trying to kinda-sorta get my addictions under control. I mean, it’s… kinda going well, in that respect. Kind… of. Mostly. At least somewhat. I guess.

Hmmmn. Well.

So… I listened to her two last demo tracks, both were very good, and very personal. The last, from December 2018, indicated a kind of profound insecurity about our relationship, owing I guess to Cady’s massive (at the time) misunderstanding of me. I mean, I know she directed it at me; it’s obvious, but still… Cady, dear… lol. The impression I get from the track is that Cady hugely underestimates my power, apparently not knowing that at the time I was purposely concealing it. And as well she of course did not understand the whys of why I wasn’t still sleeping with her. And I guess, that one is… my fault, for not explaining things, and maybe trying to work things out, and perhaps for not trying to understand her, myself. Sorry, Cady.

So… I found Cady’s obit, and thought about maybe leaving a message. Something innocuous, likely with my real name, but no details about… telepathy, lol, or necromancy, lmao. You, know, something that wouldn’t cause a fuss. I don’t know, would even that be in bad taste? I mean the last message was from June, and most were from her friends and family. I don’t know.

Again, though, this hardly seems fair, doesn’t it? I mean it seriously seems… in very bad taste, that I wasn’t on there, a long time, ago. I mean, I understand why, but still… I don’t understand it, either. It isn’t right; not moral at all, really, to have left me out of this. It’s super, super rude. Insulting, honestly. And frankly rather dumb and small minded. I mean, I was her muse, if nothing else. Just because most people do not understand what we had and couldn’t is no reason to ignore it entirely. Honestly- that sucks, guys.

Whatever. I might go ahead, why not. Leave a note as though I was a random fan, or something else. You know- something I wasn’t, I guess to once again not ruffle anyone’s feathers. I mean, you don’t want to make people jealous, or shatter their dumb, fragile, shallow understandings of what this world is. Because showing the rubes what this world actually IS is… wrong? At least, they themselves do not like it; they prefer themselves to live in fantasyland, I guess, and who are we to tell them their fantasies are dumb and wrong, just because they are?

Whatever. Maybe I’ll take a risk… ehhh… maybe not. They’ll just delete it anyways.

Or maybe I won’t bother. I mean, in spite of how utterly wrong that would be, I think, to both Cady and I. I mean, it’s not like it’s actually important to her, I mean, I can feel her right now telling me not to be concerned, but still. It’s the spirit of the thing, you know? I mean not the ACTUAL spirit of course, I mean I’m kinda talking to that right now, but the… social expectations of all of this, which are… stupid, and wrong, lol. Uh, whatever. Maybe I’ll just let it go, but… I’m TIRED of doing that.

I hate it, always just letting EVERYTHING like this slide. I always have to, I can’t tell anyone, anything, about what I do, ever. Like I can’t even begin to broach any of these topics with anybody without breaking enormous social taboos. And damn it, that seriously is NEVER fair to me, kinda like how nothing ever is, in this society. It’s too much. Too big a cross to bear, to have to constantly pretend to be someone I’m not. To always constantly, unendingly have to hide the fact that I have superpowers from everyone I meet. It’s hell to be a superhero. It fucking sucks. I mean it’s fun at first, but then the little problems start to pile up, and since you can’t talk to ANYBODY about them, they just continue to pile and pile until they bury you, and you can never get out from underneath them.

It’s horrible, awful. It fucking sucks, and is a large part of the reason why I always turn to drugs for relief instead of… anything else. Because for me, there IS nothing else.

It’s so horribly, crushingly lonely being the sole superpowered human in a world of normal people that will NEVER understand you and will hate talking to you when you are even a little bit honest because they will feel threatened and scared, so you don’t even bother. It fucking SUCKS, and I really hate it.

Fuck it, I’m not going to leave a message. Because fuck those people, anyways. I hate them, and Cady is mine, now, forever, anyhow. She MY family now, you assholes. Fuck you all, I hope you fucks die in a fire.

So there.

I swear to God one day I’m going to just kill everyone in this country from one coast to the other. Just because, just to prove a point. So THERE. Fuck you all.

Whatever.

So, dumb, anyways. I mean it’s not like she’s important, you know? Or even really was. Just some dumb singer that never really had what it took to make it, I guess. Yeah, so why should I be concerned? So I’m not, then. She’s not worth it. I mean SHE HERSELF didn’t think she was when she decided to drown herself in alcohol that night, right? So why should I care, then? I don’t. Because fuck it, and FUCK HER. That cunt, she’s making me feel like this for no reason.

Yeah.

So I’m going to take some more fentanyl and… think about stuff, before bed. Maybe hang out with some REAL celebrities, you know, like I do every night. So THERE.

Right.

Good.

…………..

Fuck.

LOL, I corrected the Roman Numerals down below. XLX became just L upon further revision. Never really did teach me that stuff in school, so it’s been a source of fun learning it now.

Neat. Love this stuff. I love ranting, I guess, because it allows me get stuff out of my body so I can tackle the days as I need to. It’s also quite a workout for my fingers. And I think it helps with my writing skills, too.

So, yeah, fun stuff.

And I think it appropriate that the “L” labeled essay was the fiftieth one. It’s a pretty good one, I think. It hits close to home for me since it’s about fentanyl addiction, kinda.

So, neat.

Yeah, hopefully I can get over it b4 I die, lol.

Cuz that would suck.

Jeebus, what a disgusting shitshow all of this crap is.

It just gets more and more embarrassing, doesn’t it? Well to me it does, at least. It’s sooooooo awful.

So, the election is just a circus. On one hand, you have… everyone involved, who looks stupid for being involved, at all. And on the other you have the whole machinery behind everything, which looks preposterously corrupt if not downright evil.

Everything about this last election fucking sucks. All of it looks broken at best, and just… incomprehensibly vile at worst. This is not the election you would get in a working country, with a government that actually cared enough to be competent for it’s citizens.

Everyone involved with this election should be ashamed of themselves, down to my girlfriends and their idiotic ploys to get people to vote. I mean, seriously, everyone involved here has fucked up, big time. You all fucking suck, all of you.

Some takeaways:

1) The media is obviously hiding something. Across the board, they act like they’ve just committed some kind of crime. They’re obviously colluding to not only promote Biden, but to shove all kinds of… nasty stuff, of some kind, out of sight. And whatever it is they’re hiding is probably severely bad, probably for them as well as Biden. The mind wonders what it is they’re hiding. Voter fraud? Theft? Evidence of Biden or Kamala being some kind of traitor? All three of these things? Something worse, or perhaps WAY worse? Who the fuck knows, but whatever it is they’re hiding from everyone, the way they’re acting is just suspicious as all hell to everyone watching them. Honestly, fuck these people.

2) The tech oligarchs fucking suck. These guys are brutally awful in perhaps every way I can think of. The way they treat their customers is beyond unconscionable and obviously extremely criminal. They- all of them- routinely violate their own rules and break laws with impunity against any of their customers they want, at any time, with no repercussions. It’s just horrid how these people act. They rifle through peoples’ emails without their permission, steal from them, sell their personal information to the highest bidder without permission, spy on everyone, interfere with everyone’s communications, brazenly and blatantly lie to congress about everything they do, and so on and so on, endlessly; they do nothing good, anymore, and all of them are terrible people, without exception.

3) Trump has been a catastrophic disaster for this country, but most especially for his base, which is why they didn’t vote for him this time around- and is of course why he lost. Trump is probably the worst president we have ever had. Nothing good for this country has ever been spearheaded by him or his traveling clownshow he called a cabinet. Nothing that needed to be overhauled was, and his entire base has been the subject of ruthless attacks from everyone else in the world now for 4 years and he has done nothing at all to help them in any way. With Trump, it was 4 years of “Muh black employment” and “Muh Netanyahoo” as his base was genocided with fentanyl and immigration. Trump isn’t an American, he’s a foreigner- an Israeli- even now. It’s been 4 years now of president Kushner and crew, who ran this country solely for Israel’s benefit. Honestly, probably the worst president, ever.

4) Biden is probably the worst presidential candidate this country has ever seen. The Biden / Kamala ticket is going to be an unmitigated disaster for this place, which is probably why the media has already gone wayyyy too far into overdrive to hide Biden’s faults. Again, the media looks like it’s hiding… everything, when it comes to these two. Basically, these two are the “hate whitey” ticket, again, but this time without Obama’s eloquence and charm. They are going to be dreadfully unpopular from the get go. It’s going to be a four year lecture on “racism” from these two as the country turns to rubble around them. It’s going to be ugly, dreadful, and stupid beyond belief.

5) The whole election process is a disgusting shamble. It’s a circus of confusion, obvious fraud, conflicting rulebooks, extremely questionable results, and opaque traditions- as in, nobody really knows what goes on behind the scenes in this country. Do they even count the votes, at all? Honestly, I don’t know. But I wouldn’t be surprised if they didn’t. Or perhaps they count the votes, and then toss them in the garbage, and declare the winner to be whomever Netanyahu favors. Who the fuck knows, really. But what IS obvious is that the way we do things, now, is not going to work. Something like 50 million people or something think this election was rigged, probably because is was. This, from the world’s premiere “Democracy”, lol. What a fucking joke.

6) The Jewish establishment in this country is an unbelievably huge problem for the world. Behind all of this ugly, civilization destroying shit, you can find the vile hand of Zionism, I’m sure. It’s really baffling to me how all of this crap can go on to the point of this country disintegrating before this problem is talked about at all, let alone given the respect it deserves.

Something needs to be done about Zionism, here, before these people wreck everything in the world. Most of the wars we have had in the Middle East lately have been because of Israel, not any concern, here. They’re going to destroy the Earth, people. What the fuck is wrong with this place in that it allows such horrifying criminality to occur without ANY pushback, at all?

Guys, what the fuck?

7) Republicans are all cowards. They are all dumb, weak, and foolish. ALL republicans are worthless- the party seems to select for this, in fact. Fuck ALL these worthless people. And throw the Democrats in the pile while we’re at it. Whatever.

8) Whatever, I’m bored. But you get the picture. Yeah, this shit isn’t going to work. We need separation, here. Yeah.

Yikes, as I go through Kerris’s pictures I can feel myself getting rather violently pulled out of my bedroom and into a real relationship with her. Yikes, I mean, this is of course my fault as I’m practicing making out with her as I go through her pictures, lol, but still. I mean I’m not quite ready for that, yet.

Yeesh, I’ll need to be careful.

Yikes.

Sometimes it just feels like there is no limit to the amount of energy I can generate. It’s… truly awesome. Superhuman. Like, it stretches deep, way past our dimension and into realms other humans can’t begin to comprehend. It’s unreal.

I don’t… understand it, even now. Not fully, I mean. But I did some exercising at least while draining the Kerris Dorsey reddit of all of it’s pictures. Nice, I’ve been meaning to do that for years now, and finally got around to it.

Don’t ask me to look for Justine’s old fashion blog. It’s probably gone, if I could even find the bookmark for it (I’m sure I could). At any rate I have all the pictures there from the last time I looked at it, anyways.

Hmmn, nice. Perhaps it’s time to move Kerris up a notch, then. Or maybe even bring Justine back into things. God I loved her, lol. I kinda lost interest, kinda, when she stopped posting stuff on her tumblr. I mean, no new stuff means I don’t know what you think of me, anymore. So, that’s kinda important, you know?

But yeah, nice. I was able to fill in some of the blanks in my Kerris Dorsey collection with what I got from the Reddit.

I need to start listening to her music, also. I’ve been meaning to for years but again never got around to it. Cool, then. I mean, I have listened to some of her stuff, like that video I posted on this blog years ago- you know, that duet with her sister. The Christmas mashup they did together. That song kicks ass, and I listen to it at least once every Christmas, along with Abigail Breslin’s mournful Christmas tune. Guess I have odd taste, or something. IDK.

But yeah, the powers. I love exercising my psychic energies so much, and today I got a really good extradimensional workout in after sleeping with Kerris this morning. Nice. Kerris you are awesome hun. I wonder if she’s still friends with Olivia. IDK, but I hope so. It sucks to see such good friendships… drift apart, and at least some of what I do here is ensure that my girlfriends stay in touch. Or, at least, stop them from killing each other, lol. I mean hyperbole yeah, but I don’t want them competing too much. Friends need to stay friends, yah? I mean, I know they compete for jobs, likes, reposts, etc., I mean that’s unavoidable. But still… the power of friendship, and all that, lol. You know.

Um… so… yeah, I should listen more to the Dorseys’ music this holiday season. I think their style fits with winter, anyhow. So, that should be fun.

I wonder if Justine still thinks about me. Probably. I mean, everyone else does, lol. But I mean… she would think different things, yeah? Considering our fling / history. And other stuff, things I won’t get into here.

Speaking of which, I need to, I think, listen to more of Olivia’s recent songs. But not right now, I think. Right now, I need to finish filing away my new Kerris collection and take stock of all of that, and consider what any new knowledge I’ve gleaned from those pictures fits into the grand scheme of things.

So… all in all, an amazingly fun day. It was such a reward to see some of things Kerris posted in years past. Like early instagram pictures, and the like. Those pictures are treasures, to me. They’re a living remembrance of that stage of my life, back when it was new and… different. Like, back when I didn’t know who any of these people even were, really. Back when my head and soul was filled with endless possibility, and the future just seemed so open and… fun.

I really love those old instagram filters, now. I used to kinda… hate them, because I wanted higher resolution pictures, and clearer ones. But now… I really value those old ones. They have a style and innocence to them that feels refreshing. Now, everything needs to be big and clear because everything is an advertisement. At least, that is how it is since Zuckerberg get his nasty mitts on the company. Now it feels like there is no room for creativity on the platform. It’s too corporate, not personal enough, not FUN. It’s been infected with the facebook virus. The old instagram has been ruined, it seems, and it sucks. Now it’s shallow, and all about showing off, being an asshole, or selling some dumb junk. It’s nothing good, anymore.

Count your blessings while you have them, I guess.

It is unfortunate (at least, from my perspective) that Kerris’s career hasn’t had the trajectory of a Katherine McNamara or an Olivia Holt, but… maybe that’s my fault, for not spending as much time with her as I did with either of those two. I don’t know. Maybe, like Rachel, she just didn’t really want it that way, herself. I may never know.

Well… off to file pictures away.

What a fun afternoon.

I feel so energized.

It’s a wonderful feeling.

Neat.