By sighinide September 5th, 2020, under Uncategorized
I wonder if she’s related to Issac Newton. I mean…
Ah, fuck it.
Gawd is she gorgeous.
Her arms are just spectacular. Gawd, she is just HOT. Her appendages are just the best- arms and legs both. Top tier. And her digits, too. I mean like her actual digits of course.
Jeebus Cribiny!
See Kathy? I’m older. I mean not too much- just enough. Juuuuust enough for u huni. When you want me to be.
I probably shouldn’t do this when I need to refill a girl, lol. It kinda spills out in embarrassing ways.
That’s ok, I guess it will spill out one way or another, lol.
Nature does have her ways.
I seriously need to stop looking at her insta, lol. I don’t have time right now for any fantasies. And I mean like any.
By sighinide September 5th, 2020, under Uncategorized
Ummm. Lexi.
So about that extra “y”… I… like it?
I mean it’s there, right? So it’s not like you can not have it. I mean you can’t at this point be like “Oh yeah, that y in there? I guess we don’t really need it.” Nooooo, not at this point. I mean, we’re at least like… 15 years too late for that.
So it’s mostly a matter of… aesthetics. Perspective. Aesthetive? Is that a word? Sure, why not. I mean, “Jayde” is apparently a word, so….
Yeah, it’s aesthetiveness. The aesthetiveness of the whole thing. “Jayde”. Jayyyyyyde.
By sighinide September 4th, 2020, under Uncategorized
Yeah, well… I don’t know. I really don’t want to get too far into politics here again.
I just took a cursory look at the rest of the posts in this series and wow there are a lot of them, lol.
Like literally 2 dozen of them, haha. And it seems they all share the same running themes of disappointment and frustration.
Yeah… so… with what may be Trump’s last days in office upon us shortly, what now?
Well, it’s just more of the same, I guess.
Trump still sucks, of course. He’s still the same guy today as he was when he stepped into office- a grifter, a con artist, sociopath, a traitor for Israel. A boomer cuck who doesn’t know, or perhaps doesn’t care, about building bridges to the younger generations.
His presidency was basically four years of sucking Israel’s dick and dumb boomer fantasies of “MAGA!!!!!!!!1!!!1”
In all other ways he hasn’t actually done anything, like at all, including his job. It’s chaos in the streets now, like it has been for… I don’t know, 6 months or something. He doesn’t seem interested.
I mean I know he tweets or something. But to who? Not to me. Few of his supporters even use twitter- see my Cady Groves posts about that. Who, exactly, is he tweeting to? Fuck if I know, lol.
The GOP basically has nowhere to go after this. After I stopped supporting Trump, he stopped even trying to look conservative. Perhaps he ran out of material to steal. The right, then, abandoned him. The GOP is dead.
I think I read on Gab that at the Republican convention half the speakers were either Trump or his family members, lol. What a ridiculous circus. Gawd, how dreadfully embarrassing. I mean, what if you’re not a Zionist? Or a boomer? Or a part of what Sailer calls Conservative, Inc.? LOL.
Oof, well, I don’t care. Let it sink. The GOP is a party of traitors and losers. It belongs to history, anyways.
The democrats… I don’t care, they’re Democrats. Biden / Kamala will just be Obama and Trump again. Biden is another boomer cuck sociopath cut from the same cloth as Trump, and Kamala is yet another one of those Brown-ish mullato type Democrats whose whole career is basically about hating non-Jewish white people, men especially. Who knows what her specific positions are, who cares. I mean, if she has any. They’re all the same. She will just be Obama yet again, just more shrill and without his admitted charms.
I see that some naive Democrats on twitter were upset about their convention. They wanted more policy talk, I guess. LOL. Are they… really that dense? It’s hard to believe. If they aren’t, they seriously don’t know the landscape well at all. Honestly- as if hearing about Kamala’s opinions on the issues of the day- like race- will make people want to vote for her. Hahaha!!! Good lord, people.
Seriously, Kamala is just toxic. Like everyone else not biracial or female, I am really dreading Kamala. She seems every bit as obtuse and ignorant as Michelle Obama when it comes to any issue that affects White male Americans, but it her case it seems almost purposeful- as if she specifically avoided learning how to relate to white men simply because she couldn’t stomach it. With Michelle, she wasn’t a career politician, herself. I mean, not really. So her ignorance kinda made more sense. With Kamala, the ignorance seems almost cultivated. Yikes.
I think the VDARE crowd nailed it when they said that biracial politicians were typically even worse than pure blacks. The lighter the skin, the more the need to “prove” one’s anti-white credentials. Yeeeech. At any rate, Kamala sets my teeth on edge. I can just feel it. This could be unbelievably nasty.
Though it remains to be seen whether it will be bad. We’ll see. I suspect it might not be. I’m getting visions now of an angry empire, lashing out blindly and stupidly at random and only hitting itself in the process. And who knows- maybe the Orange Zionist will win. Yeeeeech. How utterly dreadful.
So… whatever. It’s all just junk. There is nothing of value here.
By sighinide September 4th, 2020, under Uncategorized
lol at that title, haha. Quite a mouthful.
Well…
I don’t know what I wrote last night, I mean I was in a haze of drugs, pain and sadness, per usual. But I just took a quick glance at the other post and it seems ok to me.
More important is the fact that I think that with each post here, I feel very slightly less like eating a bullet. Very slightly less, yes, but it’s something, and I’ll take it, if in fact I do wish to live. I think I need this.
I really don’t want to die, I think. Kinda like what I said about Dove, down there. I don’t want to kill myself like her father killed himself, over… I don’t know. Or Cady. Or a multitude of people I’ve known both famous and not that have done so. Celebs, childhood buddies, college friends, etc. I don’t want to go out like that, I guess.
Yeah, I guess. I mean I’ve done all that I wanted to do as an adult, here. I mean, everything except start a family of my own. And that… just seems like an impossible dream sometimes. This country in particular seems to go out of it’s way to make that as difficult as possible, maybe because it hates us, lol. I mean, the government reeeeeally doesn’t like white people, haha. Really really doesn’t, kind of like the media, the courts, and everything else. But I mean, even excepting that, it’s brutal. The birth rate is low even for Asians and Jews, here, and fuck knows the government likes those two races well enough.
But, I don’t know.
Middle age, too, sucks, especially for anybody not rich. It’s just so dreadful and imposing. It’s waaaaaaay to stressful. It’s just too much. The jobs we get in this country don’t pay anywhere near enough to sustain even a baseline of happiness, and the responsibilities, even without children will quickly overwhelm anyone without a support system. For someone who needs to for some reason deal with unique problems that must be sorted out by his lonesome (*ahem*) it’s essentially impossible to make it work. Toss in drug addiction and physical problems and there’s just no way to make it. At least in this society.
It just seems so overwhelming, I guess. Too much. My brain shorts out from the pressure. A lot of peoples’ would. I mean- if I indeed am the smartest man in the world, if not ever, and if even I can’t make it work, than what does that say?
Yes, I do realize that my circumstance as the world’s only “superpowered” individual make me unique. But still.
It’s just… too much. Wayyyyy too much.
I don’t know. Maybe I won’t be able to make it work. Maybe I will. But I will try. I guess that’s all I can promise.
I’ll give it a shot. I hope I can at least make some people happy, while I’m here.
By sighinide September 4th, 2020, under Uncategorized
I saw that, Stefanie.
Yeah… I saw it.
Thanks.
I mean it. It’s those little things that sometimes mean the most.
Thank you.
Well…
So…
Alright.
Let’s do this.
Another post, before bed.
Because fuck it, that’s why. And I know that I need to.
Ok… I… need to say some things. Debby… I get it. I mean, I get it, I really do. I’m sorry I said the things I did. I was just… really sad. Seriously sad. And seriously angry. You have a right to be defensive. But still. Considering the… situation… something, to me, should have been said, at the time.
You know that I can pick up on the subtle. I mean, c’mon, hun. Jesus Debby you KNOW what she meant to me. You had to have. You were fucking THERE. And you, being you, should know what is going on with me now. Right?
I mean of course NOW you know, since I’ve spelled it out for you. But you should have known before, too.
Well… thanks, though. I’ll look into it, I guess. It’s pretty sad though that it’s come to this. Maybe you should have done things different too, you know? Maybe you ALL should have. Maybe things would have been better that way.
I mean THINK about it.
Well, whatever. I know what I need to do, and I will do it. I don’t want Dove to suffer through that again. I’ll do it, even if only for her. Right? Is that how it works? Is that the rallying cry I need right now- for Dove Bar?
Sure, it works for tonight. But what happens if 1) It doesn’t work, 2) It doesn’t work out, or 3) It doesn’t… work?
You know?
Not to belabor the point, but if it doesn’t work, what does that say about TOMxDOVE? Or if it doesn’t work out, me without Dove? Or if it doesn’t… work, you know, what does that say about this whole thing?
I shudder to think.
But… I’ll do it.
Thanks.
I guess.
Um… so back to Steffy. I see that she just unlisted her music videos. I get why, but I don’t like it; those things meant something to me. And like a lot of the stuff I like, it apparently needs to be buried. I mean I get why, but I don’t want to. Sometimes this stuff is a real bitch.
And while we’re still kinda on the subject of Dove, so did Chloe East as well bury her old vlogs. Sucks, but I have at least the Halloween one saved. Maybe some kind soul will upload the rest of them somewhere? For her youngest (oldest?) fans.
Whatevs.
So. Steffy. It’s late, and I’m yawning, my eyes are watering, and the nightly narcotics cocktail is zonking me out… but… I need to know something, and I know you can’t help me. But maybe you can… give me something. Something I desperately need, now more than ever. I need a clue about what happened, that night. Girl That I Used to Know. The lyrics, and the band seem to… almost… foreshadow something dreadful. Christina Grimmie.
What… is the story there? I mean I know you don’t know the story but… maybe you can help me? Or if not you, maybe… someone else? Someone close to things.
Please?
I just need to know. With all of the stuff that has happened lately it’s like, I need to know. For my own sake, to understand me. To understand us.
You see- we’re going to need to fix this thing, and that means asking the difficult questions. That means understanding where we came from, what we did wrong, and perhaps doing things in a better way, next time.
I can’t feel like that again. Like it felt after Cady passed. No way, no how. Not with someone like that.
And Cady- God damn, I’m STILL hung up over this! It still hurts, and fuck I still feel sometimes like a little cry or two now and again. Very uncharacteristic of me. It’s just that this really shouldn’t have happened.
Like oof. I hate it because in way too many ways it touches a nerve. It’s like it hurts everything, even the things she wasn’t involved in. As in- I’ve withdrawn from everything romantic since she passed. IDK why, perhaps I’m trying to figure things out, first. Maybe I need to. I don’t know.
I still need to decipher the Cady Groves conundrum. Maybe that is for another day.
By sighinide September 3rd, 2020, under Uncategorized
Soooooo…
ahem. I’m not sure of how to really start this one, so let’s just get into it, I guess.
So I was thinking about… me. And my history, and how long I have been doing… this. Whatever “this” is. You know, bending reality, or whatever. And telepathy, mind control, etc. The thing is is that I still don’t know when this started- whether I grew into this ability, was born with it, fell into it accidentally, or it was gifted to me, or whatever. I honestly don’t have a clue, and it seems nobody else knows, either.
I’ve always known I was “different”, though. Even as a child I clearly was. Everyone told me so. And I do mean different. Not merely gifted, but unique. More than one teacher when I was growing up said to me that I was by far the smartest kid they had ever seen.
I’ve never had my IQ formally tested, but I’m somewhere inside the top portion of the top 1%, as that was the most common score I would get on those IQ tests I took as a public school student. Yeah, I know, that’s hardly specific, but that’s what the results tell me. I did some googling about the particular IQ tests I took and it seems they max out at around 160. So if true I’m either 160 on an average day or greater.
I’m in Mensa, yeah, because why not. I got a lifetime membership because I suppose you need to belong to something, right? I considered Intertel too, since they are big in the Chicago area, but they come and go it seems. “Big” is of course a relative term when it comes to high IQ orgs- in this case, it means they have a magazine of sorts, but it comes out only sporadically, and without the polish of Mensa’ famous mag. I think they have only a fraction of Mensa’s membership totals.
A 160 also qualifies me for ISPE, and I considered joining. But… no lifetime membership option, there. These things do get expensive as the years go on. A hundred something dollars a year is a hell of a lot of money for a lifetime in a club like that.
So… how “smart” am I? Well, my hunch tells me I’m quite a bit north of 160. Personally, I think I’m at least historical genius level, so at least about 180, or a little higher. A 180 would put me firmly around people like Einstein, Jung, and Beethoven. And since my impact on world history has been significantly greater than any of those three, if not greater than those three combined, I could well be up at or above Da Vinci levels, which are estimated to be in the lower 200’s.
I could well be the smartest man that has ever lived. I mean, why not? I am the only man in history that actually has comic book level superpowers, and I apparently developed them myself, mostly because I had nothing else to do. So… smartest man ever. Why not? I’m certainly the only man in history to successfully date about a hundred Hollywood starlets at once, at any rate.
So then- how long have I been doing this? Manipulating the world with my mind. Altering the timeline. Pulling stuff into this realm from parallel dimensions.
Who the fuck knows, lol.
I’ve investigated this before, on this blog. I’ve determined that I’ve been mind controlling the people around me at least since my college days, which was around 2000-ish. And for Hollywood in general, at least since 2007-ish, with verrrry strong hints that my old favorites were being controlled well before that, maybe even since high school.
But, who knows though.
Case in point- the ending to St. Elsewhere.
Yeah, seriously.
Bet you didn’t expect that, huh?
LOL. But- seriously.
Watch it.
How did I come up with this, you ask?
I used to read Parade magazine back in the day, and this scene was described in an article about famous TV endings. This was back in high school, which means mid 90’s. I never forgot how this scene was described, and it intrigued me for years- but until the magic of youtube came along, I didn’t have the chance to see it. But I did recently, first, I think about five years ago, sporadically since, and then again tonight.
The scene centers around a young autistic boy, wrapped in his own little world, who has apparently dreamed the show up over the years. The characters are figments of his imagination, creative interpretations of those he knows, and their actions are the exaggerated internal dramas of a kid of can’t relate so well to real people and “normal” behavior.
An interesting twist ending, to be sure.
But wait! The kid’s name… is Tom. My name. I was also at the time around the same age as the kid in the scene, and I lived in a house not different from his. And I look quite like he does- at that age, I had his hairstyle. And I act like him, too- see him, with that snowglobe? Not too dissimilar from me and my various computers over the years. And… not too dissimilar from my old snowglobe, either. The one I used to spend hours looking at, every day. Before the computers.
They didn’t… take this from me, did they? I mean I’m sure they didn’t, right? Surely this is a coincidence.
Right. But note that this scene is the origin of many conspiracy theories about TV show universes, many of which posit that in fact “Tommy” here (exactly what I was called at that age, BTW) might be thinking up and responsible for pretty much everything on television.
I have nothing else to do and my mind is finally clear, so let’s talk about this.
If you fucks- by which I mean whomever is reading this- cannot fix the problem of this country being inundated with swarms of stupid, impulsive, incomprehensibly violent niggers, than I will do it for you.
That is both a promise and a threat.
Frankly, I have had it. I’m sick of the daily reports of blacks murdering whites simply because blacks seem to be inherently hateful and violent and the accompanying lack of response from any of our “leaders”. Or from the public at large.
You’ve had your chance. I’ve given all of you years to fix this problem, and noone has bothered to try since I offered the challenge. Fine, I will fix it myself, in my own way.
I have a feeling that many are not going to like “my own way”. I am a necromancer, not a politician. I don’t play by others’- by your- rules.
But since I seem to be the only adult in this country, so be it.
As I said, you had your chances. Years of them. That you failed to capitalize is your own fault.
Alright. So.
That’s it. Don’t expect more; why would I reveal my secrets or plans to you?
I’m through with the histrionics, so you can breathe easy. This post is just about other stuff. I mean, just so you know. It’s not like I’m obsessing, or whatever. It’s just that this stuff is what I talk about, here.
So… Cady, or whomever. What is the point?
I mean, I get this:
This was the selfie Cady posted that I mentioned earlier. The one before her “I’m all better now” tweet. Titled “@cadygroves
#sexyinsorrow”. Alright, so… great. There it is. Thanks for the selfie.
Is… that it? I mean, all of what we did together. I mean, it’s not bad, but… other relationships lead to… better things. Like families. What I get are selfies, and not a whole lot else. I mean I don’t get anything to hold onto, at any rate.
I tried to rectify this, once. I tried to use my influence to change the system for the better, and got nothing of value in return for my efforts. Just shit- dumb crap from our nation’s stupid politicians, and incomprehensible “woke” nonsense from the business classes. And some admittedly cute selfies from a few girls.
If there is a place that needs rescuing, it’s here. I can see this country regressing back to what it was 150 years ago, and that isn’t good. The USA used to be a land of grinding poverty. I think I remarked on here before how at one point in our old history, most of the families in the USA didn’t own any money at all- barely a cent. It was barter, not buying, that was the lifeblood of our economy, a long time ago. This country was a land of horrific wealth and opportunity inequality before the world wars. And I can see us going back to that, if we’re not there already, and I think that sucks. I actually like having a middle class, for example.
But it doesn’t look like there’s any way out, or that anyone cares. We’re going backwards, and with the added problem of the fact that this time the wealthy seem to fear and hate anyone poorer than they, with poor white men of course getting the brunt of their disrespect and abuse.
This country has too many rich people. And nothing will change unless that does.
The thing is- nobody is going to get what they want, not even the rich. You can’t run a high tech economy on barter. You need actual money, in the hands of actual people, for something like that to run correctly. But it is what it is.
And of course, the Jewish establishment needs to go. Like, now. All of them- all of their organizations, all of their leaders, all of their influence and dirty money. They need to be shown the door. We all know why; there’s no point is explaining the obvious. But seriously, they need to leave, and the sooner the better.
Is anyone listening? Anybody at all? Hello?
Well, back to Cady, as I’m wandering off into the bleachers here, lmao.
I just wish that there was more of what we had together besides… the selfies, and such. I would probably be less… depressed if there was more that was individual to me specifically of what she created. I would be more stable, less miserable. I mean, that’s the drugs fucking with my mind, yeah, but that’s also a scream into a void since I have nobody to talk to. I built up an empire of ghosts, which is great if you want to explore the limits of life and magic, but not so great if you want to just… text somebody.
I don’t know. Did I do things wrong? Back to that question, again. Because I really am miserable. I guess it’s a question of whether this is just a side effect of living in a dying empire, or something I created for myself, or maybe both.
I don’t want to die. I don’t want to kill myself, or OD. I went through that again, this morning. I got a weird and intense migraine probably as a side effect of the narcotics and thought about dying again, and what a relief that would be. I mean I just want out of here, and I don’t care how it happens. I mean, I could be gone by this afternoon, if I really wanted it. Or by tomorrow morning, if I wanted to make sure there was no chance of coming back. Easy enough for me to join the very long list of people that I have known and respected that have taken the easy way out. But… no, I won’t.
I have known so. Many. People who have done this.
But… no.
I want all of this… to be worth something. I want it to count, as dumb and cliched as that sounds.
I made a promise. And in a world where nothing is solid, that has to mean something.
So I’m going to tough this out, for now, and see where this goes.
